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Is It Wrong To Have An Affair and Other Nonsense

Updated on June 13, 2014
Looking for Master Bate!
Looking for Master Bate! | Source
Bev praying for money.
Bev praying for money. | Source
If it's wrong to drink this city will be closing soon.
If it's wrong to drink this city will be closing soon. | Source

I’m not sure what it says about my personality that I can write an article about Ted Bundy and then turn right around and write silliness like this but I’m enjoying myself so we’ll leave the analysis to the psyche doctors.

It’s time for another installment of “Funny Google Searches” with me, billybuc, as your tour guide through the dark caverns of the internet. If you are unfamiliar with this series then allow me to explain. I choose a random question to type into the search engines….an incomplete question if you will…and then I see what my fellow internet junkies are searching for. The answers are sometimes hilarious. The answers are sometimes frightening. The answers are never disappointing!

Without further delay let us begin; today’s question is, “Is it wrong to….?”

Oh, yes, if you don’t mind I’m going to sprinkle a little of my down-home humor throughout this article. If you are turned off by sarcasm I strongly urge you to read no more.

IS IT WRONG TO CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS?

Well, if your name is Abdul and you live in Iran I would suggest that you pick another holiday to celebrate. If your name is LeChing and you live in China you might want to pick another holiday to celebrate. It is not only wrong to celebrate Christmas there but it might literally cost you a head.

Come to think of it, in the good old U S of A it has become much more PC to celebrate Winter Holiday or the Birth of the Snow King rather than Christmas, so I guess you aren’t safe no matter where you are. Say Christmas in a public school and you are liable to be suspended and for God’s sake don’t wear a Merry Christmas sweatshirt to a School Board meeting. The School Board members might beat you over the head with this year’s budget and that would cause some serious damage.

IS IT WRONG TO HAVE AN AFFAIR?

Let me see if I understand this question….you are married; you have taken a vow of fidelity for life; and you want to know if it’s okay if you break that vow? Am I missing something? Is there a gray area here that I am glossing over? Who the hell asks these questions? How could it be okay to have an affair?

Do you want to know what is really wrong? Having an affair at Christmastime! No presents for you, bucko! In fact, you could easily be opening your presents at the Salvation Army! That’s what you get for opening the Forbidden Present!

IS IT WRONG TO DRINK?

Having a glass of wine during dinner is not wrong. Having a glass or wine after dinner is not wrong. Having a glass of wine before bed is not wrong. Having wine on an IV drip like I did is wrong!

Of course, if you just got caught having an affair then everyone expects you to drink and drink often. The same could be said about drinking at Christmastime. Everybody does it, unless you are in China and then all bets are off. Sounds like an old joke: what’s worse than celebrating Christmas in China? Celebrating Christmas in China while falling-down drunk with your mistress who happens to be the daughter of the Chairman of the Communist Party!

IS IT WRONG TO GAMBLE?

It seems to me if you are having an affair in China during Christmas that you are quite accustomed to gambling and yes, that would be wrong. Is it wrong to gamble? Is Bingo gambling? If so we have about 500 million Catholics that should be behind bars. Bars as in jail, not bars as in taverns.

Why would someone type this question into the search engine? I can picture some little old lady who just bought a Lottery ticket and now she’s afraid she is going to hell so she frantically searches Google for the answer to her salvation. Or some kid raised in a Fundamentalist household who bet his lunch money that he could ace his next math test. What if he got a “C” on the test AND went to hell for gambling? That would qualify as a bad day in my book.

IS IT WRONG TO PRAY FOR MONEY?

If you want the money for gambling then yes, that is wrong. However, if you want the money to get the heck out of China on December 24th then I don’t think it is wrong to pray for that.

If it’s wrong to pray for money then about half the world is in deep doo doo right now. About the only ones not praying for money are the major corporations and banks and everyone else is praying to them, not God!

IS IT WRONG TO MASTER BATE?

I swear to the Almighty that this came up on the search! This concerns me on so many levels. Not only are there a ton of sexually-frustrated internet users out there but they also don’t know how to spell. What does this say about our education system? Isn’t this word included on the spelling bees? The only reason I have hope is that these searches might be originating from China and then it is understandable. People who can’t celebrate Christmas and can’t gamble have to do something with their spare time.

