Funniest Answering Machine Messages

1. 0

   Deborah Sextonposted 14 years ago

   What's the funniest messages you've heard when calling someone?
   
   ie: Hi! Tony's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

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2. 59

   Ohmaposted 14 years ago

   Nobody's home but the cat and he won't answer the phone so leave a message and the dog will call you back when he comes in.

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3. 0

   Justine76posted 14 years ago

   Mine. I recorded the operator message you get when you leave the phone off the hook.
   when people called, tehy heard this.."beeeeoop..if yould like to make a call, please hang and try agin, if you need help, please hang up and dial the operator....beep beep beep..."
   
   OMG it was soo funny...people would hang up, call right back. hang up, call back agian and then occasionaly I would get a message like "WHAT THE HELL!!! Why does it keep saying that?!"
   
   It was hillarious, but I finally had to change it becuase eveyone I knew got really mad at me and didnt think it was so funny. Its been a while tho, I may put it back up...

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      Ivorwenposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      That is fabulous Justine!

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         Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I thought it was pretty funny. My mom did not..wich made me think it was even funnier!!

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         Mikel G Robertsposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Yea what Ivorwen said....lol

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      manlypoetrymanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      That is classic genius-type funny there...Justine...I'm laughing as I type this!
      
      I once had a voice message that answered like I was there...ya' know: "Hi"..."how ya' doing?"..."really!"..."me...not much at the moment"..."BTW...I'm not really here; Please leave a message".
      
      Folks would be surprised by how many people...can get agitated by such a message...but Justine's is far more hilarious!

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      1. 0

         Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this

         i really loved it. glad you liked it!!

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4. 75

   frogdroppingposted 14 years ago

   A few years ago mine said ""Hi, I'm not available right now. I'm avoiding someones call. If I don't call you back - the person I'm avoiding is you"
   
   Anyway - as you do, sometimes I wouldn't get round to returning calls so I was always saying "nooooo sorry, I was joking, of course I'm not avoiding you ... "

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5. 93

   Urbane Chaosposted 14 years ago

   "Hello.  You have reached a telepathic thought recording device.  Think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling, and I'll think about calling you back."
   
   Beeep...
   
   For some reason, I miss answering machines.  Ya could always have so much fun with them!

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6. 0

   Justine76posted 14 years ago

   remeber you could purchase casette tapes of songs, rewritten to be messages?

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7. 64

   Ivorwenposted 14 years ago

   My friend got sick of telemarketers and tried several different things to deter them.  Finally, she recorded her message in Gaelic.  It cracks me up every time I hear it, even though it is nothing spectacular.  Plus, she has quit receiving telemarketer calls, although she has began receiving messages in Pig Latin...

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8. 59

   Pr0metheusposted 14 years ago

   A couple years back I set my cell phone VM to:
   
   "<frantically picks up phone with noise in background>  Hey, I'm REALLY busy right now, let me call you back in like 5.  <15 seconds of silence> <BEEP>"
   
   One day my boss called me twice and almost fired me because she thought I had hung up on her... twice, so I changed it.
   
   The other one I had was:
   
   "Hello <2 or 3 second pause> Hey, what's goin on? <3 or 4 second pause>  I'm not here right now, but leave a message and I'll get back to you"
   
   I'd get messages all the time like "You son of a bitch..<click>"

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9. 60

   theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

   My own home message has my Rooster on it, it simply says, I am not in right now but please leave a message after my Cock crows some people have simply banged the reciever down hard on my cock....while others have been good enough to speak soft and kind to him...

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10. 0

    Deborah Sextonposted 14 years ago

    I did one that said:
    
    Hello...
    
    I'm sorry who?
    
    Could you please speak louder I can't hear you.
    
    I'm sorry, I still can't hear you; so could you please leave a message?
    
    beep....
    
    I thought it was funny but one caller got really angry.

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11. 60

    caravalhophotoposted 14 years ago

    When in our twenties a room mate an I made up a song at Christmas for our machine greeting...I will never forget the song.
    
    In the tune of Deck the Halls:
    
    Deck the halls with bells of holly...falalalala lalalala
    If you called for us to party...falalalala...lalalala
    
    Leave your name and leave your number...falalalalalalala
    We'll call you back as soon as possible......fa la la la la la la la la laaaaaaaaa
    
    My room mate was playing the piano and I was ringing the bells.

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    Chloe Comfortposted 14 years ago

    I'm sorry but I love those messages where you think someone actually answered the phone and can't hear you. You get louder and the message keeps saying - "what? I can't hear you". Then you find out it's just a message on the amswering machine.
    
    LOL - ashamed to admit I've fallen for that more than once

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13. 59

    GeneriqueMediaposted 14 years ago

    My voice mails over the years would sometimes say..
    
    "Hello, you've reached GeneriqueMedia's voice mail. If you don't know what to do after the beep, I'd rather not know you."

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14. 0

    Pani Midnyte Odinposted 14 years ago

    My current one is: "Hello? Hello? Hellooo? ...Oh, I forgot. You're not talking to ME, you're talking to my answering machine! Well, you know what to do!"
    
    Too bad no one who calls me has a sense of humor. They tend to get a bit mad.

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