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What Happens If You Eat Mold and Other Nonsense

Updated on October 10, 2013
Could these be some of the people making these Google searches?
Could these be some of the people making these Google searches? | Source
Maybe it's these people?
Maybe it's these people? | Source
Whoever they are I'm going to keep looking for them.
Whoever they are I'm going to keep looking for them. | Source

I don’t know about the rest of you out there but there are days when I just don’t feel like I measure up! It’s like I am out of sync with the universe; I’m clumsy, I drop things, I trip over roots in the lawn and I suddenly forget how to spell or construct an intelligent sentence. I start feeling like I did in high school, the only nerd in a sea of cool kids.

When those moments come upon me I have one time-tested, sure-to-not-fail solution: I do a Google search and I immediately find out that compared to some of the other internet jockeys out there I’m pretty darn normal. I’m sorry to put it this way; I know I’m being terribly blunt and I truly don’t want to appear insensitive, but there are some strange people lurking behind those PC’s and Mac’s. The kind of people I would not invite home to meet Bev! The kind of people I would not want my son dating! The kind of people I hope never breed!

Do you think I exaggerate? Do you think I’m being a bit nasty? Well fine! I invite you to read on and make up your own mind. This week I typed the following question into Google and Yahoo: What happens if you? Read for yourself and tell me if I’m being a bit harsh in my appraisal of my fellow internet brethren. And please, don’t write a comment telling me the real answers to these questions. Where is the fun in that?

WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU EAT MOLD?

We have all seen it on food at one time or another. Heck, show me a bachelor and I’m willing to bet if you look in his refrigerator you will find quite an assortment of mold. When I was living alone I always felt that mold added a nice color scheme to the foods in my fridge. Bread is so drab, but add a touch of mold and now you have green bread! Much more festive, especially around the Christmas holidays! And don’t you think the yellow of cheese goes well with the green fuzzies?

But back to the question at hand: what happens if you eat mold? Well my friends, if, after you spot that green, fuzzy stuff on your food you still choose to eat it, I would suggest you check yourself into a psyche ward at the soonest possible moment. Does that look normal to you? Does your cheese usually have hair growing out of it? What would possess someone to give a little nibble to a food that has suddenly taken on the appearance of a horror film creature?

WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU DON’T EAT?

The quick answer to this one is that your friends will start calling you Twiggy! The long answer is you will be called Twiggy for several months and then you won’t have to worry about it any longer. What do they mean what will happen if you don’t eat? What do they think will happen? Last time I checked the human body needs food to survive; did I miss something in those anatomy classes I took? Do we have a new generation of kids who miss a lot of class and now they don’t understand that we need to eat? I thought this was basic common sense and yet there are thousands out there asking this question.

This would make more sense if someone were asking what happens if we don’t eat mold, in which case the answer would be absolutely nothing. Can you imagine the executives of McDonald’s upon finding out that there are those out there who are contemplating not eating a Big Mac any longer? It’s so un-American! We are an obese country and we can’t have these subversives ruining our image! Step away from the computer and go bite down on a German Chocolate Cake as soon as possible!

WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU CHEAT ON YOUR TAXES?

Well, if you are a major corporation then absolutely nothing will happen. Those guys have been getting away with this for years. However, if you are some working stiff and you cheat on your taxes then the IRS will hunt you down and bring you to your knees. Those guys are relentless and there is no place on Earth for you to hide, so give it up and save yourself a manhunt.

If you still insist on cheating then I suggest you go to the seedier part of your town and ask for a guy named Mario or Alphonse! For a few hundred bucks he can get you a new identity that will keep the IRS fooled for a few years at least. Your other option is to stop eating and soon all of your problems will go away.

WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU GET AUDITED?

If you’ve been cheating on your taxes then you are so deep in doo-doo that you might as well eat about a pound-and-a-half of mold. Seriously, what do you think is going to happen? The IRS has no sense of humor. None! They could be auditing Larry the Cable Guy and they would not smile once during the proceedings. They could be auditing The Three Stooges and they would charge them for impersonating comedians.