There is no way these searches are coming from the United States. 99% of us have been jacked around for years by the remaining 1% so we are quite accustomed to this word by now.

And who the heck is Master Bate? Anyone? Anyone? Ferris Bueller?

IS IT WRONG TO QUESTION GOD

Well, it depends on your future plans! If you have an overwhelming desire to spend eternity in a place that is hotter than my Aunt Martha’s tamale pie then by all means, question God! If, on the other hand, you like your vacation spots a little on the moderate side, then I would suggest you keep your questions to yourself and quit playing with your……well, you know! I would also suggest that you quit drinking, gambling, having affairs and calling Christmas the Winter Holiday. God has a pretty good sense of humor but even He has his limits.

THAT’S ALL FOR THIS WEEK!

Actually, I have one more question to add to this batch. Is it wrong to be stupid? Well, if it were we would need a prison the size of Oklahoma. That won’t work! Maybe we could charge a Stupid Tax each and every time someone does one of these searches. It seems to me the national debt would be erased in a matter of days. I happen to know who would owe the most money if such a tax were enacted: The U.S. Congress!

God bless Las Vegas and Merry Christmas to all!

2012 William D. Holland (aka billybuc)


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    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 5 years ago from London, UK

      Lol. Very funny. I enjoyed it. Hope you will do a Part 2.

      Thanks

    • mollymeadows profile image

      Mary Strain 5 years ago from The Shire

      Billybuc, you're scaring me. If these Internet searches make your blood run cold, I wonder what God thinks of the prayers He gets. What a list that must be. In my opinion, the fact that the human race still exists at all is proof that there is a God. How else would we have made it, with representatives like this? XD Up and funny, you madman!

    • EclecticFusion profile image

      Lisa 5 years ago from Tennessee

      Master Bate! Hahahaha! Why in the world would people have to ask such questions? The Internet is not some magic genie or God! Thanks for making me laugh this morning! Voted this funny, awesome, interesting, and way up!

    • TToombs08 profile image

      Terrye Toombs 5 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

      Maybe if the guy asking if it's ok to have an affair was looking for Master Bate instead, he wouldn't end up homeless and celebrating the Winter Holidays with the other clueless wine-guzzling gamblers at the Salvation Army shelter in China. :) At least he isn't alone in his own private hot vacation destination! Wonderific hub, my friend! :) (We need a *hilarious* button)

    • Curiad profile image

      Mark G Weller 5 years ago from Lake Charles, LA.

      You had me falling off my chair Bill, Do people really Mast....

      Oh nevermind :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Lady E, there are like seven parts to this and I have a blast doing each and every one of them. Thank you my friend!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Molly, I scare myself quite often. :) I'm glad you got a laugh out of it and thank you as always.

    • Connie Smith profile image

      Connie Smith 5 years ago from Tampa Bay, Florida

      Funny, funny! Very enjoyable and voted up.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Lisa, if I can bring a laugh to your world then I'm a satisfied writer. Thank you my dear and blessings and peace sent to you.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      TT, I swear you can do these better than I can. I think you are missing your calling. Thanks for dropping by and making me laugh.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Mark, I'm still laughing at the spelling of Mast....oh, never mind! Thanks buddy!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Connie, I'm glad I could provide a laugh this morning. Thank you!

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      bill....Seems silly for these paranoid folks to be looking up questions like these.

      Everyone KNOWS all of these things are "OK"....NOT wrong. I mean, EVERYONE DOES THEM..ALL THE TIME. How can millions of people be wrong?? When in doubt..follow the crowd. That's good advice, right?

      How can it be wrong to drink and gamble and have affairs? I mean, what harm can any of these simple things cause? People worry about the dumbest stuff, really!

      Look, speaking of affairs, let's just put this to bed, once and for all. I say we all do whatever we want, whenever we get the urge, defy all logic and common sense, pay NO attention to warnings of danger, disregard totally the welfare of others and ...hey, what will be, will be.... Yes? Sound like a plan?

      What's that you say, bill?....It's been this way for centuries?? Well, damn it, there ya go....that's WHY this world is so friggan SCREWED UP!!

      Scuse me... I need to Google "Real Estate on Mars."

