What would you do if an old school bully turns up?
And starts causing /trying to cause problems again?
Bully is a dangerous behavior to any person. If an old school bully turns up trying to cause problems again after you think everything was over, remind him or her to stop. If he persist report him to the authority.
Do not take law into your hand no matter what you believe or the extend of the provocation. Taking law into your hand may cause more harm than good. It is not about you, therefore do not take it personal. It is not also about the person, do the right thing and stay ahead of the game. Have your plan to stay ahead and practice it many times. It is important to prepare for the action before it occur. Be familiar with potential bully behavior and keep your cool. Refuse to play the victim card and be brave.
Educate yourself about bully and why people suddenly become bully and enjoy bullying others. Education is key to understanding strange behavior or others.
Stay quite and refused to be upset. Don't allow your happiness to be in the hand of another. Ignore the bully and pretend not to hear him or her. Stay ahead mentally without taking laws into your hand.
Document the action by the bully and your reaction for legal purposes and witnesses. In some State bullying is illegal. But only the authority can take action against the perpetrator. Be smart. Attack him or her with silence but report incident to the authority always. Name your witness. Be consistent.
Oh my. What I would LIKE to do in this situation and what I know is RIGHT to do are two very different things.
I was bullied all the time in elementary and middle school. People pretty much left me alone in high school, but the damage had already been done. Those kids were so mean to my sisters and I.
Several of my former bullies have actually genuinely apologized to me. One even admitted that the reason he was so nasty to me was because he had a crush on me.
I suppose it depends on the bully. Generally, I think I would just revel in the success I created for myself WITHOUT torturing any hapless souls along the way.
I would act like I never knew them then they would seem crazy and would get embarrassed and stop. People who get off on bullying others have a huge self-esteem issue inside of them. They never felt good enough so to make others feel worse makes them feel some what better about themselves. I know someone who does this as she's 20 years old! She feels so bad about herself that in order to feel good she has to start drama and make people feel bad.
That would depend entirely upon the situation. If the bully is being physically threatening, then I would take legal action against the bully. We are adults, and thankfully, there are consequences for our actions.
If the bully is saying really hurtful things, that are not in a semi humorous tone, then I might ignore the bully completely, like he/she does not exist. Or I might say something rude back, like "Does it really still make you feel better about yourself to put others down? I thought you might have grown out of it by now!".
Some people don't know how to interact with other people without being rude. If that is the case for your bully, then I would use some playful banter to build rapport. Some people actually LIKE IT when you are rude to them! I don't understand it, but I even have some close friends that are like that. When I try to be sweet, or caring in any way, they get angry and mean. But when I am bantering with them, they look at me with adoration. It's totally bizarre!
It helps to know why someone does the things they do. But you don't have to have a complete understanding of what motivates someone in order to interact with them, or build rapport.
Try to think of interacting with the bully as an experiment. That will take away a lot of the personalization of the situation. You are the scientist, trying to figure out what makes this weird creature tick - what is it that you can do to make this creature behave differently? And then have fun with it! Just make sure that you don't get caught up in the fun of it and turn into a bully yourself...
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