Are you self-conscious when people watch you perform certain tasks?

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   Billie Kelpinposted 8 years ago

   Are you self-conscious when people watch you perform certain tasks?
   
   What tasks are you self-conscious about doing in front of others?  As a left-handed person, I don't like people watching when I do tasks in the kitchen or other physical tasks that I approach differently than other people.  But I am certain that there are right-handed people who are self-conscious when other people are watching them.  I noticed a man who was trying to pull his 5th wheel RV into a spot who simply was getting in a worse and worse position as others gathered around to guide him in.  If you are self-conscious when people watch you, where do you think that feeling originated.

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   Rochelle Frankposted 8 years ago

   I think it comes from the fact that most people care too much about what others think about them, and the fear of feeling foolish if they make a mistake.

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      Billie Kelpinposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      My mother used to say "We wouldn't care so much about what other people thought about us if we realized how little they do

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      WordCrafter09posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I'm generally a very confident person  "inside" .  One situation  where I am self-conscious is sometimes it's  a case of a REALLY bad "hair moment" (not day) (My hair is more prone to those some people's hair is.  Chopping it off is not me, though.

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   lions44posted 8 years ago

   Whenever I tee off for a round of gold. That first drive with everyone watching makes me jittery.

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      Billie Kelpinposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Hey CJ, thanks so much.  If I ever watch you golf, I promise I'll never watch on the first drive

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      Johnny James Aposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      LOL, I know how you feel CJ.  Although, when I golf it is other people who should be conscious of where i am.  Let's just say the word "Fore" is a popular word on the course when I play.

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      Billie Kelpinposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      James, Cute !!!

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   WordCrafter09posted 8 years ago

   Before I'd assume the man was self-conscious because of the other people, I'd think it may more have been a matter of their all "throwing in their two cents" when, if left alone, he had his own way/plan for dealing with the predicament. 
   
   A personal example I can think of is a few years ago when I still had some leftover leg injury, and family members/a friend thought they were being helpful when the time came for them all to take their respective food/groceries/leftovers home from a holiday get-together.  I know they didn't want to "sit like lumps" as I got their different bags/plates of stuff to take home.  I know, too, that a couple of them were worried that I'd forget something.  My kids are grown, so temporary storing/sending back home with them is a regular thing (and "system" I have with food coming and going.)
   
   I share the refrigerator with a family member, so there's limited space.  It was a holiday, so there was holiday food from different people.  Then a couple of people had their personal groceries in there because they required refrigeration.  With the fairly regular comings and goings and one or another thing (food or something else) being sent back to one or another person's house (holidays or otherwise), there are sometimes when someone does forget something, or when I forget to get something here or there (refrigerator or from somewhere else).
   
   With such a small get together and so few people (and the ones involved) I wouldn't have forgotten anything that night, but when time came for them to leave there were four people in my small kitchen, standing around.  Three of them were hovering and reminding me about their stuff (and as I got mildly flustered I started getting tips on what I should be doing with packaging things up, etc.).
   
   None of these people are people I'm self-conscious around.  They're close.  It was that none of them understood what was taking me more time than understood about.
   
   Point is, a bunch of "helpful" people "on your back", telling you what they had, how to package it, where it is, etc. etc. can be flustering.
   
   The main point here is a) people need to be careful not to mix up "self-conscious" with "flustered" (or even "secretly kind of fuming"); but b) in reply to question about "self-conscious", no.  While I have my things that make me self-conscious, that's not one of them.  I don't assume people are paying that much attention.  I won't do housework with people around because they're in the way or vice versa.

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      Billie Kelpinposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Good catch. I was going to write "upset" or "nervous" or "embarrassed" for the question, but "flustered would be a much better word.  I had to laugh at the scene you painted.  Those of us with small families couldn't handle all that.  You're a saint!

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      WordCrafter09posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Thx.  I HAVE a small family!  It's just that I also have a very small "imaginary-space bubble" and pretty much zero need for guidance when it comes to my own "system" of doing things within the context of my individual circumstances. 

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      Billie Kelpinposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      ME Whelan, I hear you!

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   MizBejabbersposted 8 years ago

   Ah, the kitchen. I try to stay out of there because my husband is our chief cook. He's been retired for a few years now and I still work outside the home. Self-consicious isn't even the word for it! Gun-shy is a better description. I get flustered, frustrated, and fuming whenever I go into the kitchen. Nothing I do is right, even if it's just fixing myself a sandwich!
   He goes, "No wonder my knives are always dull, don't chop! Pull it through the cucumber like this". Then he takes the knife out of my hand and shows me for the eleventy-'leventh time how he does it. Never matter that he's 6' tall, I'm 5' tall and the cabinets are 3' tall and there's no way I can achieve the same angle.
   I can't go into the kitchen without him following me in there and getting in my way. I can go to try out a new recipe. he comes in and wants to beat the eggs or pour in the sugar, or brown the meat, or whatever. I don't even try anymore. I usually throw up my hands in resignation and let him take over. Then when he says "that recipe isn't any good, " I find out that he's left out a key ingredient or put it together in the wrong order. Screech!
   At work there is nothing that I'm self conscious about because I'm a trainer, and it is "do as I say and do as I do." However, I get a little self-conscious if I go to a meeting and strangers staring at me if I enter the room among the last. Perhaps I should be self-conscious because I'm not one of the first.

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      Billie Kelpinposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      MB, an idea that worked for me.  The next time you walk into a meeting think to yourself, "I'm an AUTHOR. Hundreds of people read my work and even though training is what you do, this "secret" will make your whole body take on an air of confidence.

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      MizBejabbersposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks, Billie. The politics used to be so bad where I work, that everybody tries to shrink themselves to an inch tall just to get by the jerks. The atmosphere is changing and I think we can all be more confident now.

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