A difficult one to answer without offending people.
I have made massive changes in my own life, and the battle is between you and your inner voice, it tends to lie to you to make things easier and create excuses so you can procrastinate and not do the hard stuff in life (and no I am not a crazy person hearing voices in my head!).
You have to make a plan, write it out and stick to it, there may be some tweaking on the way but you have to not slide back into your old habits. To be brutally honest, people are lazy and want the easy way out, you have to have some backbone and not come up with excuses (which I am sure most people are already doing while reading this).
You may upset other people on the way, but real friends will understand, and the ones that do not, well they were probably not your real friends anyway and they will disapear because you are not there to enable them.
I have tried and had much success with this, see what you think, there are some interseting bits on here.
http://www.hypnosismagicsecrets.com/200 … e-my-life/
Ego is that inner voice of dissent. Pasting mechanisms over the top of it won't fix it. Only Truth will set you free.
You have exactly what it takes to succeed .Sounds like you have tried and tested this. Working in a treatment Prison so many of the methods are used and our men have a high success rate.
It is a mind set, if you think positively and maintain that attitude positive changes will stick! Make sure you have a great support system from friends and family. I have a positive change in my life that I am about to take and I know that the support of my family and friends is what will make it stick for me!
asked by SPwrite 41 years ago
Wow, only seven answers in 41 years, amazing, well here is my spin.
It is a matter of letting go of the past, once we can stop reflecting on, or living in the past, we are able to move foward into the future.
I have found my solace in the Lord, it is not for all, but for me this works.
Why is it so difficult to make permanent, positive changes in one's life? Is there a recommended way to make a positive change stick once and for all?
I think the reason it is so hard to change is Trust...we don't trust that it is right to change. We know about what we are doing now, but to trust ourselves that we know what is best for us. That is the reson, when one wants to quit drinking or smoking, whatever, they say, "I did it for you or I will do it for you".
I have a major in psychology and focused on this area at University. However, I made more dramatic changes in my life before going to University. I am not going to delve into my past and how I changed.
However, I am going to point to a book that turned my life around 360 degrees. It is called "psychocybernetics." It was written by a plastic surgeon named Maxual Maltz. I should write a Hub on this sometime.
If you look hard enough on the internet you can find it in an ebook. If you find a large second hand book store you may be able find the pocket book there.
Caution: you have to carry this book around with you all the time. Read and re-read it. I promise you it will change your life! Take 30 days out of your life and jump into this book and practice the cognitive rehearsal techniques he uses.
Just a little hint here. I know I said I wouldn't tell anyone about my history. I went from being homeless to earning straight A's through University (masters degree) and on to a job as a Federal Parole Officer! And, I started university when I was 39 years old!
I did this all by myself. No help from anyone accept my mother, bless her soul. No support system. Nobody holding my hand and so on. Just from this amazing book!
I have to also say this. The biggest hurdle ahead of anyone is fear of the unknown. Think about it for a moment. If you succeed in changing say your lifestyle you will have to associate with different people. How are you going to interact with these people? This is pretty scary for many people. That's why this book is so important.
Have a great day and never, never give up!
Depending on what you consider a positive change - I guess the decision is well thought of before you carry it out. To actually stick to a positive change for once and all shouldn't be that hard because you know it is positive (or did I misinterpret the question?!). The rest depends on personal strength...
Making permanent life changes usually requires a commitment to planning and moderation. Both are great for stability but both suck at producing endorphins. In concert, planning and moderation suck exponentially at endorphin production. While stability may be preferential it is rarely exciting in the moment.
I think it's because of the way our brain is wired.
Imagine your brain synaptic path as a road. We tend to think a certain way causing 'ruts' in the road. The more we think along a certain path, the deeper the rut, the more likely your wagon is going to get stuck in it.
The fact that you realize your 'in a rut' is fantastic.
Now all you have to do is make a new rut. This time, you get to make one that you consciously decide you want rather then just letting the rut form from the mud.
I would say that you could change your rut once and for all. It won't be easy, but practice makes habits, and habits make ruts.
Huh. I like that. I should start making a couple new ruts. Then I'll write more.
It's difficult because we have been programmed to think about the lack in our lives, which causes us to doubt our abilities to succeed in our endeavors.
