IS IT RIGHT TO MARRY A PREGNANT WOMAN?

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   efeguyposted 14 years ago

   Jean,am unmarried teenage mother had her first baby three years ago.To her dismay today,she is pregnant for her second baby.Though Charles the father of her baby and pregnancy left her.
   
   Now there is an elderly divorcee who has no child and is willing to do anything to marry jean and take care of the unborn baby.
   
   Do you think is wrong for jean to marry him?
   
   share your matured views

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      Poppa Bluesposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Well for one thing why would Jean be dismayed? It's not like she wasn't pregnant once before!
      No I don't think it's wrong for an older man to marry Jean, if they love each other. Using care of the baby and Jean as an excuse to marry would be a mistake. If for some reason Jean can not care for the baby then she should give the baby up for adoption.

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         Lisa HWposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         If it were my daughter I wouldn't want her to put her baby up for adoption.  I wouldn't have wanted to do that with any of my babies, so it's really not a heartache I'd want for my daughter.  (One of my children is an adopted son, so there's nobody who knows the kind of bond and good parenting that can happen with adoption like I do; but I still wouldn't want my daughter to have to put her child up for adoption.

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            Poppa Bluesposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Of course as a parent you'd want what YOU think is best for your daughter as would I. We all want our children to be happy and prosperous. I would rather my daughter give the baby up if she intimated to me that caring for a child would be a burden or otherwise signaled that was the case by considering marriage to an elderly divorcee with which she has no love or relationship! Ultimately it's her decision and she will have to live with it, but we can't forget that whatever she decides will also effect another too young to share their views.

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      pylos26posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Of course its alright for the old guy to marry the younger woman. Its been happening for a million years.
      
      There is a trade off naturally...she's looking for support for her illigitimate kids and is willing to accept less in the form of a husband...and the old man apprantly is able to support her family and at the same time will have what he considers a trophy wife. He will end up smiling and she will continue to get laid by whom ever she pleases.

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      bettynewberryposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I believe it takes quite a man to marry a women who has children from another man, and is willing to raise them as his own. This type of man is rare. My daddy married my mom when I was just 3. My mom had me and 4 other kids all from different fathers and yet my dad took us all in and raised us the best he could. This man worked many a long day and night and more weekends than I can remember. This wonderful man taught me many things. Even my dads family embraced us like we had been his from the get go. Do you wana know why I think this man came into my moms life and became the daddy to us 5 children?? I know in my heart it was cause God sent him!! God knew we needed a daddy and that this was a good man. I am not going to tell you my dad did not drink or cuss or argue with my mom, cause he did all those things and more. But I do know this, any old punk can make a baby, it takes a man to raise up a child and try to teach them how to survive in life. I am 42 years old, my daddy is 64 and my HERO!!!! Where was my biological father you might ask?? He was around but he never did right by me and even when I went to stay with him for a summer I refused to call him dad because he was and will never be my dad. A dad is a man who provides for you and is there for you through all times, not some man who just provides sperm!!!

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         Stimpposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Believe me, from experience, it is doubly difficult to TRY to help raise another woman's children.  Especially when she is shooting venom into thier ears every time they come over.  This is CRAZY hard.

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            efeguyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            your view is great

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         efeguyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         your view is great.thanks

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      Rod Marsdenposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Does love come into the picture at all? If so then that is part of the answer.
      
      
      

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      Himitsu Shugishaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      There must be more to this story, because based on what you've written here I don't see a problem with it. Are you implying that Jean is simply using the older man for security?

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         efeguyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         himitsu,that is the full story.the old man said he his in love and want to marry jean,not jean using him for security.
         
         thanks for question and views

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      Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Is it wrong for her to marry him? Who is to really say, what is wrong or what is right? Opinions are subjective and biased to one's own moral views.
      
      If we account for the rules of morality- No it would not be wrong.
      
      Thank you and have a great day.

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      lyricsingrayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Buddy, that's up to you not us.

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   AdviceDoctorposted 14 years ago

   No, I don't think it's wrong. It's very important for kids to have a father figure. It's very important for Jean to have someone to take care of her. If they are inlove, or at least like each other very much, I think they should do it. Of course, if there are no feelings they shouldn't bother..

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      efeguyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      thanks for your views and welcome to hub pages,checking your hub and hope you check mine too and be my fans

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      efeguyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      thanks for your views and welcome to hub pages,checking your hub and hope you check mine too and be my fans

      replyreport
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   LOT2DOposted 14 years ago

   Not a bad thing to do!

