No real friends as you get older.

1. 51

   shyllahebertposted 11 years ago

   No real friends as you get older.
   
   Is it just me, or the older you get you finnaly realize the only people that are there for you no matter what is family? No real friends left anymore.

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2. 61

   Martin VKposted 11 years ago

   Im only 22, and I know alot of people, but only very few of them are true friends. And even these few ones sometimes disappoint me, or I disappoint them, but we stay friends through compromise, and because we realize how important it is for us. I feel fortunate to have just a few real friends. I don't expect many of them.

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3. 51

   shyllahebertposted 11 years ago

   Im 34 and had many friends. But as time passes people change and your prioities change. Im speaking from self experience. Ive lost 2best friends to drugs. They were my friends for over 17 years. If you do have something special, hd on tight and I wish you the best.

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4. 43

   DDEposted 11 years ago

   So true I too feel the same way real friends if you had any would still be there till you old or gray right, but if you never had true or real friends, it shows when you get older, and family well you can always count on them.

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   1. 61

      Penny Gposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I have had work friends, they change jobs, you don't see them much. If I don't make the effort I don't hear from them anymore. Truly I'm not a modern day woman and just don't fit in I guess.

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5. 87

   Billie Kelpinposted 11 years ago

   I'm 68 and don't have the problem of feeling that people aren't there for me.  My problem is that I have to be somewhat inauthentic to connect with people in recent years.  My daughter, I feel, is the only person who "gets" what I'm saying and with whom I can be authentic (not necessarily in relation to issues about HER) but in discussions about politics, religion, art, life, everything.  I had two colleagues in Minneapolis, one a young man who was like the son I never had, and my director.  The 3 of us were quite simpatico and it was wonderful. I find the new view of Christianity as expressed by my friends very off putting to me and I really can't talk to ANYONE about my religious beliefs or non-belief or about politics except here on hubpages. Even though many people disagree with me here, there are a few souls on hubpages that I feel close to because they see things as I do. I do express myself in other ways on the web, but without revealing my identity   I feel that anonymously, I can be my authentic self.  So, it's quite lonely in that respect, but I am grateful for the WONDERFUL real friends I do have even if I can't connect on all levels.

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6. 60

   duffsmomposted 11 years ago

   Yes, that is true for me. I spent years totally immersed in raising family and spending time with family and unfortunately I neglected making friends outside of that circle. And yes, at my age, 62 next week, it has come back to bite me in the backside.

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   1. 79

      loveofnightposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      You sound a little like me, but what I am learning to do now is to open myself up to making friends, which is something that I really did not do before.

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   2. 61

      Penny Gposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Oh I can so relate. I raised 6 children, and had job, as well as a husband who was helpless. You get busy, time flies by and friends move on. Some friends actually got upset when I couldn't be apart of things as the circumstances were different .

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7. 38

   Borsiaposted 11 years ago

   I'm close to 60 and I would disagree I have old friends who are there for me and some new ones as well.
   Of my family, my immediate family is there for me but I lost connection with my extended family long ago. I had 1 aunt who was always there for me and my grandmother but both have passed long ago.
   The trick to having friends who are there for you is to chose them wisely and to be there for them.
   I would say that my old friends are there thick or thin but the new friends not to the same degree, which is to be expected.

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8. 87

   Patty Inglish, MSposted 11 years ago

   A lot of older people I know feel that it is the other way around - family is never there, but friends are ALWAYS there for them.
   
   The stance may depend upon whether the family is abusive or not, abusive family members not really "being there." I've seen 100s of abused people as clients and there seem to be 1000s of all ages that cannot depend on their families - ever.
   
   Or someone could be like me - all the family is dead. It's friends or nothing!.

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9. 38

   thomasczechposted 11 years ago

   Interesting question. I am 45 years old, I don't have many friends. Part of that is that after leaving the military, I pretty much separated myself and my family from everyone. Moved to the country etc. I wanted to be left alone. Part of that was due to PTSD the other part was that I had trust issues. The friends I had were always wanting to use me.
   Another factor is what others mentioned, raising family. The children become ones world and ofcourse are the most important part of life.
   Now I have a couple of friends that I hope I can count on if needed.

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