The Man With No Gift
This is a nonsense poem about trying to think about what to get somebody as a Christmas present and not wanting it to be something normal and expected. This is the perfect example of something that hardly ever happens, unless in nonsense poems of course.
The Man With No Gift
I was thinking of a friend
And what to get him as a gift
Something special for Christmas
To give him a bit of a lift.
I was trying to think of an unusual item
Something beyond compare
I didn't want to get him the normal thing
Some socks or underwear.
I was trying to think of something
I didn't know what it could be
When this guy came up
And made an offer to me.
The thing that he offered
Is that for one day
My friend could be turned into
Anyone in the world that i would say.
If i was thinking logically
I don't even think i would
But i decided to try
And asked for Clint Eastwood.
I gave him some money
The price he'd asked before
But now he said he'd do it
For a few dollars more.
Next time i seen my friend
I couldn't believe it , but of course
He'd turned into the guy
From Magnum Force.
His name wasn't Harry
And he wasn't very dirty
But he was walking like a star
And acting real flirty.
I asked him "do you feel lucky"
I wasn't sure what he would say
Until Clint-like he muttered
This really does make my day.
He started the day as the man with no gift
And became the man with no name
And for using that line in this poem
I am the man with no shame.
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