    • Ardie profile image

      Sondra 5 years ago from Neverland

      Super funny as usual Bill :) I read your Bundy Hub too but I didn't know what to add there and I didn't want to leave a lame comment! So now I will just leave this lame comment and head over to Google to ask if it's wrong to toss my garbage in my neighbors yard. It's something I've wondered for some time now.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Ardie, Bev tosses our slugs into the neighbors yard and I howl every single time she does it.

      Thanks, buddy, and nothing you write is ever lame.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Paula, I completely agree! We need to really get into this hedonistic lifestyle, like the old Roman Empire...what we want we take and who cares about consequences? You and I were repressed for far too long in Catholic school; we have this coming to us, right? I'll be damned if I'm going to say one more Hail Mary in contrition for something I have always wanted to do.

      You crack me up; you need to do one of these hubs yourself and then I can leave a hilarious comment on yours.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      LMAO. Ardie, it's very wrong for me to respond to your comment in bill's hub, but I don't care.

      You need an expert's advice. It's perfectly OK to toss your garbage into your neighbor's yard,if you don't like them.If you do like them, toss only bio-degradable crap in their yard. OK? Got that? (you are one funny gal)

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      bill...maybe you were repressed in Catholic school....I was pretty much focused on avoiding expulsion.

    • weestro profile image

      Pete Fanning 5 years ago from Virginia

      Great job again Billy Buc! Really enjoying these google search hubs! Voted up and awesome!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Paula, I like that...help the environment while dumping your garbage into neighbor's yard...what a civic minded person you are. LOL

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Paula, one nun called me the "eye of the hurricane." All was calm where I sat and utter havoc all around me. She knew I had started it all but she could never catch me. I think it was the nuns who were repressed.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thanks Weestro...I have a blast writing them.

    • Hyphenbird profile image

      Brenda Barnes 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

      No wonder the world is in a mess. Some of these poor people must have trouble making it through the day, let alone making decisions that affect one's entire life and country. Thanks for giving me an astonished chuckle.

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Billy... I so love reading these and the twist you toss in... funny our prospective runs about the same on many things...

      Billy you are a great writer and a man who touches many with your words of wisdom and yes even your words of humour... keep writing brother... we all love you.

      Hugs from Canada

    • KathyH profile image

      KathyH 5 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

      WHEW! I'm glad you threw that extra little blessing in there for Las Vegas at the end, we could use it! Voted up and VERY funny! :) Thanks for sharing your terrific sense of humor!

    • TToombs08 profile image

      Terrye Toombs 5 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

      Nope, I would never be able to do the google search series justice. :) So that's what's wrong with you, billybuc, my friend....parochial school!!! I too, am a recovering Catholic Schooler. I still have the scars on the back of my hands from the ruler that Sister Mary wielded with a vengeance. And like you, I was never caught, just beaten on principle. I hope they're still having nightmares about me. *evil giggle* Serves them right for making me wear a wool uniform in TEXAS! lol grumble grumble sadistic nuns grumble grumble

    • profile image

      KatrineDalMonte 5 years ago

      Haha, it's a strange world Bill, one would think that people should be able to figure out this stuff for themselves? Or do we really need an advice from others on the net? But, at the end of the day we all come in different shapes with different levels of knowledge and understanding. I'm sure many of us owe a lot to the power of the internet and the information that can be easily found.

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 5 years ago from Wales

      Oh yes Billy up up and away!!!

      I love your sarcasm;you do it so well!!

      Ha ha ha!!!

      Oh where would we be without laughter and this one certainly brought it's fair share.

      Take care my friend and enjoy your day.

      Eddy.

    • Jeannieinabottle profile image

      Jeannie InABottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD

      Is it wrong to love this hub so much, because if loving this hub is wrong, I don't want to be right. Sorry, that was cheesy and ridiculous. Another awesome Google search hub! By the way, is it wrong to stab someone with a plastic fork if he steals your fries? No particular reason I am asking that... just curious. :-) Voted up and awesome!

    • jasonponic profile image

      Jason Ponic 5 years ago from Albuquerque

      This has to be the best hub I've seen yet! Great concept and your wit is classic! Vote up!

    • A.Villarasa profile image

      Alexander A. Villarasa 5 years ago from Palm Springs

      Hello Billy:

      To paraphrase: The best things in life are free. Yours came free via HubPages. So keep hubbing and let simple folks like me.. again to paraphrase...laughing in stitches. Did I say that right? What the heck.. if someone could master-bate, so could I.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Hyphenbird, you are very welcome. It does make you wonder, doesn't it?