I recommend: Not letting your doubts get the better of you, and following your intuition always.
A little meditation never hurt anything either
Life is simply dynamic and flexible, under this context permanent positive change as you put it is nearly and impossibility. The solution is you have to be dynamically capable of changing with trends too, personal or non personal.
You have to change people, places, and things; and not look back.
Yes, it is simply a mental thing...an attitude or mindset. Many years ago I quit smoking. At the time, I was a flyer in the Air Force in a multi-position cockpit...four people on the flight deck. Others among the crews smoked so it was an environment where you were exposed even if you did not smoke. It was not the ideal place to quit but I did and I did it more easily than any other time at which I hade quit before and failed. I accomplished it because my body and my brain were in harmony...i wanted to do it and I envisioned myself doing it. There was no sense of remorse or anger yet at the same time there was no celebrations as I feared failure for a long time. My point is this. If you want to make a positive change in your life, first make up your mind that you are going to do it, second, envision yourself not only doing it but after you have done it. Third...do it! WB
Actually it is quite easy IF you really want to!!
At 17 I was in a store and these older people were doing nothing but compalining - I got so sick of tired of listening that I almost told them to shut up - but what I did was told myself/made a promise to myself THAT when I became their age I was not going to become one of them - I caught myself at 40 and reminded myself of that vow - today at 64 I have learned how to take a realistic view of the world/situtation and act accordingly.
What I find myself going against these day's is this 'positive mental attitude' crap. I feel it's just a bucket of crap And the reason is these people don't want you to say anything that's not positive OR to always be positive.
Now in this world of ours - there is the good, bad, and neutral, but these 'postive' people apparantely can't handle reality.
I have trained myself for the most part to take a hard look at each situation and act accordingly - are there going to be good, bad and so/so things going - of course there are - just digest the situation and either act accordingly or learn from it.
i think it takes a long time for example: giving up a long term realtionship bad boyfriend......it can take a year to get over.....you have to: IMO pray, stay positive, coping skills
It is difficult to make changes because we live by habits created over time. Habitual behavioue works by rewarding us with either positive or negative reinforcement. So if we want something to change for some reason it is better to make it a habit.
To make something work though requires us to motivate oursleves for a period of time. This period is different for everyone and depends on other factors, so one person might decide to give up smoking and be ok, others might replace smoking with food, others try for a week and go back to their cigarettes.
Those who return to an old habit or behavior then often punish themselves internally as a failure, claiming to themselves that not succeeding was their fault and they are a bad person. Whereas it is merely a failure to create a new and better habit.
It is possible to make positive change, but it is hard work, keep a goal in mind and make these steps to the goal easily attainable at first.
For someone wanting to give up smoking, give up for the next hour, then increase the time to reinforce the positive feedback. Don't self punish but accept a slip and start over, you are not a failure,you had succeeded in moving toward your goal and can do it again. Another thing is not to make something a comparison with someone else, if losing weight or giving up smoking don't get into comparing yourself with a friend or relative who lost x pounds in a week or gave up smoking for twenty years, challenge yourself by all means but don't challenge yourself by measuring your achievement against others.Eventually you will change your behavior to make a positive change.
Change of any kind is not easy. You first have to decide how important it is to you. Then you have to work at it. You have to be consitant and positive and know that eventually it will become a habit. You have to be lenient with yourself when you fall back into the old way of doing things because you will. It takes time and patience. Even when you've mastered it, one day you'll find yourself falling into the old pattern again. But then you'll easily recognize it and pull yourself out of it before you fall too far backwards. Be gentle and forgiving with yourself and know that you're on the right path. You don't have to be perfect. Just try to be consistant.
in life, there's so many obstacles that will influence your mental thoughts, things happen for a reason. You just need to accept some of those reasons.
How long can you resist the undertow of negativity? Negativity will never resist you. You must accept it. Only then will the currents of positivity embrace you and keep you afloat.
I think there is no "recommended way" to make positive change to stick.....it's a life long quest to recognize the negative and make an effort to make positive changes in our lives.
