Barely Surviving...

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  1. profile image52
    singlemother2posted 13 years ago

    This world is a nasty one....it's really hard to live a typical day. it's really hard to stay upbeat! It's also very hard to stay happy for the sake of you child...all he's trying to do, is learn from US! But when the Gov't and society let us down...it's hard to keep that up-beat spirit that's suppose to keep us going....I'm open to anyone in my same situation...

    1. wildorangeflower profile image61
      wildorangeflowerposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      you can help yourself, and things always get better! Don't ever lose hope and try to analyze, deconstruct your options and analyze why you are into that situation and act on it. As long as you are breathing there is hope,

      1. richtwf profile image59
        richtwfposted 13 years agoin reply to this

        Absolutely agree and well said WOF.

        It's very easy to develop that sense of hopelessness when the going gets tough but you have to turn your experience to your advantage and use it to make you grow stronger.

        Forget the government, you can't control that, but you can make choices about what you do which can make your life better. You can only do that if you have the right attitude, start believing in your own ability to change your life and then taking the courage to take the first step towards changing your life and your family's.

        A journey of a 1000 miles starts with a single step. Lao-Tzu

        Each small step you take whether that's a small task that you achieve and do well and makes you feel good - is one step closer to a better life. Ask of yourself 3% each day and then with each passing day ask for a little bit more and slowly build yourself up and the rest will be in the hands of providence but you've got to set a path for yourself to take and then your life will change for the better.

        Change your thinking and you can change your life. Believe and be brave!

    2. profile image0
      Lecieposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      i was in the same boat you are right now and i guess it could be said that i still am. the difference is, i found a way to stay up beat. when ever the bad over whelm you like it did for me, my advice is to look for something good. i have made a new friend that's been spending a lot of time with me. so instead of sitting around worrying about my problems i focus on what my friend and i will do next. i want so much to provide happiness for this friend that i never talk about my problems and keep my mind focused on the fun we're having. maybe you should use your children in that way too, if they're in school focus on how smart they are and how you can help advance them even farther by using fun little exercises. i'm sure you can come up with something. wink

    3. Lisa Petrarca profile image60
      Lisa Petrarcaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I was a single mother of three for years. I know that sometimes things get very difficult & it seems like they will never get better. However, I'm living proof that with faith & trust in God, he will carry you through!

      I wrote a hub called, "God Can you Hear Me," please stop by and read it.

    4. nikki1 profile image61
      nikki1posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      smile think better thoughts. Life is what you make of it.
      Create happiness for your son and yourself. Change
      your surroundings. Write to Gov. and suggest your
      ideas on your version on happiness. Here is a hug.
      Spread it around, now wink.
      Motivational music also helps toooooo wink.
      Smiles to all wink

    5. profile image50
      amberdragonposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      i live in the us...... tho... i was depressed and suisidal at age 5. the us isnt that great. its just onother countly. it may seem great but thats only becaue the tv shows the great things. im still depressed now and its getting worce... tho it gets better if i lisen to music, if i write sotorys and if i do well in things.

  2. IntimatEvolution profile image68
    IntimatEvolutionposted 13 years ago

    I'm so far from you situation.  May I say, your attitude towards these things borders along with self pity.  Why don't you try to change the things in your life, that are hurting you so bad.  If you don't like this country, you are free to move.  If you want something better for yourself and child, you are free to work hard and achieve that better life.

    I've been down and out like you have.  However, I also used my tools to get myself off my pity pot, and actually do something about it.

    Get help.  That is the best advice I can offer.

    1. profile image0
      kimberlyslyricsposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Intimate doesn't speak cheek.  Take her advice.  Just trust me on this one.  Good Luck!  smile

  3. Tamar_Georgina profile image60
    Tamar_Georginaposted 13 years ago

    This world is a cruel one and we cannot help the situations we are born into. Its also not easy picking yourself up when you are down. Its very easy for those who have done it or had it handed to them to say come on get yourself sorted and give your head a shake, but its having the will power and the determination to fight.
    The government and society are not interested until it affects them and its some how making their lives difficult. You become a statistic or a number and personally im tired of being on the wrong end of it all.
    Sorry.. im feeling pretty low at the moment.

