When You Lose What You Love.- Who do you blame?

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   adeyeraposted 14 years ago

   Last month, a friend mine was killed by arm robbers. He has three children. The news of his death was a surprise to me because he happened to be the nicest person I have ever met. I cried for two days asking God why he had to die like that.Do you think it is right to blame God for his death?

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      pisean282311posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      first of all i am sorry for your loss...coming to your question..i dont think god has anything to do with positive or negative happening in the world..if you view nature closely..perception of how god is being viewed would change for better...auto system runs on earth and what ever good or bad occurs is consequence of actions of human or nature....in this case arm robbers actions caused death of your friend which is sad..really sad...but that can happen to any one in the world...

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      EatLovePrayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Sorry for your loss. Birth and death is the balance of nature...

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         library25posted 13 years agoin reply to this

         don't ever say that to someone who has lost a child!

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   rebekahELLEposted 14 years ago

   sorry to hear about your friend..
   
   I don't think it's right to blame anyone or anything.
   We live our lives and circumstances beyond our control happen. It's very hard to accept death at any time, especially as it happened to your friend. maybe it's better if we don't ask the questions.. I know your feeling and have experienced those agonizing 'whys'.  remember his life and help to make it easier for his children. his memory lives in those who love him. take care, adeyera.

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   joaniembposted 14 years ago

   I do not think you should blame God. It is very sad how your friend died and I am sorry for your loss.
   This was not something someone could have prevented from happening. Your friend was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
   It makes me think of 9/11 and all those lives lost, they had no idea what was in store for them that day neither did your friend.
   Again I am sorry for your loss. Crying is great therapy for you.
   Remember his life and what a great person he was and in time you will heal.

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   Disturbiaposted 14 years ago

   No, I don't think it's right to blame God, besides blame is pointless and a waste of time.  Things happen, both good and bad in people's lives.  Vent your anger and your sadness, because you will surely feel angry and sad.  Work through your emotions however you have to and then put them behind you and move on.  You will always have the good memories of your friend. Sorry for your loss.

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   Daniel Carterposted 14 years ago

   I've gone through huge losses of loved ones and material possessions. I've learned that placing blame only makes me a victim, and as long as I'm a victim, I don't have to take responsibility for my life and make it better. Because victims need someone else to make it better for them.
   
   I'm so very sorry for the loss of your friend. It's healthy and good for you to grieve his loss, as difficult as it can be. But after the anger an bitterness wear off a little, I hope you'll be able to focus on the good things he brought to your life and the life of others. Those really become the important things in the end.
   
   Whoever killed this man has so much negative energy around him that I think he'll have to live with that the rest of his life. He probably has no idea the profound effect for bad he has created for himself. It's best not to spend time hating the murderer. It's a waste when you could focus on the good of your life and the life of your friend.
   
   Take care. Be gentle with yourself. This is a rough time, but it does pass.

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      sofsposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Sorry for your loss, blaming God  for what some evil men did would be unjust. I do understand that  you are in the process of grieving and everyone goes through  this. You will emerge stronger when you act positively by helping the family or being with them.. blaming is only focusing your attention negatively.
      Take care .. and God bless.

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      Home Girlposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Untimely senseless death. What could be worse?  I hope these bandits will get what they deserve. Be strong.

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   adeyeraposted 14 years ago

   Thanks, I agree with you all. One should not blame God.My prayer is that God will continue to preserve our going out and coming in.

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   dpinoy13posted 13 years ago

   God is not to blame...
   he does not make things happen
   like jesus` death he gave Judas and the others FREE WILL
   no one is to blame here
   
   i`m sorry about your friend

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   Lisa HWposted 13 years ago

   Sorry to know of your loss.  Whenever I've lost someone there (fortunately) hasn't really been a person(s) to blame, so there's that.  Although, a drunk and speeding driver killed my friend; and in that case, I blamed the drunk driver.  Whenever I've lost something important, though, if there's someone who IS to blame I'll put the blame directly on whoever it is that caused it.  Nobody else.
   
   I'd have to disagree with the person who said that birth and death is the balance of Nature.  Birth and death from natural causes are the balance of Nature.  Unnecessary death caused by careless, cruelty, and crime aren't part of Nature.  That's one reason I think people shouldn't blame God for it either.

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   Happyboomernurseposted 13 years ago

   My heart goes out to you at the magnitude of your loss and the loss to your friend's family. I see things differently than some of the other posts because in my nurse's training I learned that feeling anger at self, others or even God is one of the stages of grief that most people experience before they're able to heal. Be gentle with yourself and if you used to be able to pray to God before your friend's tragic death, keep praying now even if you're still feeling angry. Some people in your situation find it helpful to join a support group of others who have lost loved ones through crime and murder, as this type of death is different from dying of natural causes.

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    Mighty Momposted 13 years ago

    Very sorry to hear of your friend's death. And sorry for his family as well.
    I think it's human nature to try to understand WHY.
    Why did this good man have to die so young?
    Why would robbers pick him?
    Why would God "allow" it to happen?
    
    But as Happyboomernurse said, your reaction is a stage of grief.
    Ultimately, your grief will get you through the other stages and to a place of acceptance.
    We don't have to like the outcome to be accepting of it.
    
    One thought to keep in mind: There are no mistakes in God's world. God had a plan for your friend which is not the plan we would have wanted for him. There is no point in asking "Why him?" and "Why now?"
    It is what is.
    
    I hope you are able to be a comfort to your friend's children.
    God bless. MM

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    fucsiaposted 13 years ago

    You can not blame anyone. If you are looking for a meaning to his death you can not find now. Probably there is a sense, also if you can not see it. We are small in front of the entire World, the entire life. But the world and life are us, our history makes the universal history . Everything has a definite place and I believe that nothing happens by chance, although we can not understand.
    This can not make you suffer less. I am sorry, a few words can never erase what was. Nothing can do it.

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    foreignpressposted 13 years ago

    God is interested in everlasting life. What happens day to day is of our own doing -- not His. Focus now on the children.

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