It's through our attitude and always readjusting that on a daily basis which can be a challenge. I think being positive at all times would be difficult to maintain. In reality being and feeling positive do fluctuate depending upon circumstances in my life. It's through doing the best we can each day and not to give up or loose the hope within us will enable to keep feeling positive, along with doing productive activities and enjoying what we do in our lives.
We cannot change what Others do.
We can only change what WE do.
It should not be difficult.
It depends on individual determination. If you want a positive changes in life then you will need to focus on your goal and mix with people who are also positive minded.
Write down what you want and paste it on your computer, wall, etc so that you can see what is your goal daily when you wake up and doing work. It will help to constantly reminding you of your positive changes and you will soon be doing it daily.
Yes there is and because it is so easy it sticks in the mind. Try this very easy but powerful mantra.
Im sorry, Please forgive me, I love you, Thank you.
Say it to yourself all the time and feel and see the instant love and positive changes happening.
It is an ancient Hawaii technique called Ho'oponopono. Check it out.
In the interests of (hopefully) making this a what-did-they-say? kind of anwer I will offer the following about change and permanency:
...we all live in a perfect world according to our (individual) core beliefs and assumptions..
and since this is a perfect world, who could be expected to change it?
(I should add that I hold the belief that we all live/exist in our own individual realities, or 'frames of reference'. This is important to keep in mind, as this belief maintains that every feature of our realities supports and is supported by our core beliefs, including the 'bad parts'.)
Ever notice how an obese person might lose tremendous amounts of weight but evertually goes back to being heavy, or the alcoholic, despite being totally willing to acknowledge that their drinking is doing so, so much harm, still goes back to it?
That is because they are living in the perfect world!
The fact of the matter is that it is reality we are talking about, and because of this we maintain our personal realities with our energy, (whatever you might call the lifeforce/spiritual energy) that is invested in every aspect of our lives. The abused wife, the troubled young person...all living in perfect worlds.
Needless to say, I am not using the word 'perfect' with the connotation of being good, of positive value. I am simply trying to imply that the world we all encounter everyday of our lives matches a set of beliefs and assumptions that we hold about life and the world at large....perfectly.
...and yes even with this it is possible to have changes in our lives that are permanent, but will you get that with any of the "Change you Life in 21 Days"! no frickin way.
Someone remarked years ago, that the greatest form of insanity is to do the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. It's common,( as I know from personal experience) to revert to what is seemingly more comfortable, familiar territory only to say " How did I end up here again?" In the service I had to run five miles a day, while still smoking over a pack of Kools. 45 cents a pack I might add. After hacking up my lungs for several days,I decided that smoking was really bad for me, gave away most of a carton and haven't had a cig in 30 years. Some resolve is easier to find than the other, but that's the only answer...
Discipline and motivation... easier said than done tho.
In order to make positive permanent changes in life you have to want to make the change and by wanting it, you have to live it, breathe it, feel it like it like it's your own skin. Put a plan in place, type it out on your computer, and save it and read it weekly. we all have procedures/work instructions we have to follow at our work place correct? What I have done is bring that home with me. Write out my wants/desires then write out procedures on how to go about making them happen. What do I have to do short term, and long term to reach my goal. Write out the steps which would consist of daily, weekly, monthly processes you have to set for yourself. Then every 2-3 months, go back and rate yourself, or ask a friend to rate how you have done in reaching your goals. If you have met your expectations, then you are still on the right path, if you have exceeded your expectations give yourself a reward, go to dinner, buy yourself something you have been wanting, have a little party. something to celebrate your accomplishments. You will start to feel like you do when you get that raise for doing a good job at work. I don't mean it to sound like a job, but changing and making it stick is a job at first then it becomes second nature to you (a habit). Just make it fun and about you.
But you have to be honest with yourself when you are evaluating yourself. what areas did you fall below your expectations, and what areas did you soar in? Make it about you and make it fun...
Life is not permanent and what seems positive one day can change. I think a helpful practice when times feel rough is to go through everything bothering you and allow it to be okay. If you're pissed, that's okay. If you didn't make a change last, that's okay. If you're successful, that's okay too. Each day is filled with many things that can be blessings and/or challenges. Keep loving yourself for being on the journey, see that it's okay that things outside of you are hectic, but you can be the calm, the okay through it all. Much love to you all!
