My Dog Has Died and I'm Inconsolable

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   Aneegmaposted 9 years ago

   My beloved Golden Retriever, Rudolph died last week thanks to a stupid drunken driver. We were enjoying our usual evening walkies then this smug of an idiot had stolen a car and was being pursued by police decided to crashed through the park and lost control of the vehicle and had it not been for Rudolph, he would have smashed me.  For this whole week I have been unable to do literally anything. I can't stop crying and any time I see a dog I just burst into more tears.
   
   Rudolph was my best friend, my son, my everything. I met him 12 years ago when he was just a three day old pup. His mother abandoned him after she sat and crushed on him and broke both his back paws so he couldn't walk. They were going to put him down then but I decided to take him and nurse him. After two years of receiving good pet care, he was finally able to run around and play and do all the things dogs do. Now I can't face waking up another morning knowing RuRu (that's what I called him) will not be there to lick my face and jump on my bed to demand his breakfast. Who is going to go walkies with me? Who is going to sit at my feet when I'm reading or hubbing? Who is going to be always happy to see me? Who is going to bark and scare off guys that come to my house to chat with me? Oh my RuRu I don't know what to do without you.
   
   Is this normal? I feel like part of me has died and I feel like my world has ended. Ruru was my first and only dog and to me he was more than a dog. I am actually more sad of RuRu's passing than my aunt who died a month ago. I feel guilty to mourn for a dog but can't help it.
   
   Have you lost a pet and felt it's all over? How does one deal with this?

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      marielovesposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I am sorry to hear about the passing of RuRu. Of course, it is perfectly normal to feel that way. Take time grieving and don't feel guilty; he was your family! Hang in there!

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      DrMark1961posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Aneegma the description of the time you two spent together really broke my heart. I would be crushed if something like that happened to Ajej, my Pitbull best buddy, so I can imagine the pain you are going through.
      All I can recommend is that you find another friend as soon as possible. There are lots of dogs out there in shelters needing homes, and unless they find someone they are going to die, and sooner rather than later.
      No, you are not going to find another RuRu. You can find someone to love, though, and someone out there really needs you.
      All my dogs are sending you hugs too. (That is a bigger deal than it sounds. My dogs hate hugs!)

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      Lybrahposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      So sorry for your loss.  My cat had a seizure about two weeks ago, but luckily, is fine.  At the time, I thought that was the end.  Had she died, I would be inconsolable too.

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      brakel2posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      We have lost several Golden Retrievers, mostly to illness. I think it would be worse if it was sudden, like your situation. We loved our dogs, and totally understand how you feel. A dog is like a member of the family, and I am so sorry for your loss. We usually tried to get another one soon after the loss, but not immediately, as we needed time to grieve. Try to occupy your mind. Sometimes looking at pictures of calming scenes, reading or just trying to relax are helpful. Several hubbers have hubs about relaxation. Sometimes, I listen to relaxing tapes, and that helps me. Drinking green tea can relax a person. I wish you all the best. If you need to talk in the forum, that may help you. Prayers are coming your way. Hugs,  Audrey

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      The Examiner-1posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      My condolences Aneegma. Do not worry about the mourning, it is the same as if you had lost a person close to you. You have to be prepared to accept this and eventually get over it. I recommend that you begin by saying how you felt towards RuRu by praying for him - perhaps each night until you feel a little better. Remember, he did this for your sake because of the type of dog that he was - thank him in your prayers. I know about this because I just wrote a Hub on the species Labrador/Golden Retrievers.
      
      You can take a step by looking at dogs in shelters. Pinterest has them on there all of the time. When you feel up to it, and you find the right one, then you can get another one.

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      Cardisaposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I am so sorry for you loss. When my dog had babies two months ago she got really sick and I worried so much. I can only imagine what you are going through now. That was really horrible to lose him that way as well. I am so sorry about that.

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      Motown2Chitownposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      My sympathy to you, Aneegma. 

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      Uninvited Writerposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I am so sorry, how awful.

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      Rad Manposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I feel your pain, when they are with you all the time it normal to feel the sorrow of the lose. Sending hugs, but I wish I could help more.

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       bethperryposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       I am very sorry to hear of your loss! Rudolf sounds like he was a wonderful friend.
       
       But yes, what you are feeling is normal. I lost a fantastic canine friend over twenty years ago -by a driver who didn't even stop once he hit him. I still miss him very much. The only comfort I can give you is to tell you that the pain will, in time, ease. Your memories of him, however, will remain and no one can steal those away!