  4. alternate poet profile image67
    alternate poetposted 13 years ago

    I got really down at one period, I found myself thinking about making a will etc etc, not deliberately, just that I felt life was getting nearly over.  I quit everything and moved to China, new life, new wife next year maybe.  If you have a child to consider it is not as easy, but the principle is the same, try new things and new ways of living; money really is not everything unless it is impossibly too little then you should get help.

    Stay on here and chat in the forums, most of the people here are positive and upbeat and good to be around - except me of course - because I am the sarcasm expert big_smile

    1. profile image0
      Home Girlposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      You cannot expect that somebody will come and help you, you have to do it yourself. "If you need help, look for it at the palm of your hand." You and only you know better.
      What you need and what you want, what you can and cannot do. Just don't give up. This world is not nasty, it is beautiful no matter what. Just open your eyes and you'll see it. Health and freedom, that's all you need.  The rest will come and go. As it always does.

  5. profile image53
    amat23posted 13 years ago

    Dear friend,

    Home girl is right! Unfortunately nobody can help you. You are the only one that can fix the situation, I experience this myself. You can read my hub "I thought my days were counted" from there you can see that I was and im still alone fighting against depression. All the best.

  6. Cailin Gallagher profile image68
    Cailin Gallagherposted 13 years ago

    I can relate to your situation.  Live one day at a time.  Try not to get overwhelmed in the details.  Find friends that you can trust.  Love your child.  Love yourself.

  7. Disturbia profile image61
    Disturbiaposted 13 years ago

    Anything can be turned around, you just have to really, really want to do it and put in the work that's required.  If you're just sitting around pissing and moaning about how miserable your life is, that's not going to do it.  I've been pretty miserable myself and the only reason my life turned around is because I took control and did what I needed to do to make it happen.  You can too.  Good luck to you.

  8. profile image0
    Car Donationsposted 13 years ago

    well stay strong. Life is not perfect. But being around friends and loved ones is the only thing that can make life better. Keep your chin up!

  9. flread45 profile image59
    flread45posted 13 years ago

    The best way to help yourself in this world is Education....
    It is free right now and all you need to do is apply yourself...

  10. joshuachlim profile image60
    joshuachlimposted 13 years ago

    i like what Cailin, Disturbia n Tamar said.
    it's true that finally we have to help ourselves,
    but initialy it's hard.
    because we so used to our old ways n change is hard.
    pride hinders. the first step is learn to be humble.
    mayb go on your knees n pray
    admit u can't handle everything on your own.
    nothing wrong to pray. because i believe in good angels.
    for me they are real.
    they normally come to those who are humble n are crying out.
    never give up. as long as u can breathe there is hope.
    believe in the impossibles.
    sometimes life gets tough and we ask 'why are we born?'
    and sometimes we blame God for bad things that happened to us.
    But know that everything happens for a reason
    and that God's plan is to prosper us and not to harm us. (Jeremiah 29:11)

    Men can never be trusted but we can always trust in God.
    Sometimes when we feel that our lives are in such a mess and we feel like losers,
    God wants you to know that you can cling onto Him.
    You might not be soaring at this stage,
    but just by clinging onto him, it's more than enough.
    Dwell in His embrace and be drown in His love.
    Cling onto Him till you are strong enough to stand up again.
    Even if you fall again, God is there to stretch out his arms of love and pick you up.

    That's our Abba Daddy. He is our loving Father.
    So turn back to him,n tell Him how you feel; tell Him what you think of Him,
    all that you blame Him for, all about life that you really hate, what your worries are...
    just throw them all out to Him. Only just be honest with God
    Because obviously, He is God,
    just throw all your burden at Him and empty yourself,
    n feel the weight on your shoulders disappear
    because all the hatred, hurts, worries, bitterness are not yours to bear.
    Jesus had already died for them on the cross so that we might be set free,
    free from all these bondage and chains that bound us.

    or when you feel like it's the end of the world, or when you're down in the pit,
    just return to basics,
    just turn back to God's arms,
    return to His love.
    He loves you princess. You r precious.