This is a government agency that has audited dead people in the past and then levied taxes on the survivors. What do you think is going to happen? If you have been cheating then you have no hope. You could have Mother Teresa as your tax lawyer and you would be going to Folsom Prison for life and Mother Teresa would be sharing the same cell with you. You cannot bribe them, you cannot cajole them, you cannot humor them or reason with them. You can only pray to God to have mercy on your soul because you will receive no mercy from the auditor.

WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU STOP PAYING ON CREDIT CARDS?

Next to the IRS there is no more relentless entity than a credit card company that is looking for a late payment. They will call you in the morning. They will call you in the afternoon. They will call you in the evening before you go to bed. Go ahead, change locations! It may take them a little longer than the IRS but they will find you. When they have finally weakened you with the persistent pressure and you finally pick up the phone they will act like you are their long-lost relative and they were just concerned for your health.

Again, go downtown and find Alphonse and get that new identity. Then, on your way out of town, give your old cell phone to your least favorite relative or friend and let them answer all of those annoying calls from Bangladesh and Borneo!

WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU DON’T SLEEP?

I’m yawning just thinking about this question. What do they mean what happens if they don’t sleep? One night? Three? A month? I can tell you from personal experience that it’s possible to go a few days without sleep because I did it at the Monterrey Pop Festival and then promptly fell into a catatonic state for two days. I understand having insomnia so please don’t write comments on how to beat that malady. What I don’t understand is being so concerned about it that you look for a remedy on the internet.

Whenever I can’t sleep I read “Wuthering Heights” by Bronte and I start nodding off within minutes. If that doesn’t work I put on some Barry Manilow while I’m reading. Absolutely guaranteed to work!

WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU TAKE EXPIRED MEDICINE?

Okay, I know I’m going to sound insensitive, but if you know the medicine is expired why would you put it in your mouth? I’m not a doctor; I have no medical training. I know next to nothing about drug interactions or how long a drug is effective and I like it that way. I read the label, take it when I’m supposed to take it and don’t take it when I’m not supposed to take it. That little formula has served me well for over six decades. Somehow, in over six decades I have not once taken a medicine that had expired. Does that make me a genius or does it make me someone with the minimum amount of common sense?

What happens? You start growing mold on your chest and back! You start suffering from insomnia! You stop eating and grow too weak to pay your credit cards! In your now declining mental state you cheat on your taxes so you have enough money to buy new medicines and the IRS calls you in for an audit and then levies a penalty on your estate called The Stupid Tax, payable for the rest of your life.

I’M DISCOURAGED, DEPRESSED AND IN DENIAL

This can’t be happening! Our species was destined for greatness and now look at what we have become: computer zombies incapable of functioning in life without the help of Google! Albert Einstein must be rolling over in his grave right now! Maybe since I’m now depressed I should take some expired Valium? Maybe go on a hunger strike to cleanse my mind and body? I’ll let you know how it turns out for me.

One good thing has come out of this exercise: I never run out of things to write about. With seven billion people out there, many of whom have a computer, I feel safe in saying that my future as a writer looks very bright!

2012 William D. Holland (aka billybuc)

For other Funny Google searches check out these past articles by billybuc:

http://billybuc.hubpages.com/hub/How-Do-I-Know-If-He-Likes-Me-and-Other-Nonsense

http://billybuc.hubpages.com/hub/How-To-Tie-A-Tie-And-Other-Nonsense

http://billybuc.hubpages.com/hub/How-To-Cheat-And-Other-Nonsense

http://billybuc.hubpages.com/hub/Funny-Google-Searches-Is-It-Possible-To-Get-Pregnant-and-Other-Nonsense

http://billybuc.hubpages.com/hub/Funny-Google-Searches-How-Do-I-Know-When-To-Switch-Breasts-and-Other-Nonsense

http://billybuc.hubpages.com/hub/How-To-Make-Chloroform-And-Other-Nonsense

http://billybuc.hubpages.com/hub/How-Do-You-Make-A-Baby

Do you know any of these people?