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       stephanielastnameposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       I feel depressed after reading this and wish I could help. Sending you much love, care and comfort. But mostly love.

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   Thelma Albertsposted 9 years ago

   I´m so sorry for your lose. How I wish I could help you with the pain. I think I will feel the same if that would happen to my dog. God forbid! Cry if you want to and don´t feel guilty about it. Take care. I hope you´ll feel better soon.

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   word55posted 9 years ago

   Sorry to hear of your tragic loss. I sympathize with you. I shall pray for you. Try to replace your dog with another or someone to share your life with. For now, you should follow me here on hub pages. I have more encouraging thoughts :-)

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   mdscogginsposted 9 years ago

   Hi Aneegma,
   
   I am sorry for your loss, that sounds really traumatizing.  To answer your question, yes how you feel is totally normal.  Since we spend so much time with our pets they become part of our family.  Grieving a significant loss, RuRu was just that, takes time and you are likely to experience multiple emotions which could feel overwhelming or rapidly changing.  I have attached a link that I recommend to my clients who are grieving but remember there is no timeframe limitation to grieving or no calculated cycle as everyone grieves in their own way.  I hope this is helpful for the beginning of your healing process.  If your mood does not improve in 6 months you may want to seek professional help since  you also experienced trauma as a result of that person's actions. Take Care.
   
   Link:
   http://www.helpguide.org/mental/grief_loss.htm

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   LongTimeMotherposted 9 years ago

   Your mourning is absolutely normal, Aneegma. There's no need to apologise for it. I'm sure you spent more time with Rudolph than your aunt, spoke to Rudolph more often than your aunt, and had many more cuddles and shared significant moments as well.
   
   It is tough losing a good friend. Time helps you deal with it. You'll still be telling people the occasional story about RuRu when you're an old lady, and you will undoubtedly compare future pets with your much loved first one.
   
   Don't be in a hurry to replace him, but don't reject the idea of one day finding another who will fill the hole left by his passing.  You'll know when the time is right.
   
   Sending you best wishes from Australia.   You obviously did a champion job of restoring Rudolph to health after his early injury. He must have had a wonderful life with you.  Time to take care of yourself now.

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   moonlakeposted 9 years ago

   I’m so sorry to hear about your beloved dog. It's normal to mourn for your pet. He died in such a tragic way which makes it even worse. We had a dog pass away in 1990 I still can't talk about him and we have had many pets since him. I'm so glad you are ok. You have my sincere sympathy.

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   Shake Hoqueposted 9 years ago

   sorry. i had adog name snoop,i miss him ,he was my best friend.you will make it.

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   AliciaCposted 9 years ago

   It's completely normal to feel the way that you do, Aneegma. The loss of a beloved pet can be devastating, especially when it's due to an illness or an accident. I have experienced the loss several times and know how hard it is to stop crying or to go on with a normal life. Yet I have done both these things over time.
   
   I have never forgotten my dear companions and never will. After the loss of a pet I've always felt that it's impossible for me to bring another one into my home, yet each time I have eventually got another dog.
   
   Give yourself time. If your experience is like mine, you will find that although a part of you always grieves for your pet, you are able to get back to a contented life and enjoy the presence of a new pet if you get one. Best wishes.

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   Aneegmaposted 9 years ago

   Thanks everybody for your encouraging and supportive words. I appreciate it

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    Cheeky Kidposted 9 years ago

    I can feel your sadness. My condolences. And yeah, only time will heal that sadness and yearning.

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    erorantesposted 9 years ago

    My condolence to you my dear Aneegma.  I  lost a few pets during a few years.  It is sad. All due to accidents and their own doing. My advice to you . You need get another pet at the humane society . They have many for adoption. The new dog will help you with your pain. Good luck with your new puppy.

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    Mark Ewbieposted 9 years ago

    It is completely normal the pain you feel Aneegma.  The pain is because of the love you felt, the bond you had and the pleasure your dog gave to you.
    
    I know many dog owners who mourn their departed companions as they would a really close member of their human family. I am one of those.
    
    I lost one of my dogs a year and a few days ago.  There is not a day go past when I do not think of her.  The hurt is because of the loss of all those good times.
    
    Remember the good times.

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    gmwilliamsposted 9 years ago

    My heartfelt condolences to you for your immense loss.