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Rolly, I'm not sure what I did to deserve such high praise this morning but I think you so much. I admire you my friend so your words mean a great deal to me.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      KathyH, you are very welcome. If it wasn't for humor I'm not sure how I would make it in this world.

    • TravelAbout profile image

      Katheryn 5 years ago from United States

      I love your sense of humor! Really great hub. Thanks for giving me my laugh fix as it is a necessity to get through life these days. Kudos.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      TT, you simply have to do a humorous hub soon. I, for one, think you are hilarious. Yes, the nuns scarred many of us and for that I have no sympathy for them at all. Repressed followers of Master Bate if you ask me.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Katrine, I probably spend as much time on the net as anyone and I am still amazed each and every week by what people are searching for. I'm not sure who they have managed to get through life without the internet.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Eddy, it does my heart good to see your name pop up. Thank you my dear and have a wonderful day sorting through your vast inventory of writings. My best to you and Dai!

    • Ardie profile image

      Sondra 5 years ago from Neverland

      Bill, I bet I could write a lame "nice job" comment with the best of them :) I can see Bev tossing the slugs. My mom flings our neighbor's dog's poo back in their yard!! Its the funniest thing I've ever seen.

      fpher, LOL!! I will keep those tips in mind. Note to self: foul garbage to the left and biodegradables to the right.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Jeannie...OMG...I had a guy in college do that to me in the Student Union Bldg...I reached over for a fry and he stabbed me...went just a little bit crazy for a moment. I am laughing so hard right now I have tears in my eyes. Thank you my friend.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Jason, thank you; I'm glad I could provide a little entertainment for you today, but really we both have our fellow internet users to thank.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      A.Villarasa, you said it exactly correct and I thank you very much. I'm glad there are people out there who enjoy my weird sense of humor.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Travel, I'm glad. I love to make people laugh and you are correct, we need it to get through life.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Ardie, have you mom put the dog poo in a brown paper sack and set it on fire on the neighbor's porch...we used to do that when we were teens and it is hilarious when the neighbor comes out and stomps on the fire. Sick? Oh yes!

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 5 years ago from Central Florida

      Nice way to spend my lunch break, Bill! Thanx for the chuckle!

    • ChristyWrites profile image

      Christy Birmingham 5 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      Hehe Bill! Is it wrong to... like this hub so much?!! I like the series of hubs :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sha, I'm here for you! You need a laugh, I'm here. You need to vent, I'm here. You need to cry, I'll listen. That's what friends do my dear.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Christy, thank you as always...I love writing these as it takes me away from the regular serious essays I write.

    • Haunty profile image

      Haunty 5 years ago from Hungary

      Funny as hell! lol Um ... wait, is it wrong to say that hell is funny? Sorry.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Haunty, if it is then we are both in serious trouble. :) Thank you!

    • Sparklea profile image

      Sparklea 5 years ago from Upstate New York

      Billybuc: Voted up, funny, useful and interesting! It was like you were talking directly to each reader as if in a conversation (standing on a soapbox waving your arms in front of an audience), while all the people are nodding their heads, agreeing with you, grinning and laughing! GREAT READ, TRUE, entertaining, and I just loved it! Blessings, Sparklea :) PS: Looking forward to the next one!

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Bill - you're too much! Omg! The Master Bate?!! My step dad used to make fish bait out of wheat germ and some kind of pink putty looking stuff - he called it the Master Bait:) hahaha

      I think it's fine to do just about all that stuff - just not on the same days!

    • TToombs08 profile image

      Terrye Toombs 5 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

      biily, I tend to do my funny stuff on my blog so I don't get in trouble with the HubGods. :o) But, thank you for the encouragement, I will look into it. lol

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sparklea, you are so darn nice to me! I'm sure glad you enjoyed my silliness. I think your description is pretty good; that's what I used to do when I was teaching.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Kelly, your dad was a pretty funny guy! I'm laughing harder at his line than my hub! Thanks my friend for stopping by once again.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      TT I look forward to it.

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      iamaudraleigh 5 years ago

      Your sense of humor is calming for some reason. I like this hub today especially. Great indeed...voted up! Love Mr. Bate and Bueller!

