Is someone mentally healthy that falls in love with a picture online?

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   moneyfairyposted 12 years ago

   I just recently saw a Dr. Phil episode where these woman fell in love with someone they had never met. Even went as far as saying they wanted to marry this person?? It turned out that it was another woman playing with all these other womans minds. Why would one give all thier personal info. to someone they had never met? They loved the picture of this supposed man and ultimately ended up falling for a picture of someone they had never physically met???
   Just curious of your opinions on this subject.

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      moneyfairyposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I personally think it is insanity to fall for someone you've never met. But that's online dating for you some people are just so desperate to find love that they'll go to any lengths to find it. Crazy!!!!  But there are some who have found thier significant other but I think it is a very rare occurance, half of the time the person doesn't even look remotely like thier profile , they are simply out thier trolling for dates. But that's just my humble opinion, curious about yours.

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      Sarra Garrettposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Moneyfairy:  I can see maybe infactuation like seeing a pic of a super sexy guy, but falling in love with someone based on a pic is just plain wierd and if these women are like this then no wonder they are on the Dr. Phil show.  I'm laughing over this.  If they are eating, sleeping and thinking about this photo of a person whom they will never meet they have a definate 'mental issue'.  It is impossible to truely fall in love with someone you have never met.  There has to be chemistry on both sides.  Jeez, I watch Maury (white trash TV) and shake my head at these idiots who air their dirty laundry on national TV.  Of course I laugh at that show too.  Hey, it's cheap entertainment.    ooooo the bad visuals....maybe I need some mental help 

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         moneyfairyposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         LOL!!!    Thank you Sarra for understanding why I think this was bizzare and these were supposed college graduates??? just strange.

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            gmwilliamsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            It is beyond bizarre........it borders on mental illness.

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               moneyfairyposted 12 years agoin reply to this

               Thank you gmwilliams for getting it and understanding why I think those women had some mental disorders and one even went so far as cutting herself because she was so upset that the person wouldn't meet up with her. I just don't get it???if the supposed man keeps making excuses why he can't meet up with you "Hello" doesn't that tell you something is wrong??? Crazy women???

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                  gmwilliamsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                  Reasoning decrees that a woman would meet and enter into a relationship before falling in love.  Hell, investigate the background of the man also- that is the wise thing to do.

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                     moneyfairyposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                     Ya think!!!! LOL !!! Thank you for being a voice of sanity and understanding where I am coming from!!!

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   psycheskinnerposted 12 years ago

   I am not sure what would be more questionable: falling in love based on a picture, or diagnosing mental illness based on a forum post describing a TV show.

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      moneyfairyposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Good point. But these woman did show up on psycholgical Dr.'s show that portrayed them as beautiful ,college educated woman that texted,talked to shared intimate photos  and ultimatley fell in love with someone they had never physically met. So to me that's a bit crazy, but that's just my humble opinion, thanks for your opinion.

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         psycheskinnerposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         So she didn't just see the picture, she also spoke and  corresponded with him?  I know plenty of stories of people who fell in love through talking and correspondence.

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   Aficionadaposted 12 years ago

   What about the old days when people met via classified ads? What about the old mail-order brides? 
   
   Being "in love" is often associated with a denial of reality, even when the people have seen each other ever since their first hours of conscious life. ("Love is blind.")
   
   So, does that mean that being "in love" itself is a mentally unhealthy state? - for the sake of argument or discussion.

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      moneyfairyposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      No I am not saying being "in love" is a mentally unhealthy state but falling in love with someone you have never physically met in person is a bit crazy.

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         Aficionadaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         No, I was the one who implied that being "in love" might be considered an unhealthy mental state. Maybe "off-balance" would be a more apt description.
         
         It seems to me that nearly everything that has been written as a warning about online relationships also applies when the couple know each other in person. A predator may groom their prey in person (think of bosses and subordinates; teachers and students; scoutmasters and scouts; priests and acolytes). If knowing someone in person conveyed the necessary wisdom, then why would so many women marry abusive men?
         
         I'm not trying to pretend that there are no dangers in meeting and having a relationship over the Internet. There are. But I don't believe that it is the Internet that is the problem. As Dame Scribe says, some people are just desperate for love. They can become victims anywhere at all.

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            moneyfairyposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            That is so true!

