How do you let your past go?

1. 77

   skyfireposted 12 years ago

   How do you let your past go?
   
   Many of us have some rough past and something that haunts us every now and then. How do you let go of things in past and live in present?

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2. 69

   ienjoythisposted 12 years ago

   Realizing that everyone makes mistakes. To move on, look past the inevitable human error and understand that we learn and become better. Above all, we must forgive ourselves or those who have hurt us. Forgiveness sets us free.

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3. 60

   HoneyBBposted 12 years ago

   If what happened in the past is something that can be resolved or has the potential to give somebody justice, then that should be taken care of whether it be a confession or an apology going out or coming in even if you are the giver and the receiver of either or both. Sometimes if you say something out loud over and over again the significance of it shrinks. In some cases, you may need to seek psychiatric help to put it behind you. Whatever it is that needs to be let go of, the best way to do it is to train your brain to live for today is to write down all the positive things that have happened in your past that you want to keep with you in your present. Write down all the positive things in your present that you have and think of all the reasons the things in your past have no place in your life today. Set small goals and with each new accomplishment comes good feelings that overpower the bad. When bad things happen to people sometimes it feels as though letting it go will mean that it didn't really matter. Admit that it mattered when it happened but that it is over now, nothing can change it, but what you do now can change what you have in your present and future. Don't allow thoughts to destroy your present or predict your future. If you're religious, you could Give it to God or whoever it is you pray to but give it away. Just let it go!

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   1. 69

      Tusitala Tomposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Good advice, and well written.

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4. 82

   pstraubie48posted 12 years ago

   For me it has not always been easy. There have been a few 'biggies' that took a lot of soul searching to be able to get past. One thing I did was to assess if not letting go was a stumbling block to my life. Once I had done so and determined that, yes, in fact it was a stumbling block, I knew I had no choice but to let go.
   That does not mean that it is totally erased from my memory and thoughts of the particular situation do not come to mind. It just means that I have distanced myself enough from it that it no longer intrudes on my daily living.
   Easy? No not at all.
   Necessary?? Absolutely. It has allowed me to quit trying to second guess the past. And, for that  I am very thankful.

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5. 73

   Mr. Happyposted 12 years ago

   I try to learn from past experiences: understand, accept and move on having learned something. Sometimes it is harder, sometimes it is easier. I heard a First Nations Elder say once that: "We have to learn to live with the past and not in the past."
   All the best to everyone!

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6. 75

   Shyron E Shenkoposted 12 years ago

   I think we, all of us has to learn to live in the present and not dwell on the past, and to do that we need to strive to be better people than we were yesterday, forgiving ourselves and anyone else who has done us harm.

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7. 75

   flacoinohioposted 12 years ago

   Your question is challenging because it is not specific and it is likely to invite a plethora of preaching, a mixture of usable and worthless psychology,and self disclosure from commenters.  While there are theories in psychology about how to deal with your past issues, it is really up to you how you deal with them.  People tend to repeat past mistakes and generational cycles of abuse, addiction, and self destructive behavior. Most often this is due to a skills deficiency or a behavior.  Either way one must learn new skills to overcome a deficiency or to eliminate a behavior.  Therapy can assist with the development of new coping skills and recognizing behaviors and skills deficiencies, but a therapist and a support system cannot make a person choose to "let go".  Letting go cannot be accomplished until a person is ready to let go.  I don't know if this gaggle of words is helpful in regards to actually answering this question, but I hope it encourages some self reflection.

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8. 68

   Lily Lunaposted 12 years ago

   The really hard ones I do a meditation where I imagine cutting away the emotions from the memory like a rope attachment.  This has helped me MANY times...it really works.

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9. 75

   Andy McGuireposted 12 years ago

   Lock your past in a box with a pissed off honey badger, take the box to the desert and bury it. Drive home. Live life.

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10. 85

    jansharesposted 12 years ago

    By trying to focus on any lesson learned regarding your strengths, character, survivor skills, or wisdom gained from your past. Much easier said than done, especially if what haunts you wasn't your fault. But it's important to pull something out of your negative experiences that you can turn around and translate into some type of gain or growth from within that you manifest today in a positive way. Creative journaling (long-hand) is a magical way to get the negative out of your system. For example, write about a bad event on loose leaf paper, how it affected you, and then destroy it by either ripping it up, flushing it, or burning it. It will symbolically help you begin to release your past.

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11. 69

    cebutouristspotposted 12 years ago

    Its hard but the important thing is that you dont do it again.  Learn from it.
    The most important thing is Learning to forgive yourself.    Once you done that you may have glimpse of it but it wont be as hard to move forward

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12. 59

    Tarun Bajajposted 12 years ago

    Well sometimes it is an uphill task, to forget the past, but there are ways that can make this difficult time a bit easy like,
    ->keep busy yourself in some kind of work that interests you.
    ->don't dare to be alone, because it's when a guilty feeling comes to the mind, and can turn out behavior after it can be dangerous.
    ->meet your friends, ask them if a situation seems really hard to let go off.
    ->Think about present because it's what we fully possess and not past that is lost but the future that depends on this moment.
    SO, this is how i do it:)

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13. 61

    tksabresinosposted 12 years ago

    To be able to let your past go you must stop carrying it. That saying out of sight outta mind is a good way to let it go. Live the present and look to the future. There are many instances I've seen in many forms of media where a character has to go deal with something in his past. They do what they can to resolve it to the best of their ability then they move on. There's always tomorrow to make a new past to remember one day.

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