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    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      dwachira, thank you Sir! It is a bit quirky, that humor of mine! :)

    • dwachira profile image

      [ Danson Wachira ] 5 years ago from Nairobi, Kenya

      billybuc you made my day, your series of Google searches humor is awesome, for this particular one, this line did it [I always felt that mold added a nice color scheme to the foods in my fridge]. I like your internet humor, voted up, awesome and shared.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thanks Alahiker...love your name by the way....I had fun writing it.

    • alahiker28 profile image

      Vicki Parker 5 years ago from the Deep South

      Voted up, though I can't vote in the poll because I can't select more than one choice : )

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Toknowinfo, thank you so much! It is still hard for me to accept praise but I gratefully accept yours.

    • toknowinfo profile image

      toknowinfo 5 years ago

      Refreshing hub on a topic I never thought of. Thanks for the interesting read. I love the way you write and enjoy all your hubs.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Theresa, that's fine. I asked because I was curious and interested. I taught for eighteen years and watched the standards drop considerably in that time. Now I see the kids of some of my friends and they can't write an intelligent paragraph in high school. I proofread one the other night and I didn't even know where to start. I wanted to tell her to do the whole thing over but I knew that was out of the question and the second draft wouldn't be any better than the first.

      Anyway, thank you for answering my question and confirming what I already suspected.

      bill

    • phdast7 profile image

      Theresa Ast 5 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      billy- I always enjoy your fluff and I do teach history at a small university and have be teaching for 15 years. I love what I do, but it is very discouraging, 25 to 35% of the incoming freshman class is not prepared to do college level work. They must immediately take 1-3 remedial classes (some of them have to take them twice!!)

      And in my courses, the average freshman performs at the same level that you and I performed in 10th grade. Many of them tell me they have never written a term paper or even a short essay; all they have ever taken are multiple choice exams.

      Now we also get some very bright students and some in the middle. But about one third of the entering class doesn't return because they did so poorly and they or their parents just give up.

      I don't think they are stupid (well, maybe a few of then), but they lack skills, discipline, read poorly and write poorly. They need to go work for a couple of years, gain some maturity and skills, and then enter college around 20 or 21.

      I find that older students almost always do very well, even if they aren't actually that intellectually sharp. Thy have discipline and organizational skills - and they really want an education so they work very, very hard. So many 18 year olds are not at all ready for college. Sorry for the long rant. Theresa

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Molly, you don't know the half of it! :) Thank you and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Phdast7, you had me laughing with that remembrance from the past. Times are changing for sure...if I remember correctly you teach at a college...I would love to know if you see a downgrade in the intelligence of incoming freshmen. Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed this fluff and have a wonderful weekend.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Nell, I don't like it either. Just about the time I get accustomed to something they change it for the "better." Thank you for dropping by; I can only imagine what you see daily on that job of yours.

    • mollymeadows profile image

      Mary Strain 5 years ago from The Shire

      Billybuc, you are a sick man...rofl.

    • phdast7 profile image

      Theresa Ast 5 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      Billy - These Hubs of yours are always so much fun and a great way to blow off steam at the same time. I was raised to never call people stupid, but there do seem to be an awful lot of stupid or bored , or even worse - stupid and bored people with internet access.

      Now, my mother (now, we don't ever want to call people stupid, besides they aren't really stupid, maybe they re just different) was a kind and thoughtful southern Christian lady and I seldom disagreed with her judgements.

      But something has clearly changed because there are lots of stupid people, just about everywhere. They wander around in public... Someone gives them access to the internet... It is quite frightening.... Great Hub. :)

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi, I write for webanswers, and believe me, if you want to see some stupid, strange and just downright questions join up and have a good laugh! lol! scary really! really funny thanks! and I hope they bring back the photos with the comments, I don't like this darn layout! lol!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Well thank you Nymira, that means a great deal to me. Take care and thanks for dropping by.

    • Nymira profile image

      Nymira 5 years ago

      This is the best article I've read today (seriously).

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Made....:)

    • Made profile image

      Madeleine Salin 5 years ago from Finland

      Then I must believe you.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Most definitely!