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    jansharesposted 9 years ago

    So sorry, Aneegma, sincere condolences to you. This is an unspeakable and highly traumatic loss, so your feelings are completely normal. I cannot begin to understand the depths of your pain. I teared up just reading your account of this tragedy. I hope you have support around you as you try to get through the next few days and weeks. Another pet (when you're ready) is excellent advice others have given. RuRu was a major part of your life so it's normal to feel like a part of you has died, too. There is an empty place in your heart that will always be RuRu's. I wish you peace, healing, and strength in your stamina to get through this loss, one day at a time.

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    Aneegmaposted 9 years ago

    Thank you so much everyone. I'm sure Ruru is so happy that everyone here is comforting me. I am hanging in there although I still haven't got much energy to write hubs at the moment but I'm getting close to doing so. Thank you every one. I appreciate your support. It's helping me, thanks

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    Kathryn L Hillposted 9 years ago

    Dear Aneegma,
         What you experienced is the most tragic thing I have heard in a while. You are dealing with more than you know and on many levels. 
    My dog, Atlas died a month ago. I still break down in tears remembering how special he was and our connection to him. Grief heals in time. Your memories and love will never be lost. He feels that. An eleven year old girl told me my dog is in a better place.
    
    I would feel very tempted to do a follow up and let the one who did this know what happened to you (the unbelievable trauma!) and your dog (!) and how you now feel. He should know the consequences of his actions. If you could write a letter… something! Even if you cannot give the letter to the person, it would be therapeutic for you just to write it. Stay strong. I believe your dog is in heaven.

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       Aneegmaposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       You know I have thought about going to beat the living Krap out of this brain dead human who took my baby away, but then I think it will not bring Ruru back and I might feel better a bit going off at him but in the end I must accept he is gone. Thank you very much for your kind words.

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          The Examiner-1posted 9 years agoin reply to this

          I understand your dilemma, but doing that would bring you down to this guys level. It would be better to talk to RuRu in his prayers.

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    Paul Edmondsonposted 9 years ago

    Sorry for your loss. I wouldn't understand the sadness if our family hadn't lost a dog. We lost our dog this year. Months later our family occasionally tears up talking about her.

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    drpennypincherposted 9 years ago

    I have experienced something similar to this.  There is not much you can do- just take things one day at a time.  Eventually the pain will get better and you will have happy memories of the good times for the rest of your life.

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    LeslieAdrienneposted 9 years ago

    My condolences on your lost.....

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    travmajposted 9 years ago

    Aneegma - so sorry for your loss and I empathise with you. Your reactions to losing RuRu are normal and part of the grieving process for a friend you loved and who loved you back unconditionally. RuRu will always have a place in your heart. Time will eventually ease the pain, take one day at a time. Thoughts are with you at this sad time.

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    Jodahposted 9 years ago

    So sorry it has taken me so long to see this post Aneegma, and I feel for you in this time of sorry at the loss of dear Ru Ru. I have lost a number of dogs (and cats) over the years, and it never gets any easier. It IS losing a family member. I have had two dogs (at different times) run over, and on no occasion did the driver stop. It was heartbreaking. Another dog, Jack, was given a bait and died in agony. People can be so cruel and heartless.
    It is normal for you to grieve, and although it won't replace Rudolph, I do recommend you get another dog. All my dogs have come from dog shelters/pounds, been give- always needing a new home, or strays...I have loved every one of them. Cry if you have to...but at least you can be satisfied that he had a happy life with you instead of being put down as a pup.

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       Aneegmaposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       John, thank you so much. I guess I'm taking it so hard because it's my first ever pet. Everyone is telling me to get a new dog but it's just not the same. I did get Ruru from a shelter that takes in abandoned animals so when I'm strong enough I will attempt to raise another dog.  Thanks so much.

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    starstreamposted 9 years ago

    I am so sorry to hear about this loss. Our pets give us such companionship and comfort. They sense our needs and always are loyal.  May angels surround your broken heart and deliver you to a companion to watch over you soon. 
    I know how difficult your loss is.  My heart longs for the man I love who has been detained in Cairo Egypt now for months. I don't know if he will ever be released.

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       Jodahposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       Oh no star stream. Is he one of the reporters who have been unjustly found guilty and sentenced to seven to ten years in prison? I pray the Governments of their home countries can appeal the sentences.

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       Aneegmaposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       wow that sucks. I hope he returns to you soon. I've included him too in my prayers. Thank you for your comment.

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