Definitely a mental mindset. It's determination, perseverance, and dedication. You have to firmly see the goal in your mind. Then you have to block out all the obstacles that might impede your progress towards the goal.
Focusing singlemindedly upon the outcome allows you to ignore those things that can cause you to derail from your chosen path. It is all about YOU legitimately deciding upon a course of action. Do not allow anything to stop you from achieving your goals.
unfortunately you would have to get rid of all your negativity including family members and friends, or keep them at a distance, and only see them a few times a year, but it can be achieved.
Burn (figuratively) every thing in your past that ever caused you to fall, fail, go back on your promise or return to a vice that keeps you from being awesome. If you burn your bridges and turn away from people who want you to fail or be miserable like them, that your positive changes will stick more often.
Always and never are words I try not apply when speak about human behavior. Logic doesn't always prevail and sometimes the comforts of our failure are more intoxicating than the uncertainty of positive changes we strive toward!
I keep a clear picture in my head of what I want in my life. When I have a chance to act on it, I do. If something happens that seems like it's taking me in a different direction, but somehow feels right, I go for it.
If something happens that feels depressing, I refuse it, if possible. If not, I still keep it a low priority, whereas my goal is a high priority. If I have to choose between them, I choose my goal.
The trick is to know what you really want.
So many great answers , We also must be concience of the hardwired patterns of personality and character passed on to us by our genes and hence the same ones we pass on to our offspring. How many times have you heard or said , "he's just like his father , or mother". To make major changes in our lives we must be aware ,comepletely of this.Any change though is possible , Impulse control , on a simpler level ,must be under our control .
The human brain craves routines and habits and yearns for the next experience to be pretty much like the last one. As such, when you fall into a habitual routine your brain has a powerful incentive to not break free from it, even to the point that your brain will release "feel good" chemicals when you partake the routine that you won't get if you are trying to break it. It takes a determined will, dedication, and most importantly time to train the brain out of its old ways and into the new habits you want. This makes the chances for failure high unfortunately.
Patience and motivation. It is tough to take the step to make changes. Sticking to them is even tougher. But with patience and the right motivation, it'll happen. There's no rush either. Day at a time, roll with the punches.
recently I have made some choices with lifestyle and health. I failed. I tried again and some are still with me. What I feel at this moment is I allowed it. I know that sounds funny, but that is what I did. I am working or struggling with some of the other decisions still, yet I am learning with each new changed behavior. I think acceptance of the choice, allowing its fruition, and realization there are consequences both good and bad. I have had to break out the scales to both balance and decide my willingness to accept those consequences. \
An example: I am diabetic. I drank diet sodas about 10 yrs now. Mainly because it is my source for my aching sweet tooth. I am against aspartame. No more diet sodas. Now I drink water and sneak candy. A dilemma I am dealing with. It goes on and on, yet like Wayne and others said it is the mind, body, spirit in agreement and allow it to happen with whatever the consequences are. Then work on those if need be.
Sorry, for getting so long winded
you just have to pick a goal and stick to it work through one thing at a time
It is hard to make positive changes until the habit conflicts one of your core values. A part of your life you want to improve must become something you value greatly.
Keep trying to do what's right and positive and RESOLVE not to go back on your position. This must come from your heart, and you must choose your company well as what you do, mostly, relates with what your close confidants do. Remember, as someone once alleged: "A magnet will never attract wood!". You attract values you possess ... so stop complaining about the people and the thoughts you attract, since you must be like that! (what you attract).
However, even as you attempt to stick to your guns, please read the following words of wisdom from the King Solomon of the Bible in Ecclesiastes 9:11
New American Standard Bible (©1995)
I again saw under the sun that the race is not to the swift and the battle is not to the warriors, and neither is bread to the wise nor wealth to the discerning nor favor to men of ability; for time and chance overtake them all.
you cannot change a person. But you can be a reason for a person to change!
Every change comes from your personal decision. So once that is done, Stick with it and never turn back. You can also seek out mentors living the life you desire, they can be there for you when your motivation runs low
From what I have read, it all hinges on being able to create a new positive habit to supplant the old negative one.
Apparently, if you can consistently persevere with the new behaviour for about thirty days, it will take hold as a new habit.