  11. joshuachlim profile image60
    joshuachlimposted 13 years ago

    Men can never replace God’s love.
    God has created us to live as one race in harmony,
    but the prince of this world, that is Satan,
    is going all way out to destroy God’s plan for us.

    God is light and love.
    But Satan’s purpose is to kill, steal and destroy,
    and by living a life that is not pleasing to God
    we are indirectly pleasing Satan.
    We can only serve one master;
    we have to choose between good and evil, right and wrong.

    God is graceful and merciful.
    He always seeks out for us and wishes the best for us.
    But most times it’s the choices that we make that lead to our consequences today.

    God forgives every time we repent,
    but He also wishes that it is real repentance,
    and that we stay by our words.

    God knows that we are weak and that we would stumble,
    and that’s why He gave us the Holy Spirit to guide us and to link us to Him.
    When you communicate with your creator, the alpha and the omega,
    you shall see your path straightened.
    You will never feel lost and out of place or lonely again,
    for you know that there is someone up there overlooking you.

    Therefore find rest and peace in God
    He is the only answer to your troubles and circumstances.

    The light is there but we don’t see it because we are blind.
    But you can see through our hearts,
    and feel the presence of God around you;
    and feel His love too.
    But unless we have the desire and passion we won’t get it.
    Everyone of is imperfect but God is flawless and perfect.
    And we are made righteous through Him so we can be like Him.
    All it requires is great faith.
    Faith can move mountains.
    The clock is ticking and time flies
    So capture the moment and make it a fresh start
    To love is to care for others
    as God cares for us.
    The world around us is full of evil
    n to find true love nowadays
    is a very hard thing to do
    because men n women alike
    all have become so selfish
    n so very self-centered.
    All they want is the best for themselves.
    They think only of themselves
    (so very careful...not to be disappointed)
    But there's still hope in God.
    He alone is FAITHFUL n TRUTHFUL.
    You can safely lean on HIM
    in EVERYTHING
    because He's always there
    to help you in your times of your needs.
    Come to Him.
    Everything that has happened in your life
    is the results of the choices you had made.
    Even when bad things happened,
    it's also your choices you choose to response
    how you choose to face them.
    Just know that you are not alone
    n nothing is impossible with God.
    Everyday is a new day.
    Just receive it with an open heart
    n a positive mindset.

  12. CMHypno profile image83
    CMHypnoposted 13 years ago

    Write some hubs about your situation - very cathartic and you might make some money as well.

    Take advantage of what is on offer in your local area - is there free counselling available, any free child care, free courses to improve your skills, or free social events where you can meet people?

    Railing against the unfairness of it all isn't going to change anything for you, but positive action is.  Write down a list of things you want to do, and try to do one every day (they don't have to be big things, maybe going for a walk in the park, joining the library). Its hard, but it is the only way.

    Hanging out with other people who are feeling negative won't help you at all, so try not to indulge in pity parties - they will only bring you down further.

  13. joshuachlim profile image60
    joshuachlimposted 13 years ago

    What's important in life is who we really are,
    and what we place our beliefs in.
    We'll lose everything around us one day.

    Friends come and friends go;
    our loved ones will one day leave us.
    We can't bring what we own now on this earth to heaven.
    But there's one thing that remains eternally,
    and that is, our souls.

    This life on earth is hard and very complicated,
    but if God were to hold your hand through every second of your life,
    you would see everything in a different perspective.
    Things will still be hard and not smooth going,
    but you would never feel lost again.

    It's like a child being guided by the father,
    and feels so protected.
    Go to the Lord,
    and you will find comfort there.
    He'll never let His children be forsaken

  14. joshuachlim profile image60
    joshuachlimposted 13 years ago

    naked we come into this world,
    naked we'll go.
    life has a purpose.
    unless u walk in the plan
    God has for u
    u cannot find true fulfillment
    or true happiness

    He's a God who knows what's best for you.
    if u would begin to discover His plan for you,
    and start walking in it,
    u would see things getting into place.

  15. nikki1 profile image61
    nikki1posted 13 years ago

    We are root'n for ya. Change your life. Join your local
    church. You'll be glad you did. Ask your son to go with
    you.

