jump to last post 1-7 of 7 discussions (7 posts)

Can doing a "good deed" for someone be a source of discomfort to some?

  1. pstraubie48 profile image87
    pstraubie48posted 5 years ago

    Can doing a "good deed" for someone be a source of discomfort to some?

    A well intended thoughtful gesture may make the one who receives it feel an overwhelming need to repay the gesture.  You, of course, will have no way of knowing that in most cases. What to do?


  2. bravewarrior profile image91
    bravewarriorposted 5 years ago

    Only to those who do not love their fellow man and expect return without offering a part of themselves!  Never stop doing good deeds.  You give from your soul.  If the act is well received, thank God.  If it is degraded, pray to God.  Always be who you are if giving is part of your soul.  Rise and shine.  God knows who you are!

  3. Mazzy Bolero profile image77
    Mazzy Boleroposted 5 years ago

    Unfortunately, there is some truth is the saying "no good deed ever goes unpunished."  Helping people sometimes makes them feel a) indebted or b) weak (depending on the type of help)  Even when they really need help and you are doing it out of friendship or out of the goodness of your heart, expecting nothing back, the very fact that they need to accept help makes them feel vulnerable and incapable and that's not a good feeling. Sometimes, when they feel stronger, they feel resentment towards you. They may realize it is unreasonable, but people can always construct some rationale for it.  Sometimes it's because they themselves would not help someone without expecting something for themselves out of it, and that's sad, really.  Real friends, however, are more likely to accept help in the spirit it's given.

  4. edhan profile image61
    edhanposted 5 years ago

    I always believe in a friend in need is a friend indeed. I do believe in Karma & Merits and doing things to help others without having thoughts of return is my motto.

    Good things come after what you have done to help others without you even thinking of them. It is a natural cycle of Karma & Merits.

  5. Tusitala Tom profile image63
    Tusitala Tomposted 5 years ago

    There is possibly a way out.  It wouldn't work in all cases, of course.  But what about anonymity?   That is, you help them out but they never know who it was who did it for them. 

    For example, many years ago I stuffed a few dollars into an envelope and left them in the letter box of a woman who lived a few streets away who I knew was very poor.    She happened to be a friend of my wife.

    It was very gratifying to overhear her say to my wife  - as I was mowing the lawn in my front garden eyes averted  - how grateful she was to some 'good Samaritan' who helped her out just when she was really worried about paying her bills.

    To her dying day she never found out who it was.

  6. vveasey profile image84
    vveaseyposted 5 years ago

    Yes it can.
    To avoid that happening ask the person if they would like you to do the good deed or not...if they not, do not, if say do it..do it

  7. profile image0
    Garifaliaposted 5 years ago

    You have to 'feel' it out. What I mean is, take the person's personality into careful consideration before deciding 'how' to help. Then do the good deed, of course, but in a way that it will be acceptible to that individual.