    • Made profile image

      Madeleine Salin 5 years ago from Finland

      Are you sure? :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Made, you have me smiling this morning. Thank you kind lady; the only problem with HubPages that I can see is we are left with an emptiness because we are unable to actually meet wonderful people like yourself.

    • Made profile image

      Madeleine Salin 5 years ago from Finland

      Yes Bill, an empty brain without ideas must be dead. When that day comes, your hubs will show you what a great man you were. That means, my friend, you will never really die. :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Made, that's a great idea...or some warning light that flashes when a question is approaching stupid! :) Thank you my friend; I'm sure the day will come when my brain goes completely blank and I won't have any new ideas...or is that called death? :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Dana, I'm grateful as always that you dropped by; I appreciate you greatly and respect you as a writer and a friend.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Stephanie, I have no idea where the buttons went; I ran into that yesterday when I was reading some other hubs. Oh well, thanks for dropping by and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Till....ouch! That hurts! Hopefully those family members are far away from you. :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Paula, that was it! I remember sitting at the end of the movie wondering what the hell happened to Jimbo? Did he have a brain-transplant at some point? Did he forget he was a comedian? But I will concede that some of his earlier stuff was hilarious.

    • Made profile image

      Madeleine Salin 5 years ago from Finland

      Google should be smarter and say "stop" if you search for stupid questions. At least Gooogle should ask you the question: "Do you really want to ask What happens if you eat mold?". Enjoyable hub, Billy. You never seem to run out of ideas for your hubs. :)

    • DanaTeresa profile image

      Dana Strang 5 years ago from Ohio

      Hey! Stehpanie is right. I opened this after seeing her comment and there are no vote buttons. I swear they were there before. Or not. ? The format does look good though. I vote up and funny and ineresting and.... :)

    • Stephanie Henkel profile image

      Stephanie Henkel 5 years ago from USA

      Thanks for the laugh this morning! I'm constantly surprised at the stupid questions that people ask on the internet! Really, what happens if you don't eat? duh! Great topic for a hub and lots of fun! What happened to the Vote buttons? :(

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 5 years ago from New York

      Not only neighbors of mine Billy but family members too!

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      bill....OK...I'll give you that. He did do some not-so-funny-kind-of-stupid movies later on. You refer to the "Truman Story," I think? Yeah...lost me too. Didn't like that one.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Teaches, it always please me when you stop by; thanks for the visit and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Ardie, I'm always happy when I can provide a laugh to my readers. What really bothers me, though, is that I think I know some of these people. LOL...thank you my friend!

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      I loved this hub. I had a good laugh at the mold comments. I can relate to the hairy monster in the fridge form days past. I agree that you wouldn't want to know some of these people... scary.

    • Ardie profile image

      Sondra 5 years ago from Neverland

      Another great and hilarious read! You seriously have to wonder how these people have lived as long as they did without any sense...

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I do have fun with these Tammy! It gives me a chance to dust off my sarcasm and turn it loose without much fear that I'm going to insult anyone I know...because I don't know anyone this confused! Thanks once again and have a wonderful weekend.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Ruby, I have no idea what has happened to the collective intelligence of the world! It seems to be slipping further downhill with each day but...but...it gives us something to write about so that's a plus. :) Thank you dear friend!

    • tammyswallow profile image

      Tammy 5 years ago from North Carolina

      This is a riot! I was just about to chow down on some mold.. guess I will find something less toxic.. LOL!! This layout is neat... I can't find any buttons to share this hub. Hilarious!

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Funny hub, Makes one wonder if some just didn't bother about getting an education..The thought of eating mold..YUCK..Cheers

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Paula, okay, maybe I like four or five of his movies...but his later stuff fell off dramatically...what was that weird one where his life was being filmed? He lost me on that one!

      Bev is laughing at the vision of me out cold on the floor.

      Thanks buddy!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      No offense taken, Dana, and you are right on with your assessment.

    • DanaTeresa profile image

      Dana Strang 5 years ago from Ohio

      p.s.

