My Dog Has Died and I'm Inconsolable

Jump to Last Post 1-22 of 22 discussions (38 posts)
  1. Aneegma profile image76
    Aneegmaposted 4 years ago

    My beloved Golden Retriever, Rudolph died last week thanks to a stupid drunken driver. We were enjoying our usual evening walkies then this smug of an idiot had stolen a car and was being pursued by police decided to crashed through the park and lost control of the vehicle and had it not been for Rudolph, he would have smashed me.  For this whole week I have been unable to do literally anything. I can't stop crying and any time I see a dog I just burst into more tears.

    Rudolph was my best friend, my son, my everything. I met him 12 years ago when he was just a three day old pup. His mother abandoned him after she sat and crushed on him and broke both his back paws so he couldn't walk. They were going to put him down then but I decided to take him and nurse him. After two years of receiving good pet care, he was finally able to run around and play and do all the things dogs do. Now I can't face waking up another morning knowing RuRu (that's what I called him) will not be there to lick my face and jump on my bed to demand his breakfast. Who is going to go walkies with me? Who is going to sit at my feet when I'm reading or hubbing? Who is going to be always happy to see me? Who is going to bark and scare off guys that come to my house to chat with me? Oh my RuRu I don't know what to do without you.

    Is this normal? I feel like part of me has died and I feel like my world has ended. Ruru was my first and only dog and to me he was more than a dog. I am actually more sad of RuRu's passing than my aunt who died a month ago. I feel guilty to mourn for a dog but can't help it.

    Have you lost a pet and felt it's all over? How does one deal with this?

    1. marieloves profile image78
      marielovesposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      I am sorry to hear about the passing of RuRu. Of course, it is perfectly normal to feel that way. Take time grieving and don't feel guilty; he was your family! Hang in there!

    2. DrMark1961 profile image99
      DrMark1961posted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Aneegma the description of the time you two spent together really broke my heart. I would be crushed if something like that happened to Ajej, my Pitbull best buddy, so I can imagine the pain you are going through.
      All I can recommend is that you find another friend as soon as possible. There are lots of dogs out there in shelters needing homes, and unless they find someone they are going to die, and sooner rather than later.
      No, you are not going to find another RuRu. You can find someone to love, though, and someone out there really needs you.
      All my dogs are sending you hugs too. (That is a bigger deal than it sounds. My dogs hate hugs!)

    3. profile image0
      Lybrahposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      So sorry for your loss.  My cat had a seizure about two weeks ago, but luckily, is fine.  At the time, I thought that was the end.  Had she died, I would be inconsolable too.

    4. brakel2 profile image77
      brakel2posted 4 years agoin reply to this

      We have lost several Golden Retrievers, mostly to illness. I think it would be worse if it was sudden, like your situation. We loved our dogs, and totally understand how you feel. A dog is like a member of the family, and I am so sorry for your loss. We usually tried to get another one soon after the loss, but not immediately, as we needed time to grieve. Try to occupy your mind. Sometimes looking at pictures of calming scenes, reading or just trying to relax are helpful. Several hubbers have hubs about relaxation. Sometimes, I listen to relaxing tapes, and that helps me. Drinking green tea can relax a person. I wish you all the best. If you need to talk in the forum, that may help you. Prayers are coming your way. Hugs,  Audrey

    5. The Examiner-1 profile image72
      The Examiner-1posted 4 years agoin reply to this

      My condolences Aneegma. Do not worry about the mourning, it is the same as if you had lost a person close to you. You have to be prepared to accept this and eventually get over it. I recommend that you begin by saying how you felt towards RuRu by praying for him - perhaps each night until you feel a little better. Remember, he did this for your sake because of the type of dog that he was - thank him in your prayers. I know about this because I just wrote a Hub on the species Labrador/Golden Retrievers.

      You can take a step by looking at dogs in shelters. Pinterest has them on there all of the time. When you feel up to it, and you find the right one, then you can get another one.

    6. Cardisa profile image92
      Cardisaposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      I am so sorry for you loss. When my dog had babies two months ago she got really sick and I worried so much. I can only imagine what you are going through now. That was really horrible to lose him that way as well. I am so sorry about that.

    7. profile image0
      Motown2Chitownposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      My sympathy to you, Aneegma.  sad

    8. Uninvited Writer profile image81
      Uninvited Writerposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      I am so sorry, how awful.

    9. profile image0
      Rad Manposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      I feel your pain, when they are with you all the time it normal to feel the sorrow of the lose. Sending hugs, but I wish I could help more.

    10. bethperry profile image90
      bethperryposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      I am very sorry to hear of your loss! Rudolf sounds like he was a wonderful friend.

      But yes, what you are feeling is normal. I lost a fantastic canine friend over twenty years ago -by a driver who didn't even stop once he hit him. I still miss him very much. The only comfort I can give you is to tell you that the pain will, in time, ease. Your memories of him, however, will remain and no one can steal those away!