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      efeguyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      thanks for your view.checking our hub

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   Lisa HWposted 14 years ago

   Sometimes it's difficult for someone to really say what's :wrong" or not wrong.  All I know is if it were my teenage daughter I wouldn't want to see her marry an elderly man.   I'm guessing, though, that the girl lives in some country other than the US and maybe is of a different culture.
   
   I live in the US.  If it were my daughter I'd hope she would let me (or someone like an aunt or other close woman relative or friend) help her with providing for her young children.  I'd hope she wouldn't date or think about getting married until the children and she were older, and until she was better able to choose a good partner.

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   sneakorocksolidposted 14 years ago

   I think she should get a grasp on her self control issues before she takes on more responsibilities.

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      Lisa HWposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Jean's a kid.  I think she needs a sensible, caring, mother around, talking to her, helping her, and trying to help her understand why it's important she not have any more babies showing up on the scene in the near future.
      
      (I wonder how old the guy who wants to marry her is.  I can't help but wonder if he's a good-hearted guy who may find himself with a ready-made family that may be more than he can deal with, or if he may end up with a wife who is too immature to hold up her end of the relationship.

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   Lisa HWposted 14 years ago

   I know some people really shouldn't keep their babies; but the other side of that is that, as someone who has had two babies myself, there's no way I would ever want my daughter to go through the horror of giving away a baby.  My son's birth mother was a real "piece of work", and he was injured in early infancy.  Still, I'd hope "Jean" could have a mother or older woman around to help her, so she'd learn how to bond with her baby and take care of it right.

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   habeeposted 14 years ago

   If Jean is in love with the guy, it's a win-win situation for everyone. If she's just using him, it's wrong. My 3 children were very young when my ex and I divorced. I married a man who had no kids but who had always wanted them. He's sterile. He's been a wonderful father to my girls, while their biological father (to whom I often refer as the sperm donor) had little to do with them. Being a good father has little to do with the deposit of sperm.

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   ralwusposted 14 years ago

   Methinks he is speaking of himself. Go for it my man.

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      tantrumposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      but he doesn't look elderly enough !

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      Stimpposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I do too....Who is to say what is right and what is wrong with anything we choose to do?  Its what YOU feel is right...not what others feel is right.

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   h.a.borcichposted 14 years ago

   It doesn't look like Jean has had a chance to get to know herself well or make healthy relationship decisions. For a marriage to be sucessful it requires two healthy people. Rushing into a marriage might not help for the long run. Just my opinion, Holly

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    WriteAngledposted 14 years ago

    If the relationship is based on love and trust, then yes. Differences in age, social standing, ethnicity, or anything else do not matter if the couple have found love. If mutual love is lacking, it is a recipe for disaster.

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       cosetteposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       i couldn't have said it better myself.

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    tobey100posted 14 years ago

    Sounds like he's more interested in having a child than having a wife.  Nothing inherently wrong with it, just don't expect it to last too long.  When the novelty of the child wears off (like as it continues to grow, they don't stay puppies) so will the wife.  Tough situation.

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    prettydarkhorseposted 14 years ago

    as long as you love them and want a life forever with them of course you can

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    Mrs.Nitaposted 14 years ago

    In life we make choices and we have to bear our own cross.  I think getting married to help someone take care of a child is the wrong reason to get married, just like a couple getting married because of a pregnancy is wrong. Now if, they are in love and want to be together that's different.  However if there are no feelings there then this man is just setting himself up to be used. I also wouldn't suggest adoption; as women we are stronger than we think and we backed into a wall we have what it takes to survive.

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       efeguyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       your view is great Mrs Nita

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       efeguyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       your view is great Mrs Nita

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    Cleancloverposted 14 years ago

    yes he can marry no problems

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    efeguyposted 14 years ago

    thanks for all your views

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    AnythingArtzyposted 14 years ago

    In any relationship it's not very good to just jump right in before getting to know each other but assumming these two know each other well enough and it's not a "needy" situation like any man will do to help support my children etc., and the man isn't taking advantage of her situation. I see nothing wrong with it. besides there is no law Biblical or otherwise against marrying a pregnant woman. I commend the gentleman for willing to take on another mans child and treat it as his own. Not an easy task for I was a stepmom for many years.

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    Sa Toyaposted 14 years ago

    it's a difficult one!
    
    There is no real right or wrong.
    
    I believe if they are in love and that love is based on trust intimacy (not just physical). Then why not. They shouldn't jump into it but take time to build a relationship.
    
    To be honest its a decision for them to make. Nothing is wrong with marrying for the right reasons.

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