All actions take place because of our thinking. Right thinking produces right actions while wrong thinking produces wrong actions. The difficulty of change is breaking out of the comfort zone of our present set of wrong thoughts.
Since we become or do what we think about most, the best way to make a positive change permanent is to gain control of our thinking in relationship to the desired result that we want.
For example, lets say you have gained 30 pounds over the last six months and you have a goal of losing that weight during the next 6 months.
After all other factors are considered; the cause of the weight gain is determined to have been caused by consistent late night high calorie “ snacks ” before going to bed.
Armed with this knowledge, carefully analyze your thinking patterns that lead to the detrimental eating habits and thus the unwanted weight. Begin to challenge and replace each thought as it arises. A wrong thought with a right thought based on what you want to accomplish.
Instead of thinking about how satisfying the taste of a pint of chocolate ice cream will taste look at a picture you have posted on your refrigerator of an ideal body image of yourself or someone else that represents your desired results.
Obviously, this method along will not solve every need for lasting change, however if the fundemental principles are applied, it will contribute towards that end.
Hope this helps :-)
Yes,it is a little bit difficult, because that is the way we are brought up.From the childhood itself the family,the education, everything contributes to the shaping of our life.And that is the problem.We should be the Owner of our life.Unfortunately we are advised not to trust our heart.We are told to think rationally.that is ok.,but some times that will not be our heart's decision.so we can't stick to it forever..So the best thing to do is whenever we take a decision let it come from our inner heart.And try to trust the heart and follow it..Each and every moment listen to the heart and do what it tells to do..and feel how vibrant life is...!
Because change always involves dealing with the unknown. It is easier dealing with things we know no matter if the results aren't what we want because we always know what they'll be.
A positive change can stick if you keep reminding yourself WHY you made that change.
Change is always difficult but it your your attitude to it that makes all the difference. An important thing to note first is that you have to change the mindset that it is 'difficult'.
To make sure you stick to the change you made is to remember why you did it in the first place. Once you get the positive reaffirmation, there are more chances you would stick to it.
It is also advisable to list down the changes you want to make and changes you have made and why. Read it every morning. If you gain by making these changes write down your achievments, once you see the difference it made, you are more likely to stick to it.
First of all, you have to 'train yourself' to have a positive attitude to life and especially to all the obstacles that life brings everyday to your life...we are all built differently and many of us have genetic predisposition to depressive moods and feelings of helplessness, many of us had to 'fight to survive' many times in our lives....but I believe, in spite of our genetical makeup and environmental issues, humans are resilient and resourceful bunch, who always find the way out....just remember that and keep going...
Any sincere devotee will tell you that it is not easy. You will stumble and fall and stumble and fall ... Please keep getting up and keep trying. God is enjoying His cosmic game or Lila. For that, He has given us a Soul to manifest or glorify His name. There are different ways to approach this. Two major ones are the way of the Mind and the way of the Heart. Spiritual Directors say that the way of the Heart is an easier approach.
Think of yourself as a servant in a rich man's house. When the work is finished, you will go to your home. The idea here is that you are to remain detached. Never try to reap the fruit of your actions. Simply work or serve. You can do this through the path of selfless action or the path of devotion. The latter is the quicker.
So in a nutshell, it is like this.
1. God first,second and last.
2. Prayer both vocal and interior, as this is necessary to attract His Grace which is itself necessary for transformation of your lower nature.
3. Serve ceaselessly. That is to say, be motivated by an inner thrill to feel and care for all God's children without conditions. Prayer will teach you this.
4. Yes. Once you have found a method that TRULY works, never change it.
5. It is useful to have an illumined Soul to teach you. If you find one, then this comes first.They are exceptionally rare, so pray to the Supreme Himself to teach you, and all will be well.
6. Cultivate the spirit of patience and acceptance. God never hurries. Love for love's sake. God speed!
Likely not. Your life changes everyday. Its a constant pace we are struggling to keep up in our everyday and well into our tomorrow. It would be boring if we didn't have a little contrast like surprises. Disappointments. Challenges. To come into our lives unannounced. Keeps LIFE interesting. I think God designed it way. So we can grow and learn from our mistakes or learn to study and achieve greater accomplishments in our lives.
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