    11. profile image55
      stephanielastnameposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      I feel depressed after reading this and wish I could help. Sending you much love, care and comfort. But mostly love.

  2. Thelma Alberts profile image90
    Thelma Albertsposted 4 years ago

    I´m so sorry for your lose. How I wish I could help you with the pain. I think I will feel the same if that would happen to my dog. God forbid! Cry if you want to and don´t feel guilty about it. Take care. I hope you´ll feel better soon.

  3. word55 profile image69
    word55posted 4 years ago

    Sorry to hear of your tragic loss. I sympathize with you. I shall pray for you. Try to replace your dog with another or someone to share your life with. For now, you should follow me here on hub pages. I have more encouraging thoughts :-)

  4. mdscoggins profile image82
    mdscogginsposted 4 years ago

    Hi Aneegma,

    I am sorry for your loss, that sounds really traumatizing.  To answer your question, yes how you feel is totally normal.  Since we spend so much time with our pets they become part of our family.  Grieving a significant loss, RuRu was just that, takes time and you are likely to experience multiple emotions which could feel overwhelming or rapidly changing.  I have attached a link that I recommend to my clients who are grieving but remember there is no timeframe limitation to grieving or no calculated cycle as everyone grieves in their own way.  I hope this is helpful for the beginning of your healing process.  If your mood does not improve in 6 months you may want to seek professional help since  you also experienced trauma as a result of that person's actions. Take Care.

    Link:
    http://www.helpguide.org/mental/grief_loss.htm

  5. LongTimeMother profile image94
    LongTimeMotherposted 4 years ago

    Your mourning is absolutely normal, Aneegma. There's no need to apologise for it. I'm sure you spent more time with Rudolph than your aunt, spoke to Rudolph more often than your aunt, and had many more cuddles and shared significant moments as well.

    It is tough losing a good friend. Time helps you deal with it. You'll still be telling people the occasional story about RuRu when you're an old lady, and you will undoubtedly compare future pets with your much loved first one.

    Don't be in a hurry to replace him, but don't reject the idea of one day finding another who will fill the hole left by his passing.  You'll know when the time is right.

    Sending you best wishes from Australia. smile  You obviously did a champion job of restoring Rudolph to health after his early injury. He must have had a wonderful life with you.  Time to take care of yourself now.

  6. moonlake profile image89
    moonlakeposted 4 years ago

    I’m so sorry to hear about your beloved dog. It's normal to mourn for your pet. He died in such a tragic way which makes it even worse. We had a dog pass away in 1990 I still can't talk about him and we have had many pets since him. I'm so glad you are ok. You have my sincere sympathy.

  7. Shake Hoque profile image59
    Shake Hoqueposted 4 years ago

    sorry. i had adog name snoop,i miss him ,he was my best friend.you will make it.

  8. AliciaC profile image98
    AliciaCposted 4 years ago

    It's completely normal to feel the way that you do, Aneegma. The loss of a beloved pet can be devastating, especially when it's due to an illness or an accident. I have experienced the loss several times and know how hard it is to stop crying or to go on with a normal life. Yet I have done both these things over time.

    I have never forgotten my dear companions and never will. After the loss of a pet I've always felt that it's impossible for me to bring another one into my home, yet each time I have eventually got another dog.

    Give yourself time. If your experience is like mine, you will find that although a part of you always grieves for your pet, you are able to get back to a contented life and enjoy the presence of a new pet if you get one. Best wishes.

  9. Aneegma profile image76
    Aneegmaposted 4 years ago

    Thanks everybody for your encouraging and supportive words. I appreciate it smile

  10. Cheeky Kid profile image98
    Cheeky Kidposted 4 years ago

    I can feel your sadness. My condolences. And yeah, only time will heal that sadness and yearning.

  11. erorantes profile image55
    erorantesposted 4 years ago

    My condolence to you my dear Aneegma.  I  lost a few pets during a few years.  It is sad. All due to accidents and their own doing. My advice to you . You need get another pet at the humane society . They have many for adoption. The new dog will help you with your pain. Good luck with your new puppy.

  12. Mark Ewbie profile image85
    Mark Ewbieposted 4 years ago

    It is completely normal the pain you feel Aneegma.  The pain is because of the love you felt, the bond you had and the pleasure your dog gave to you.

    I know many dog owners who mourn their departed companions as they would a really close member of their human family. I am one of those.

    I lost one of my dogs a year and a few days ago.  There is not a day go past when I do not think of her.  The hurt is because of the loss of all those good times.

    Remember the good times.

  13. gmwilliams profile image83
    gmwilliamsposted 4 years ago

    My heartfelt condolences to you for your immense loss.