      Wuthering Heights is one of my favorite books! No offense taken though. It is sort of the literary equivalent of a chick flick.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Yes..yes....that's the scene...when he excuses himself from the courtroom and goes into the men's room to beat himself silly....even slams his head in the toilet seat...OH BILL! Not a fan of Jim Carey??? His movies have nearly crippled me with laughter.

      You take it easy on yourself...remember the rules for the boxing ring!! Can you imagine poor Bev, finding you knocked out on the floor.....and explaining that one to her??? LOL

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Okay, Dana, your summary was funnier than my hub and that isn't fair! LOL Great job my friend. You sound like you are in a good mood and for that I am happy. I need to stop by and see if you have written anything lately. Thanks for dropping by, Dana, and I'll be by shortly to see what you have been up to.

    • DanaTeresa profile image

      Dana Strang 5 years ago from Ohio

      As soon as I saw this title I knew it would be a good one! Great job.

      These searches were clearly done by someone who is losing sleep because they are about to cheat on their taxes to lower the amount owed so that they can pay their credit card bills. The thought of being audited has them afraid to leave the house to go to the store and they can't order in because they maxed out their credit cards, so their only food has become moldy. They must now decide if they should go without eating or if they should risk eating the mold and treating any symptoms with their expired medications. hey. at least no one is getting pregnant this time! :)

      Can't wait for your next one!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Paula, wasn't that the scene where he started beating the hell out of himself? I'm not normally a Jim Carey fan but I loved that movie and "The Mask"...both of them had me in stitches...well, not literally but you get the point.

      Thank you my friend; I'll let you know if I turn physical!

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      OH! laughing by yourself is fine...not frightening at all, bill. When you begin to fight by yourself, especially if it becomes physical, now THAT's reason for concern......

      ha!...That just flashed a scene in the movie "Liar Liar" with Jim Carey....did you see it? If so, you know I'm referring to the men's room scene....If not, you and Bev need to rent it....you will enjoy it, I promise...

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sonya, my friend, may the move go as smoothly as possible and may you find the happiness you so deserve in your new home. Thank you my dear.

    • Sonya L Morley profile image

      Sonya L Morley 5 years ago from Edinburgh

      Great article, Bill, as someone whose head is full of moving-home details, I appreciated this little respite from worry, so thank you! Stay in touch, take care.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Mark, thank you! I have a blast doing these; it's a nice change from my normal writings. I appreciate your kind words Sir!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Jainismus, thank you so much for stopping by. I'm glad I could provide a laugh or two.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Christy, these are the easiest hubs for me to write; these people just have a way of feeding my natural sarcastic tendencies. Thanks for stopping by and I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.

    • Curiad profile image

      Mark G Weller 5 years ago from Lake Charles, LA.

      I love the way you layered the answers to the questions with the previous question!

      Well Done Bill. Voted Up!

    • jainismus profile image

      Mahaveer Sanglikar 5 years ago from Pune, India

      Funny nonsense searches, thank you for sharing

    • ChristyWrites profile image

      Christy Birmingham 5 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      Hehe your poll at the end of the hub is funny! I like this hub as it makes me laugh and wonder 'people actually search for those things on google?' Oh dear, I shake my head and laugh :) Well done again Bill.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Kelly, that's why I find these so fun to write about...is there any doubt what happens if you cheat on taxes? What else could happen except getting punished? Thank you my friend; you bring a smile to my face each and every time you visit.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Eddy, with you and Bev as my support system I have the greatest job in the world. Dry sense of humor? I must have missed my mark; I was shooting for sarcastic all the way. :) Thank you my dear Eddy; some day we will sit over tea and laugh our collective arses off! Blessings and peace always! And yes, Bev has a similar sense of humor.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Practical, there is no figuring the human species. We can only hope that one day our species will evolve into a higher life form. Thank you my friend for stopping by.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Tillsontitan, welcome back and thank you! These are fun hubs to write, a nice break from my normal stuff. Glad you liked it and beware: these people may be neighbors of yours and you aren't even aware. :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Paula, you are a true friend indeed; few out there would be so willing and so unselfish and I thank you for it.

