How to Stay Out of the Lets Just Be Friend's Zone

1. 69

   sportyfunsterposted 14 years ago

   Hey everyone
   
   Just wanted advice on this problem I am having as it seems like most of the women I meet want to the LJBF (Let's Just Be Friends). Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated on how I can get out of the friend's zone.
   
   Thanks

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   1. 0

      Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      i wish i knew what to say to you pal, as i myself have ALWAYS had that problem as well.  in fact, it seems like only gay guys even want me.  which sucks because for one, im not freaking gay, nor do i ever plan to be.
      
      here's one advice one guy told me once, but im a tad skeptical though as he used to often look at porn on his i-phone all the time.  lol.  however, he did have a successful marriage, and this is the advice he told me if your interested.
      
      Randy Said:  "you got to be a bad boy in order to get the ladies.  otherwise they don't  respect you, and they'll ALWAYS say lets just be friends.  women are often drawn more to bad asses."
      
      I don't know if that's true or not.  however, im starting to think it is though.  which completely goes against my principles as a person though. however,i hope that helps.

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      1. 0

         cosetteposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         
         
         he needs...Alias (note: contains some adult language)
         
         http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgsHV9FEJdU

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   2. 63

      Lisa HWposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I think most of women any guy meets will always be the "friends" type, because "that special person" isn't a dime a dozen.  Friends can be.    Maybe you need to narrow down your search.  Think "Google":  If you do a search for "women" can you imagine how much "wrong stuff" you'll come up with?  On the other hand, if you do a search like, "Woman interested in meeting a (your line of work here) for a relationship" you're more likely to meet women who don't want to just be friends.  I'm not suggesting you find your "dream girl" through Google, of course, but it's the same principle when you're searching in "real life".
      
      Go where women who may be interested in "someone like you" are more likely to be, rather than a less "narrowed down" pool of women.  If you're doing anything with your appearance that is at "high risk" of women not finding it appealing, re-think it.  (I'm thinking along the lines of something like a backwards baseball cap.     If you do anything along the lines of a backwards baseball cap, at least go to where women who are more likely to find it attractive hang out.  Don't look in a pool of women who may be looking for "the business man" or "the artist".    )   I'm not saying not to be yourself, by any means.  I'm saying be your best self. 
      
      That's all I got. 

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   3. 60

      ediggityposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      If you want to be more than friends sac up and treat her like a woman, not like a friend.  Invite her to a nice dinner, not KFC or a slice. If you can't afford to go out cook her something. Don't go out to party in groups, and try to "hang out" with her.  Lastly, if you feel the friends thing coming on be a man and tell her straight up.

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2. 0

   Stevennix2001posted 14 years ago

   however, if you want my opinion, though. i should tell you that, i don't agree with randy's advice even though I just said it.  Sure, I think that might be true for most women. However, before you can expect anyone in the world, then you have to learn to love yourself first. you see most women love a man with confidence about himself. if you can find that confidence, then  your sure to meet some girl that will want to be more than friends with you. thats my real opinion about it.  in fact, f*** randy and his crappy advice.  just be confident in yourself, and i bet you get a girl before any  stupid bad ass.  i guarantee.

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3. 63

   Lisa HWposted 14 years ago

   There are some women (the ones who don't have the right kind of self-respect, intelligence, or whatever else it takes to have better sense) who are attracted to "bad boys" - but that's not most women.  (I wrote a Hub, "Women, Nice Guys, and Jerks" (pondering this "phenomenon")
   
   I'm guessing "Randy" isn't interested in finding a girlfriend who has plenty of self-respect, intelligence, confidence, and high standards.  "Bad boys" and women who are "damaged goods" often find one another (and I'm guessing bad boys don't mind being with damaged goods anyway). 
   
   Believe it or not, women with healthy self-respect and women who know they don't have to settle for "bad boys" are not attracted to them.

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   1. 0

      Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      well actually randy is married and has a one year old kid. although he still  flirts with other girls though, even though he would  never cheat on his wife.  sure, he's a bit of  rebel at times, but i know he loves his wife too much.

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4. 63

   Lisa HWposted 14 years ago

   Then he's probably just thinking of the "best" kind of woman for his single friend to date, from his own, pre-married-days perspective. 

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      Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      eh probably. unfortunately, none of his advice ever helped me.  lol.  besides, im too much of a nice guy to ever try to be a bad ass. besides,i always feel bad just having to discipline my own dog, so i know i could never be a bad ass.  lol.
      
      sure, there's my alter ego king larry, but he's more of a character i play if anything.  similar to how heath ledger played the joker, in the dark knight, or how he played a gay guy in Brokeback mountain.  we all know heath wasn't a serial killing psychotic clown nor was he ever a gay man (as far as I Know), but he did act the parts though respectively.  which is essentially what king larry is.  im an actor playing to his character, and nothing more.  besides, it's kind of fun pretending to be a bad ass and loving violence.  considering im such a pacifist and nice guy in real life. it's fun.  lol.  sorry, i didn't mean to take over the thread.

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      1. 63

         Lisa HWposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Me neither.  Moving on - but good luck, sportyfunster.  (Keep in mind, too, that if you're young, there's a good chance your only problem is not having enough time to meet the right kind of person.  )

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5. 68

   ilmdamailyposted 14 years ago

   Craigslist?
   
   Although that might result in going from "let's just be friends" to "let's just be freaks" ;-)
   
   In all seriousness though, just be yourself mate. Don't try to make yourself into anything you aren't. It's ironic that most people spend thier lives trying to present an image of something they aren't, or feel they aren't, when in fact they never even figured out how to be themselves in the first place. Get comfortable in your own skin - if you can crack that nut, you'll be well ahead of the competition. Even if you can "catch" someone playing a particular role, it's not sustainable - and you'll both just end up being unhappy.
   
   Don't feel like you "need" someone - everything you need (respect, love, care) you need to be able to give yourself, before receiving it from someone else will mean anything.
   
   And at the end of the day, don't take the rejections to heart - after a while they make great stories to tell your friends over a beer :-)
   
   @Lisa: Love the google analogy - now we just need SEO for our love lives lol. Where can we find womeon without a "nofollow" attribute?

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6. 87

   Stacie Lposted 14 years ago

   there's nothing wrong with being friends...sometimes it develops into something better over time..
   at least women tell a man that...most men never tell a women he just wants to be friends...they just run away or stop taking her calls...
   

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