I have noticed that people who are depressed generally feel sorry for themselves. Why is that?
actually, it's possible to feel depressed without specifically 'feeling sorry for oneself'. It's very low mood or empty mood, and a sense of worthlessness and pointlessness (which is different from feeling sorry for oneself).
It's a chemical imbalance in brain, and for some people, it's triggered by simple things such as food chemicals
When I was going through the severest of major depressive episodes, I could only focus on the hurt and pain, not on anyone or anything else. It was not a conscious choice I made but due to the depression itself. I was diagnosed with the severest form, clinical depression. It definitely was not a fun time.
I think people get depressed and feel sorry for themselves when they feel overwhelmed and helpless. There are many degrees of depression, too.
Clinical depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain and has nothing to do with people "feeling sorry for themselves".
I agree cobrien. Depression is more than 'feeling sorry for yourself', it is a deep saddness with profound consequences on everyday life. Depression is a serious illness and should not be belittled.
One sign of depression can be feeling helpless, so I think sometimes if a person is expressing/showing his sense of feeling helpless; it can be interpreted (incorrectly) as "feeling bad for himself". The same person can know "in his head" that he has lots and lots in his life that he can (and maybe even does) feel grateful or, or happy about. I think sometimes, it's just that that sense of hopelessness can "leak out".
Sometimes, too, when someone (depressed or not) brings up bad things that have happened to him, people get squirmy. They may not have been through similar things and not really feel comfortable having to hear about it.
Someone whose "depressed feelings" (whether or not he has mild depression) may be living in a situation that's wearing away at their energy and good mood. Whether it's this kind of mild depression or something else, people suffering with this kind of issue often become acutely aware of how absolutely little the people around them understand what they're going through (or have gone through). They may try to explain what's going on with them as a way of stopping others from saying things that don't apply or make the depressed person feel more isolated and misunderstood than ever. Any time someone tries to explain bad stuff, they run the risk of seeming like they're "whining". People tend to equate what sounds like whining with self-pity.
I think, whatever degree or kind of depression someone has, it can feel as if just when he needs the support and understanding of others, that's when they understand least (and even give him a little bit of hard time because they don't understand what he's going through). A person with self-esteem may know he doesn't deserve to have people say things that amount of unintended insults to his thinking or ability to manage unhappiness; but he may try to find a way to nicely help others understand better. Or, someone may feel that (while they don't mean to do this) others kind of "attack" him when they don't understand what he's going through. So, again, he'll try to point out/explain what he's going through as a way of hoping they'll understand better; and stop saying things that further isolate him. Sometimes it's not that someone is engaging in self-pity or hoping to get sympathy or pity from the other person - only his wish to end what is often the merciless suggestions and remarks from people who may mean well, but don't understand what he's really going through.
thanks for the explanation - I never knew what it was. A few years ago I was told to snap out of it - I never knew how. Eventually, with counselling and medication I came out of it but did not know why the sorry feeling were there. I had friend who went through similar situations so there was need for understanding.
That's a rather unpleasant assumption to make. Depression is a serious illness, not just a long pity party. I certainly hope you never suffer from it.
Sorry, I never meant to step on anyone toes or belittle the condition. I definitely know what it is like.
Excellent posts above, especially the explanation by Lisa HW.
I have been interested to read in recent months that a study of people's perceptions of reality showed that people who are depressed are the ones who have the most accurate perception of reality. In other words, a healthy amount of "unrealistic" optimism is important for everyday functioning.
So, in addition to medication, meditation, counseling, and other healthy therapies for depression, everyone might do well to aim for some daily positive thinking, even if it seems untrue, just for the medicinal value it can provide.
I am a person that has spent most of my life surrounded by depression. I grew up in a negative environment, so surrounded myself with negative people. Before long, I too grew depressed, feeling that I was inadequate and untalented. I couldn't handle criticism no matter if it was positive or negative.
From childhood and even until now, I get migraines and having sever mood swings. When I went to see a neurologist, he told me it was from the amount of stress I was placing upon myself and a possible chemical imbalance. Once I was able to identify with the triggers that set off my depression and stress, I was able to handle it better. I recently found out that some of my family members have been labeled clinically depressed and are seeking help for it.
When my depression hits, I try to do a number of things to ease it. I will do a bible study with prayer, listen to music and write, find a close friend that helps me to vent while we shop or play a game, or pretty much anything that is positive. I always let my family know when I am having a down day so that they will understand why I am having mood swings. I hope this helps.
That is a great move and strategy that you use. It seems that you have people around you who understand, so that is a plus for you.
by louron 12 years ago
American psychiatrists have found useful than depression, according to The New York Times and Jon Lehrer, author of "How do we make decisions. " Scientific basis for the necessity of suffering led at the time Darwin, himself prone to depression. "Pain or suffering of any kind, if...
by Annie 10 years ago
How do you comfort a friend who is depressed?I often quote verses from the bible to him/her. "For you are my lamp, O Lord.the Lord shall enlighten my darkness, -2 Samuel 22:29
by deergha 11 years ago
But i have to show that I am all fine and happy in front of my son and hubby. Its frustrating. Have you ever felt like this and then what one needs to do? It is hard to smile when actually i don even feel like reacting.
by Jon Allan 14 years ago
I've been wondering about this. A friend of mine who is married to a psychiatrist believes that some people are depressed because that is what they choose to believe.I'm rather startled by this remark seeing as my fiance suffers from Bipolar disorder and it is nearly impossible to maintain a good...
by Susannah Birch 13 years ago
Which is the reason I took a couple of weeks off not long ago. And I'm a very up front person and get sick to friggin death of people tiptoeing around issues. I have no close friends left in the real world (I think I'm awesome but not everyone agrees, not sure why!). I am flat broke. And I am...
by Precious Williams 13 years ago
Before anyone get's really mad with me - this is my reworking of comments by Janet Street-Porter in the Daily Mail on the 19th May 2010. Her view is that there is a rise in the numbers of wealthy, successful woman who have come out and said that they have been suffering from depression...
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