    • Jlava73 profile image

      Jennifer Vasconcelos 5 years ago from Cyberspace and My Own World

      I laughed until I cried :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Audra, I'm not sure anyone has ever told me that my sense of humor is calming. :) I'll take that as a compliment. Thanks buddy; hang in there and smile as often as needed.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Jlava, then my work here is done. :) Glad I could help!

    • sweethearts2 profile image

      sweethearts2 5 years ago from Northwest Indiana

      It would be wrong on so many levels to miss this hub. Thanks for bringing a laugh to my day and tomorrow, as I'm sure I'll still will have more than few chuckles left. Laughing afterglow from Master Bate.

    • learner365 profile image

      Saadia A 5 years ago

      This is indeed hilarious :D I had a somewhat unpleasant day but after reading this everything seems fine. Thank you for a good chuckle :D

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Seems like people were searching for justification to their questions on some of these. Indeed, they are such simple questions, but a bit comical when yo think about it.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sweethearts, you are very welcome! I love that there are those like you who like my humor and love to laugh. Thank you!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Learner, I'm glad I could help you with your day. It feels great to laugh does it not?

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Oh yes, a bit comical indeed, Teaches! :)

    • Levertis Steele profile image

      Levertis Steele 5 years ago from Southern Clime

      New things come up every day. I never thought about reseaching with half sentences. I must try it.

      What an interesting article!

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 5 years ago from Central Florida

      Big smiley face to you, Bill! And, that's all I have to say about that! (You have to read this with the Forrest Gump slur...)! :-)

    • picklesandrufus profile image

      picklesandrufus 5 years ago from Virginia Beach, Va

      I am used to your more serious hubs, but really enjoyed the comic relief! Enjoyable read!!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Levertis, I first got the idea when I was bored one day and I typed in "how do you" and was amazed by the answers...eight hubs later I am still amazed. Thanks for dropping by.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sha, we gotta have fun or there is no sense to any of this crazy world. Sleep well my friend and as always, thank you for being you.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Hey Pickles! That's interesting that you think that...I wonder how many other people think that too. I've done quite a few humorous hubs but it seems everyone remembers the alcohol or adoption hubs. Hmmm, maybe I'm not that funny! :) Thank you for visiting and I'm glad you got a kick out of it.

    • Candie V profile image

      Candie V 5 years ago from Whereever there's wolves!! And Bikers!! Cummon Flash, We need an adventure!

      And we scroll down.. and we scroll down.. and we scrol.. wait! Here I am! Whew that was a long trip! I'm tired.. Is it wrong to whine? Not whilst I'm master bating? Maybe that's a fishing question. No one wants to be a novice bater.. or baiter.. but that's just my opinion. I need a drink.. where's my IV stand? Wait.. that's now wrong.. crap!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Dammit, Candie, it's not allowed that your comment be funnier than the hub! How dare you! LOL...I hadn't thought of the fishing angle and now I'm envy green. Sigh! Must work on my humility...must work on my humility...

      You are too funny! Thanks for the drop by!

    • DanaTeresa profile image

      Dana Strang 5 years ago from Ohio

      Oh boy is this a good one! Had me laughing out loud.I love the nod to Vegas at the end!

      I am up past my beditme reading your hub, and that is definitely wrong, so its off to bed for me. I can only imagine the dreams I will be having after reading this before bed! :)

    • Candie V profile image

      Candie V 5 years ago from Whereever there's wolves!! And Bikers!! Cummon Flash, We need an adventure!

      Are you clicking your heals together 3 times? Put on your ruby house slippers and do it! Your world will turn black and white and .. no wait..

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Dana, if anyone can appreciate my sense of humor it is you! Glad I could provide a belly laugh or two; hope you weren't drinking milk when you laughed.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      LOL...I'll have you know my slippers are pink thank you very much!

    • Crystal Tatum profile image

      Crystal Tatum 5 years ago from Georgia

      Very clever! I laughed out loud.

    • Candie V profile image

      Candie V 5 years ago from Whereever there's wolves!! And Bikers!! Cummon Flash, We need an adventure!

      I call that light-red.. why should light red have a different name than light blue after all? I should google this.. "Is it wrong to call Pink light red?"

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Hi Crystal! I'm so glad you enjoyed my sick sense of humor. Thanks for stopping by.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Let me know what you come up with Candie; maybe we'll team up on a hub!