      I actually have a blast writing these google hubs; it is my release and I sit out here in the studio laughing out loud all by myself...which could or could not be frightening. :)

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Wow! Well isn't penicillin made out of mold? Maybe it willl be a cure for stupidity too? Lol

      I am so amazed at some of the things people will do - I mean who needs to ask what happens if you cheat on taxes? Id say - just give me your tax money and I'll pay the IRS for you. Promise! Lol

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 5 years ago from Wales

      Oh yes yes Billy my dear friend this is a jewel full of a wonderful and just a little dry sense of humour;the best in my mind!!!

      I bet that Bev also has a similar sense of humour ???!!!

      I cannot rightly say which part is my favourite because I loved it all!!Wow !!!

      At the moment I think I am on the same plane as you where I can find something to write about from anything and everything.

      Thank you so much my very dear friend for sharing this gem and here's to many many many more!!!

      Enjoy your day and take care,

      Eddy.

    • ThePracticalMommy profile image

      Marissa 5 years ago from United States

      Go figure people are worried about their taxes and money now, AFTER the deadline to submit taxes..tsk. And then trying to garner some sympathy by saying they're discouraged and depressed. Are they in denial about being discouraged and depressed?? Better go mix some moldy food and stay awake all night...

      Funny again, Bill! :D

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 5 years ago from New York

      Your sense of humor is only exceeded by your writing style!

      Just when I was about to take that expired medicine, I read your hub.

      The 'stupid' of the world may unite against you but the rest of us love this hub! Of course the sad part is you're telling the truth! Heaven help us.

      Voted up, funny and SHARING.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      bill....you put a lot of time and thought into this......yes, I know you do this every time...but this one took a bit of extra.

      I am so sad that you are discouraged and depressed. Being the helpful and compassionate individual that I am.....I cannot sit idly by and leave such a special friend in distress. I must practice a random act of kindness......so since you're thinking of starving yourself to cleanse your mind and body (GREAT idea, by the way!).....if you'd please bag up all the food you won't be eating, I'll pick it up asap!! Don't thank me. I'm happy to help, anytime. UP ++

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Rahul, thank you sir! There are some interesting people out there for sure. Glad you enjoyed my hub!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Jeannie, I hate to think about some of the things I've eaten but I certainly didn't do a search to find out about it...I just swallowed and figured if I shouldn't have it will be coming back up soon. :) Thank you my friend and I owe you a visit which I will honor soon.

    • rahul0324 profile image

      Jessee R 5 years ago from Gurgaon, India

      Intriguing off course! Strange why some people behave in such abnormal ways!

      Some day out of irritation a normal dude may search " Why people google the stupidest things in the world"

      A very interesting thought put forward! Voted up!

    • Jeannieinabottle profile image

      Jeannie InABottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD

      So basically, I've learned that people want to eat expired food and take expired medicine. Also, everyone is concerned about taxes and paying bills. Wow, as a society we must be broke, sad, and desperate. Oh, and stupid... definitely stupid. Honestly, I have to admit... I've maybe eaten some bread with mold on it a time or two. You scrape that stuff off, you can barely tell. Ummm... I shouldn't have admitted that, right?

      Fun hub! Voted up!

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      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Cliff, I don't know whether to laugh or cry at some of these searches, but they are food for a hub so I'll just be grateful. Thank you for visiting and I'll stop by your site shortly.

      bill

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Weestro, you have me laughing. You may very well be right about that. There is silliness all around us, intentional or not. Thank you my friend and have a great day!...

      bill

    • Cliff Mendrez profile image

      Cliff Mendrez 5 years ago from Philippines

      I write a lot of articles to answer common questions people search for on the web and I must say I have seen so many nonsense questions such as these. Another interesting take on nonsense things, billybuc. Up and sharing!

    • weestro profile image

      Pete Fanning 5 years ago from Virginia

      Great hub Billbuc! I think we have some of these people asking questions on Hubpages as well!! Voted up!