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   Dame Scribeposted 12 years ago

   I would think this is a favorite sort of game for a 'predator' preying on/for his victims it's practically the same methods. Locate and 'groom' the victim. It's sad because there are so many inexperienced, immature and yes, desperate people just ripe for a predator. I wouldn't say it's insane, just a pattern of the predator with prey

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      moneyfairyposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Dame Scribe, This is so true that it is a game for predators. It is very scary for the immature and desperate. I would want to meet and know someone in person before I formed any bond whatsoever. Even then there are predators that can groom one into thinking whatever they want to get whatever they want. One must use discretion if only for ones personal saftey.

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   prettydarkhorseposted 12 years ago

   If they can communicate well online, then if they fall in love, they can meet and they can both decide what they will do. Anything is possible these days, there are still nice people who are truly looking for love. It take sometime though in order for both to proceed!

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      moneyfairyposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Yes people can communicate and type anything they think that the other one wants to hear, the true test is to meet physically in person and talk face to face and then like you said proceed slowly but to just type or text or e-mail a virtual stranger is a bit nuts. How do you know what they are saying is the truth? They could be married and just trolling for lonely desperate woman. I'm just saying be careful and not so open and trusting till you actually meet the person.

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         psycheskinnerposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         I disagree.  Men will lie to your face just as readily.  You have to use common sense regardless of how you get to know them up to the point of being in love.  And you have to use common sense even after you are in love. Love and trust don't always come at the same time because one is mainly a feeling and the other is the harness your brain puts on your feelings to stop you from taking big risks.

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            moneyfairyposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            That is true that men can lie directly to your face too but then you can actually see and feel the person out as opposed to just words on a screen. I guess I am just trying to say that people in general should'nt be so trusting so fast and have thier hearts broken over something that could have been preventable. Be careful when taking risks of the heart, that's all I'm saying.

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               psycheskinnerposted 12 years agoin reply to this

               That I can agree on.  But I think that is different from suggesting mental illness. There is a difference between being reckless and having an actual diagnosable psychiatric disorder.

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                  Jean Bakulaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                  I think psycheskinner has brought up good points. What does it mean then when people who live in countries where there are still arranged marriages get together with someone, and make it work. Do you think they fall in love, or is it the social pressure to stay together that makes them stay married? I suppose you can come to appreciate someone once you have lived with them and shared significant experiences together. Also, many of these couples knew their marriages were arranged from the time they were children, so do know each other pretty well. My husband had a friend who was living in the U.S., but went home to Bangladesh to get married to the woman chosen to be his bride. He decided he didn't want to marry her, came back to the U.S. for a year or two, and disgraced his and her families. He ended up marrying a really nice woman I know, but I always wondered about the poor woman he said no to. I wonder if she would ever have been able to overcome the disgrace in a society with different rules.

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                  moneyfairyposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                  psycheskinner: I think you are correct. But you have to admit that it is a bit crazy to fall in love with a picture and typed words without ever actually meeting face to face right?
                  Jean Bakula: arranged marriages are a whole different ball of wax so to speak.....nothing whatsoever to do with online dating and giving a total stranger all your personal intimate details without ever meeting them.
                  In an arranged marriage the families have both met and know the people involved it's not as blind as never knowing the person or thier family. And some of them have known each others families for yrs.

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                     psycheskinnerposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                     No, i don't.  As I have said several times I don't think being able see someone is a magical test of trustworthiness and the only way to sanely love.  If it was, blind people could never fall in love.

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         prettydarkhorseposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         And even if you meet them, you should also get the time to know them. There are risks but there are also many risks in everyday life!

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            moneyfairyposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            That is so very true!!

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               Jean Bakulaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

               Arranged marriages are different, but sometimes the two people who are supposed to marry don't know each other well, even if their families have known each other. It can be just as blind as computer dating. In the example I gave, the man was living in the U.S. for quite a few years, and the "woman" he went back to supposedly marry was only a little girl when he left. It is different enough though. I guess when you meet the person online that you want to get to know better, you should meet in an open area where there are lots of people, or even bring along a friend and just have a drink or cup of coffee at the first meeting.

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                  moneyfairyposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                  That's right. See who you are dealing with first before you divuldge your whole life and heart to them.

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   tussinposted 12 years ago

   What about a picture that falls in love with a mentally ill person?

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      HattieMattieMaeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Well the problem is people have to get on voice...and meet them in person. Pictures can be changed. As well as voice changers can change a voice. Fortunately this happens a lot online.

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   ocbillposted 12 years ago

   I'd be very alert if I was ever around this type of person.It is strange and sounds like a movie plot.

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      moneyfairyposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      ocbill: Ya Think???? LOL LOL

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