  14. janshares profile image95
    jansharesposted 4 years ago

    So sorry, Aneegma, sincere condolences to you. This is an unspeakable and highly traumatic loss, so your feelings are completely normal. I cannot begin to understand the depths of your pain. I teared up just reading your account of this tragedy. I hope you have support around you as you try to get through the next few days and weeks. Another pet (when you're ready) is excellent advice others have given. RuRu was a major part of your life so it's normal to feel like a part of you has died, too. There is an empty place in your heart that will always be RuRu's. I wish you peace, healing, and strength in your stamina to get through this loss, one day at a time.

  15. Aneegma profile image76
    Aneegmaposted 4 years ago

    Thank you so much everyone. I'm sure Ruru is so happy that everyone here is comforting me. I am hanging in there although I still haven't got much energy to write hubs at the moment but I'm getting close to doing so. Thank you every one. I appreciate your support. It's helping me, thanks smile

  16. Kathryn L Hill profile image78
    Kathryn L Hillposted 4 years ago

    Dear Aneegma,
         What you experienced is the most tragic thing I have heard in a while. You are dealing with more than you know and on many levels. 
    My dog, Atlas died a month ago. I still break down in tears remembering how special he was and our connection to him. Grief heals in time. Your memories and love will never be lost. He feels that. An eleven year old girl told me my dog is in a better place.

    I would feel very tempted to do a follow up and let the one who did this know what happened to you (the unbelievable trauma!) and your dog (!) and how you now feel. He should know the consequences of his actions. If you could write a letter… something! Even if you cannot give the letter to the person, it would be therapeutic for you just to write it. Stay strong. I believe your dog is in heaven.

    1. Aneegma profile image76
      Aneegmaposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      You know I have thought about going to beat the living Krap out of this brain dead human who took my baby away, but then I think it will not bring Ruru back and I might feel better a bit going off at him but in the end I must accept he is gone. Thank you very much for your kind words.

      1. The Examiner-1 profile image72
        The Examiner-1posted 4 years agoin reply to this

        I understand your dilemma, but doing that would bring you down to this guys level. It would be better to talk to RuRu in his prayers.

  17. Paul Edmondson profile imageSTAFF
    Paul Edmondsonposted 4 years ago

    Sorry for your loss. I wouldn't understand the sadness if our family hadn't lost a dog. We lost our dog this year. Months later our family occasionally tears up talking about her.

  18. drpennypincher profile image93
    drpennypincherposted 4 years ago

    I have experienced something similar to this.  There is not much you can do- just take things one day at a time.  Eventually the pain will get better and you will have happy memories of the good times for the rest of your life.

  19. LeslieAdrienne profile image80
    LeslieAdrienneposted 4 years ago

    My condolences on your lost.....

  20. travmaj profile image82
    travmajposted 4 years ago

    Aneegma - so sorry for your loss and I empathise with you. Your reactions to losing RuRu are normal and part of the grieving process for a friend you loved and who loved you back unconditionally. RuRu will always have a place in your heart. Time will eventually ease the pain, take one day at a time. Thoughts are with you at this sad time.

  21. Jodah profile image91
    Jodahposted 4 years ago

    So sorry it has taken me so long to see this post Aneegma, and I feel for you in this time of sorry at the loss of dear Ru Ru. I have lost a number of dogs (and cats) over the years, and it never gets any easier. It IS losing a family member. I have had two dogs (at different times) run over, and on no occasion did the driver stop. It was heartbreaking. Another dog, Jack, was given a bait and died in agony. People can be so cruel and heartless.
    It is normal for you to grieve, and although it won't replace Rudolph, I do recommend you get another dog. All my dogs have come from dog shelters/pounds, been give- always needing a new home, or strays...I have loved every one of them. Cry if you have to...but at least you can be satisfied that he had a happy life with you instead of being put down as a pup.

    1. Aneegma profile image76
      Aneegmaposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      John, thank you so much. I guess I'm taking it so hard because it's my first ever pet. Everyone is telling me to get a new dog but it's just not the same. I did get Ruru from a shelter that takes in abandoned animals so when I'm strong enough I will attempt to raise another dog.  Thanks so much.

  22. starstream profile image75
    starstreamposted 4 years ago

    I am so sorry to hear about this loss. Our pets give us such companionship and comfort. They sense our needs and always are loyal.  May angels surround your broken heart and deliver you to a companion to watch over you soon. 
    I know how difficult your loss is.  My heart longs for the man I love who has been detained in Cairo Egypt now for months. I don't know if he will ever be released.

    1. Jodah profile image91
      Jodahposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Oh no star stream. Is he one of the reporters who have been unjustly found guilty and sentenced to seven to ten years in prison? I pray the Governments of their home countries can appeal the sentences.

    2. Aneegma profile image76
      Aneegmaposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      wow that sucks. I hope he returns to you soon. I've included him too in my prayers. Thank you for your comment.

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)