    • Candie V profile image

      Candie V 5 years ago from Whereever there's wolves!! And Bikers!! Cummon Flash, We need an adventure!

      Hahaha! Good enuf! Gotta get together with GMa Johnson.. she's funnier than both of us together!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I do believe you might be right about that!

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 5 years ago

      Billybuc, what A Laugh, what a Hoot...I Loved it...One of your BEST! I'm still Laughing and Smiling!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you B....I love writing these and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

    • vocalcoach profile image

      Audrey Hunt 5 years ago from Nashville Tn.

      After a very serious...way to serious day, your hilarious hub is a gift. Love it! I will laugh my little self to bed and following that, I will continue to laugh through the very fun dreams which await me. You're the best, my brother and voted up and all the rest.

    • profile image

      Rosalinem 5 years ago

      Billy You are just the best, I was laughing like crazy. so good for the heart. Voted up, funny and very interesting.

    • ruthclark3 profile image

      Ruth Clark 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      Started my day with a good belly laugh. Good hub, voted up. More, please.

    • snowdrops profile image

      snowdrops 5 years ago from The Second Star to the Right

      LOL! I love your list! Hope to see more of this!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Vocal, if I made your day a little brighter then I am quite pleased. Thank you my friend and hopefully today will be better for you.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Rosalinem, it does feel good to laugh, doesn't it. Glad I could provide a chuckle or two.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Good morning Ruth and thank you! Have a wonderful day today.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Snowdrops, hello again! I've actually written like seven of these and I have a ball each and every time. Thank you as always.

    • alekhouse profile image

      Nancy Hinchliff 5 years ago from Louisville, Kentucky

      This is so, so funny. It just got funnier and funnier. I love your humor and sarcasm. Thanks so much for making my day!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Alek, I'm glad I could bring a laugh to your day. I love to laugh and be silly and yes, occasionally be sarcastic. :)

    • Dee aka Nonna profile image

      Dee aka Nonna 5 years ago

      You do have a sense of humor. I enjoyed this very much and a much need laugh for the day. Voted up and funny.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Dee, I can't imagine life without laughing. Thank you so much.

    • CloudExplorer profile image

      Mike Pugh 5 years ago from New York City

      What happens in China stays in China, forget about Vegas, lol.

      I use to be a heavy gambler I guess you can call me compulsive, but them flashing lights, and hot tables had a hold on me, until I left China quick, and flew over to Vegas to detox a bit, oh my bad not detox I meant GA'ed myself or Gamblers anonymous educated myself, but not in Vegas I meant somewhere out of Gamblers ville altogether. Haha

      Your hub here was totally hilarious Billybuc, you should have been a comedian, or maybe you are one in disguise here as a online writer & portraying to be a web surfer simultaneously. Either way your writing is always fantaboulouso!!!

      Voted up up and Away!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Michael, my sense of humor has never let me down. I've needed it during certain dark days of my life. Your comment by the way is quite funny; you might be missing your calling as a comic writer. :) Thank you buddy!

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      Austinstar 5 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

      And the hub answers section too! How many times has "How can I make money on HubPages" been asked and answered?

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Austinstar, I completely agree! I don't know how many times I have seen that question raised and I want to shout, "GET OFF YOUR DEAD BEHIND AND START WRITING!"....thanks for the comment and the follow. Glad I brought you a laugh or two.

    • Austinstar profile image

      Austinstar 5 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

      I think we should copy and paste your answer to all of the stoopid questions we see!

      Now that's funny right there.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Austin, it would at the very least be appropriate. :)

    • raciniwa profile image

      raciniwa 4 years ago from Naga City, Cebu

      hahahahaa...i haven't heard of Master Bate either...i asked my partner but he spelled it mastarbate...hahahaha...

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Raci, that was the one that had me howling when I read it. I'm glad you had fun reading this. Blessings to you.

    • alocsin profile image

      alocsin 4 years ago from Orange County, CA

      Aside from an amusing respite, you've provided me with a great idea to pass the time in Google. I'll try my own queries on the search engine to see if it brings up anything fun. Voting this Up and Interesting.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Aurelio, it is great fun! I limit myself to one search per week, but it never fails to entertain me....and it's free!

      Thank you so much!

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