What is the root of real confidence?
This question is inspired by a quote, "The self-confidence of the warrior is not the self-confidence of the average man. The average man seeks certainty in the eyes of the onlooker and calls that self-confidence. The warrior seeks impeccability in his own eyes and calls that humbleness. The average man is hooked to his fellow men, while the warrior is hooked only to infinity." - Carlos Castaneda (from Tales of Power)
A long time ago, someone told me that faith is "divine self-confidence." I know some have confidence in their skills or training. Are these distinctions important?
For me confidence means believing in myself in spite of being aware not only of my abilities but also of my shortcomings. It is the ability to recongnize what one is able and also not able to do and finding the purpose in life, to create something or to serve others....it is the realization that each of us is individual, unique in their own right and every one of us has something to give....
Confidence is rooted in the way we perceive ourselves. We need to picture ourselves as confident and capable people. Too often we try to root our confidence in the opinions of others and this behavior does not work.
I believe that confidence arises from a combination of faith and one's own experience, and not from the opinions of others.
Faith has many meanings, but, in Buddhism it is simply the willingness to try something out and discover the truth for oneself. So faith is the humble willingness to step into the unknown and discover the truth for ourselves - not that different from the attitude of the engineer or the scientist.
So we step into the unknown and have an experience. We survive. Now, we have learned that we can survive that experience. (As Albert Camus said, "Whatever doesn't kill me makes me stronger.") And we also experience death, such as the death of loved ones. And we learn that death does not destroy us, again, in our own experience.
Each time we learn that there is nothing to fear, neither in life nor in death, and that even fear is not a problem, we gain confidence. Faith makes the learning possible. Doing the action in awareness gives us the deeper confidence of experience.
The root of real confidence is knowing that God loves you no matter what.
If you believe in what you do and want without failing to go ahead in achieving your goals that shows real confidence
Confidence is rooted in experience and past accomplishments. True confidence is built yourself, it grows as your achievements grow.
I think it begins with a strong sense of self that is imparted by parents that make a child feel important and valued. When parents listen to their children, even their childhood ramblings, it gives them the confidence to know they are important and talented.
When you see interviews of heros, whether an astronaut or soldier, or anyone who excels, they almost always thank their parents for giving them the foundation and confidence to be exceptional.
I strongly believe in all aspects of life that confidence is born out of skill mastery. Be it faith, or anything else. The better a person can perform in the different areas of their lives the more confident he or she becomes.
I think the distinctions are important, too. To borrow from a poem by Rumi, I think real confidence comes from "the root of the root of the self", a sense of certainty grounded in an actual, achievable perception, while the average man's self-confidence can't really be rooted or achieved because it depends on a view of the world that has no origin in love. I think the root of real confidence is wholeness. No winning or losing matters, no 'salvation' or 'damnation' can touch us, we are really, unequivocally, unconditionally whole--no limits.
Confidence is your original, natural state. To return to it, just remove all illusions and false conditioning. It is our natural state of being.
To me, the root of self confidence is derived from this quotation,
"Without self-confidence we are as babes in the cradles. And how can we generate this imponderable quality, which is yet so invaluable most quickly? By thinking that other people are inferior to oneself.”
Virginia Woolf (1882–1941), British novelist. A Room Of One's Own, ch. 2 (1929).
In my mind, thinking that other people are inferior does not mean that I am looking down on them. Each one of us has our individual strengths and weaknesses and knowing these strengths and harnessing it, either individually or in a team could prove to be a successful combination.
Self-confidence also comes from practice, especially where public speaking is concerned as not all of us have the courage to go out and speak to a large crowd. It needs courage. This would apply in other skills, ie, practice doing what we love and improving on it gives us pleasure that we can easily achieve anything if we know we can!
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