How can I help someone get out of a (perceived) rut?
His girlfriend broke up with him, one of his room mates lost his job and moved out (leaving him to pay the bills), he doesn't like his job, and now he even thinks he hits every red light.
The only thing you can attempt to do is remind him that everyone goes through ups and downs in life. It's important to keep things in perspective. It's not the end of the world!
The only cure I know of for beating depression is taking (action). It doesn't even have to be something major to begin with. Sometimes just sitting down writing a plan or creating a strategy is all it takes. The first move a lot of folks take is they'll start working out. There is something about being in great shape that lifts one's overall spirits. The next thing to do is hang out with friends and family you enjoy socializing with. Put the word out that he is looking for a new roommate or plan to move into a smaller place. Another important key to happiness is you always have to have "something" to look forward to. Even if it's the release of a movie or some other event that's coming up. This keeps you from thinking everyday will be the same.
Anyone who is unhappy with their job and is not taking steps to find a better opportunity is (choosing) to be unhappy. When we change our circumstances change. Action eliminates depression.
"The world may not owe you anything but you owe yourself the world!" It's your life. Take the wheel!
I would send him something you you know inspires him: book, movie, CD, flowers and encourage to appreciate his life and who he has in it. (It's A Wonderful Life is a bit corny and maybe over the top but it might do the trick.) )
I get the thought that we do not mean animals when we speak about humans, still, the word 'rut' has its reference to the periodic excitement, and one may end up his or her 'big paw in the water' (after Steinbeck).
I mean, if you want to help someone out of the groove, it might be ok to think about collocations
Diner, nothing like a good meal and happy uplifting conversation to set ones soul into a good frame of mind. Tickets to a local sports event or something he really likes, a reminder there is a whole world out there and it's all good, red lights and all.
Breaking up is always tough, but just remember all the good times had. Forget the why one breaks up, all relationships have good times, then just take in the knowledge that and wonder if that relationship was good I cannot wait to see how great the relationship will be when I do meet he one, the forever mate.
Last, hitting red lights are great, they teach us who we are. To be calm, compassionate, to be level headed, to be cautious, to look around when stopped to see the great picture in life not just what is in front of you through the windshield. How to adapt overcome and adjust your life after it is time to push the gas pedal after the light turns green again. Who we are is defined by what we do when the light is green, not by the brief red light stop that we all have to endure at sometime.
Last piece of advise is hey this is Texas, wait 10 minutes and the weather will change.
Your friend will turn his plight around when one of two things happen:
1) He perceives himself at the very bottom of his pit, and therefore “knows” that the only way is up - and so he starts to become successful again.
2) He gets sick and tired enough of his situation so that he makes a decision (maybe unconsciously) to change his thinking to success. As they say ‘Success is only a decision away.’
You can help by reminding him that there have been some very successful people who have left some valuable words of wisdom for us such as:
“If you think you can or if you think you can’t, either way you are right” -Henry Ford
“You become what you think about most of the time.” -Earl Nightingale
“Whatever the mind of man can conceive and bring itself to believe, it can achieve.” -Napoleon Hill
If he has time to listen to a self-help audio course, this one is the very best and it’s free: http://www.mixcloud.com/yourwishisyourcommand/
Start with the "Serenity Prayer". Accepting things he cannot change is referring to people, places and things.His girlfriend, roommate, work environment and yes, even the traffic light are out of his control. Sometimes you feel like you are in a rut because things don't go the way you want them to. But anything outside of yourself, controls it's own destiny.
My plate is completely full with what I can control and that is me. He can sit down and take a personal inventory and sort out what he may actually be responsible for and when he may have just been at the wrong place at the wrong time.
He may be blaming himself for things that aren't his fault which , to him, makes that rut deeper. Or can make changes so his mistakes don't repeat themselves. But he has to keep moving forward. This too shall pass.
by bigmodo3 months ago
How can i make my girlfriend fall crazy in love with me and never want to leave me?How can i make my girlfriend fall crazy in love with me and never want to leave me? I lost my girlfriend some few months ago to another...
by Laurel Rogers6 years ago
I am the mother of an only child-a 23 year old son who lives less than a mile from my house. I am at a loss to express my disappointment with his behavior. He is a man full of incredible rage, particularly...
by Readmikenow2 years ago
Can You Help Someone Who Needs Your Help But Refuses When It's Offered?
by _ineed2Bprttyagn_7 years ago
Ive been with my boyfriend for about 3 years now. To fully understand my predicament you need to know the beginning. We started dating after he broke up with one of my ex best friends who is really a terrible person....
by cross-me-out5 years ago
In a nutshell, how do I get myself to want to turn my life around, and then do it?I pace the floor of this tiny place like a madman not having a clue of even what's going on in my head. I am the only person in my...
by Paul Wingert5 years ago
Last Saturday evening, My new girlfriend, myself, my dad, my niece and her husband were over at my parents house where my girlfriend and I were making everyone beef stew. This was the second time we made dinner for...
Copyright © 2018 HubPages Inc. and respective owners.
Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners.
HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc.
HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.