  16. h.a.borcich profile image60
    h.a.borcichposted 13 years ago

    I was a single parent and I know it isn't easy. My best advice is:

    Keep the distance short between what you expect and what you get. The smaller it is the best odds to be happy.

    Every day when you get to bed, write down 3 different things you are grteful for. Within 3 weeks your attitude will be healthy sand you'll be watching for the joys.

    Volunteer. Take the focus off of what is wrong in your life and help someone else with their lot. It made my problems smaller and managable.

    Forget about the old dream of how you wanted life to be. It is time to find joy in the journey anew.

    Reach out like you did on the forum. We stand knee deep in a river of people everyday, and too masny still drownd of lonliness.

    Email if you want - I can be a friend smile

  17. schoolgirlforreal profile image78
    schoolgirlforrealposted 13 years ago

    I am too. But I keep trying to make $
    Have some positive things in your life:

    good friends

    hope/prayer/

    journal

    make goals

    enjoy the simple things: hot bath, your child's company in the park

    These are just a few suggestions I thought of, hope they help.  Don't give up smile

  18. profile image0
    lambservantposted 13 years ago

    I am sorry for your struggles. Being a single mom is hard and lonely and thankless. But so are many things, so don't feel you are alone. And I believe very much what wildorangeflower said, "As long as you are breathing there is hope." There is no such thing as no hope because there is a God who loves you and is greater than any problem we have. I do not mean to sound flippant like you turn a swithch raise you hands and sing kumbaya. But I have been at the bottom never imagaining there was hope, But I found it in Christ and it's working for me quite well. It can work for you.

    I think what intimate said was right on the money. I know you hurt, we all are hurting in some way at some time, but pity will take you down deeper and faster. When I feel hopeless, and start down the road of self pity, I have someone in my life who reminds me to sit down and make a gratitude list. I heard one gal say to her once, I don't have anything to be thankful for. I hate my life and there is nothing I am happy about. My friends said, "hmm, looks like your wearing shoes today. How would it feel to not have any shoes? Tell God your thankful for your shoes." I dont' say that to minimize your pain, because I know just where you are at. I almost ended my life a few times. I am just saying, start with the small things if you are finding it hard to come up with things to be thankful for. You woke up today and so did your son. Thank God with all your heart, and then do as intimate says and work at making a better life for yourself. I don't mean become a rich business woman, but there are things you can do to make a better quality life, and it starts with the little things. If you don't have any money to go somewhere, go for a walk with your son. Just put one foot forward and start with a baby step. Things will go wrong still, because that is life, but just take a deep breath and decide if you are going to let this setback take you to despair again. It uses tremendous energy I have found to try to change things that are not in your power to change. Ask God for strength, gratitude,and creativity to make life better. God bless you. I will be praying for you.

  19. Lisa HW profile image63
    Lisa HWposted 13 years ago

    A lot of mothers find that no matter how tough times may be, it is having their child/ren that keeps from ever sinking too far into "the depths of depression".

    I think you have your HubPages account here, but you have no writing.  There's lots of information on HubPages about how to write Hubs, and there are people who will answer any questions you have in the forums here.  Posting one picture "for venting" isn't going to help you in the struggles you say you're having.  Not too many people are going to be bothered "venting" on your single-picture Hub.  They'd rather vent on their Hubs and hope to earn a little money for themselves.  (But, by the way, "venting" is considered "purely personal content", which isn't what HubPages encourages either.)

    1. dianasero profile image56
      dianaseroposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don't give up.

  20. earnestshub profile image82
    earnestshubposted 13 years ago

    I learnt something when in my 40's that may be useful to a young woman.
    Wait. Just wait without love or hope, because both love and hope are in the waiting. smile An idea that originated from a poem by T.S.Eliot.


    You will sail through if you can stop trying for a bit and just share love with your child.

    Children have all the wisdom of the world, listen for it.

    My best wishes to you and yours. smile smile

  21. mrtahiki profile image58
    mrtahikiposted 13 years ago

    pray to buddha and your dreams come true my friend USA!!!

    1. profile image50
      amberdragonposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      the usa... destroyed my life .......

 
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