Empty Roads

1. 87

   Paragliderposted 15 years ago

   These are the empty roads with barren fields
   on either side. The fence is well maintained
   but forms no barrier. To cross it yields
   no bounty. No-one goes where nothing's gained.
   
   Here was a vineyard, planted with Grenache.
   Deep-rooted vines, they were the last to die.
   A painter caught them, green against the ash
   but lived to see them wither, by and by.
   
   Where no trees shade the ancient burial mound
   the winds that gleaned the topsoil from the stones
   whistle their idiot tunes, round and around,
   as if to call to dance the nameless bones.
   
   The days of grief, of mourning, all are done:
   how shall a sigh be heard, where none draws breath?
   The last war on mortality is won,
   for we are done with life, and done with death.
   
   We sojourned long as creatures of the soil,
   endured eternal rounds of death and birth,
   to end as gods, rewarded for our toil.
   Look! We have built the Moon upon the Earth.

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   1. 60

      mohitmisraposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Very meaningfull lines:)
      We sojourned long as creatures of the soil,
      endured eternal rounds of death and birth,
      to end as gods, rewarded for our toil.

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      1. 87

         Paragliderposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         Thanks Mohit - it must have been an accident

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         1. 60

            mohitmisraposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            no I see sparks of a nice poet in you.

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            1. 87

               Paragliderposted 15 years agoin reply to this

               touché 

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   2. 60

      Ben Bushposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Paraglider,
      
      I realize that poetry comes from within. I also realize that a person't poetry can come from various motivations and purposes. I also realize that much can be completely subjective for the reader. Sooooooo......
      
      I compliment you, on not just the bleakness referred to by an ealier reader, but its rather stark bleakness on at least a couple different levels. The bleakness seems to be enhanced by the limited nature of the reward emanating from the work.
      
      Could this just be the jaundiced view of an American always looking beyond and expecting more? Maybe. But I didn't think you would appreciate a hypocritical response.
      
      Once again, it paints a picture well.

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      1. 87

         Paragliderposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         Thanks Ben. The bleakness in this one is intentional. One of the thoughts I'm trying to put across is the destruction of the environment by actions of mankind, whether through war or just gross overproduction. Turning the Earth into the Moon (a dead rock) might be the limit of our attempt at playing god.

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   3. 0

      sandra rinckposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Eternal peace, everlasting rest.  It is making me sleepy.  Loved it!

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      1. 87

         Paragliderposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         Thanks Sandra - sleep well

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2. 58

   dishyumposted 15 years ago

   Good one, PG

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3. 54

   Shalini Kagalposted 15 years ago

   Hi Paraglider - I've read this one of yours earlier, thought it brilliant but just couldn't post a comment. You have such mastery over the words, the imagery, the pentametre and yet, a bleakness seeps through making it seem like an intrusion to comment about it.

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4. 87

   Paragliderposted 15 years ago

   Dishyum - thank you
   
   Shalini - Have I posted this here before? I didn't think I had, but I suppose it's possible. Thanks for the re-read (!) and comment. The problem with this one, that would make it unpublishable, is that the rhymes are a bit tired. I thought I'd give it an airing here to see if the material itself might trigger a discussion.

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   1. 87

      Marisa Wrightposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Goodness, if that's your definition of "tired rhymes"....I think it's a terrific poem.

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      1. 87

         Paragliderposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         Thanks Marisa. What I meant by that is that too many of the rhyme pairs have been overused elsewhere, in particular bones/stones and earth/birth. Publishers pick up on these things. But it doesn't bother me because I'm not writing for publication anyway. I placed it here because I thought the material itself might appeal to this group.

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5. 77

   Shadesbreathposted 15 years ago

   Yes, you did post this before, and it was awesome last time too.  One of the best last lines of all time, dude.

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   1. 87

      Paragliderposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Whoops - put it down to a senior moment then! I'd no recollection of doing it or I wouldn't have reposted.

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6. 67

   Make Moneyposted 15 years ago

   Paraglider this poem reminds me of a thread I posted in the political forum called the The age of wormwood.
   
   It reminds me of the dead zone around Chernobyl.
   
   Mike

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   1. 87

      Paragliderposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Good, because post nuclear desolation is the bleakness I was shooting for. Thanks

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7. 61

   maestrowhitposted 15 years ago

   This is great, man. It's hard to say anything else about it. Maybe once I think about it for a while, something noteworthy will arise in my mind. But at it is, I'm just enjoying it. Thanks!

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