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A Great Cake
And what we have presented to us here tonight on the central dais under the spotlight is not merely a decent cake, not just a fine cake, not simply a good cake. No! Oh, no, indeed. For this a Great Cake! a Superb Cake! a Special Cake! a Stupendous Cake! a Confectioner's Dream of a Cake! a Fusion of All That is Good About Cake! a Monumental Cake! an Awesomely Unique Cake! in other words, a Cake to end all Cakes!
So it should therefore come as no surprise to my audience that it has taken the prodigiously talented and exceedingly popular pastry chef Peptim Squirtle (and his support staff of 18 mixers, beaters, bakers, platers, icers, frosters and decorators) over a full dozen days of planning, purchasing, preparing, portioning, pickling, piecing, pouring, propping, positioning, puffing, pasting, perforating, painting and polishing to assemble this imposing wonder of blender and butter and flour and cream and sugar and oven.
Be sure to step forward — in an orderly fashion, please — to get your photos now, for soon this Great Cake will be nothing more than a Great Memory and a few remaining Great Crumbs, as it will have been parceled out into numerous delectable slabs and slices for the gustatory pleasure of the many guests lucky enough to be in attendance this evening!
[It must be noted that, at first, Peptim was quite apprehensive about this assignment. He pondered for some time on a quite vexing question: how does one properly commemorate the silver jubilee of the founding of a non-profit multi-denominational women’s social club dedicated to the restoration of religious artifacts salvaged from former industrial sites within protected environmental preserves of a disabled ethnic group for the benefit of bi-racial orphans with terminal illness for whom English is a second language?]
Voila! This is how!
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