How do you control your ANGER? Any practical tips?

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   m abdullah javedposted 7 years ago

   How do you control your ANGER? Any practical tips?

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   mikeydcarroll67posted 7 years ago

   I usually try exercising or writing. These are very healthy outlets. Keep in mind anger in of itself is healthy to experience and feel, it is how you utilize it. If you utilize it to better yourself, then that is the way it should be.

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      m abdullah javedposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Hi mikey.... You are true anger in itself is a healthy one to experience and feel as long as it's for good. Thanks for the response. I like the means you have adopted.

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   Jewelsposted 7 years ago

   Put the force of the anger into a project that needs will.  But be careful not to have an accident!

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      m abdullah javedposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Ha ha... wonderful Jewels. Thanks for an interesting reply.

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   Austinstarposted 7 years ago

   There are four types of anger:
   1. Fly off the handle type - gets mad over small things, road rage is common, screams and shouts and may throw tantrums when angry, may lash out and hurt people, objects, and things.
   Handle 'Fly off the handle type' by avoiding them. Get out of their way. Leave the area immediately, hang up on them. These types need professional help to be able to control their anger.
   2. The controlling Anger type - These people use fake or controlled anger in order to intimidate and threaten. They are usually the type to surround themselves with "weak" people that they can harass.
   This person can usually control their anger but need some sort of outlet to get rid of their strong emotions. They need to learn meditation and yoga and how to count to ten before using their anger to get what they want.
   3. The person who hangs on to anger and keeps it inside of him/her. These people never appear to be angry, but eventually they will lash out at something or someone. They will "explode".
   The only help for the internal anger is to get rid of it in a productive way. Get mad at the appropriate thing that is causing the anger and correct the way you think of that thing. Learn to deal with life's problems instead of letting them make you angry.
   4. Inward directed anger. These people hate themselves. Depression is a huge symptom of internal anger. They often blame themselves for just about anything and everything.
   They need to learn how to express their feelings and realize that they are worthy of the life they live. If they have actually done bad things because of their inward anger, they need to make amends and learn to help people rather than resent them.
   Are you studying psychology now, Muhammad?

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      m abdullah javedposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Dear Austin thanks for an impressive response, you have rightly mentioned the types of anger along with beautiful elaboration. No Austin I'm not studying psychology as off now, just thought of asking that's it.

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   cathylynn99posted 7 years ago

   if you are in a situation that makes you want to respond in anger, excuse yourself and go for a walk. then come back refreshed and deal with the situation calmly. if you have a deep and troubling anger, write the offender a pointed letter and then tear it up and throw it away. go into your room alone and pound on a pillow or get in your car with all of the windows rolled up and scream (don't do it for too long or you'll lose your voice). never allow yourself to use anger to hurt yourself or others.

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      m abdullah javedposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      cathylynn your lovely answer brought smile on my face. Thank you so much.

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   Buildrepsposted 7 years ago

   Anger is in fact the inability of the ego to get control over a certain situation. You could try to train the ego to get more control over a situation, but that will make the situation only worse over time. The ego will grow, as the challenges it has to endure.
   
   The best way is to understand how the inner world actually works, and that the ego is just a little self that should learn to listen to its master, the soul.
   
   Most people have many 'voices' in their head (the movie Inside Out is a great way to get more understanding of that inner world). These voices are in most cases the cause of emotions, and also anger.
   
   The only voice anyone should listen to is the most silent voice, that of the soul, the intuition. But for that the other voices have to shut their mouth. The best way to achieve that is by meditation.
   
   That is the best proven way to get control over all emotions. You will learn to increase the response time between impulse & response. Which leads in many cases in no response at all.

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      m abdullah javedposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks Buildreps for the wonderful insight, the psychological and spiritual aspects have been nicely dealt here. But what do you say of anger that's out of one's love or that comes coz of rights violations?

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      Buildrepsposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I'm not sure I understand the question well enough, but as far as I can say is that anger i.c.w. love seems to points to old wounds that are ripped open again. Old wounds make the ego grow and more active. The wounds have to be healed first.

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      m abdullah javedposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      That's fine Buildreps but what about the anger we express over an act which is cruel and inhuman?

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      Buildrepsposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Many acts of anger can be debatable, because they often result from moral values. Moral values are not the highest values. I suppose that the rule: "Do not do to others what you do not want done to yourself", is the most practical one.

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      m abdullah javedposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      that's interesting Buildreps, but certain moral values are universal, like oppression, exploitation, deception,,,,what do you say for the anger caused  by these?

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      Buildrepsposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Will anger and other emotions bring salvation in these cases? Or will a skilful organized act do better? All unthinking actions that come from anger won't bring you anywhere. Skills, organization, discipline, reason, intuition are your best chances.

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   tajooposted 7 years ago

   I have heard that to control anger you may change your current position, like if you're sitting; stand up. Secondly, change your thoughts. Drink water, and make yourself busy with something else.
   I usually stay quiet and leave the place where there is a cause of anger. I change my thinking towards something positive and better for me, since I know thinking negative won't be healthy for my own self.
   Meditation and prayer is also an excellent way to control anger.

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      m abdullah javedposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Yeah what you have heard is true and that's the sayings of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), and your strategy for anger control is quite effective. Thanks for the response tajoo.

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