Thought, Part II

1. 83

   gmwilliamsposted 5 years ago

   
   
   Not every woman wants children.  They had fulfilling lives-friends, careers, hobbies, & other interests.  Why do some people unthinking assume that if you are a woman, you SHOULD have children.  They even go far enough to assert that all women have a maternal instinct- nothing is further than the truth.  These are the same people who attack women who elect to be childfree. They even lash out at childfree women stating that they are "somehow unfulfilled."  What makes such people assert that all women should have children whether they want them or not?  They also DENIGRATE women for having careers.   Your thoughts?

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   1. 78

      Credence2posted 5 years agoin reply to this

      I don't recollect my having these kinds of attitudes, but which philosophy better reflects the idea of a woman's status as that of "barefoot and pregnant"?
      
      Only Neaderthols are out there expressing this opinion more often than most of us would have believed. So, who are the people that are so assertive about a woman's role as incubation machines, who and what organizations represent this line of thought?
      
      Who is the ONE person?

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      1. 83

         gmwilliamsposted 5 years agoin reply to this

         Well, there are just some people who cannot accept other lifestyle choices.

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   2. 77

      Kathryn L Hillposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      It is better not to have children if you are not driven to have children. My father was driven. He knew he wanted a family. How did he know? I don't know.
      
      It is okay to not want children. And if you do not want children, follow through. Don't have an oopsie you can't put up with or can't afford.
      
      Oh and one more consideration: Make sure the person you are with is on the same page.
      What is wanted by one ...  might be an ooopsie for the other. 

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      1. 83

         gmwilliamsposted 5 years agoin reply to this

         +10000000000000000000000000000000000, never wanted children at all.  ALWAYS wanted money & a career.   Got the career but wished I have made more money,  Well, these are the BREAKS w/a sociology degree!  When I was a young girl, always wanted a career & money, never wanted children whatsoever.  I found that marriage & children were constricting. No thanks to marriage & kids.  I had MORE FULFILLING interests!
         
         People have children because they are FORCED to by parents, relatives, religion, peers, & other outside influences.  Anne Landers in the 1970s cited a study which over 70% of people stated that if they had to do it over again, they WOULDN'T have children!
         
         Also, the majority of pregnancies are UNPLANNED.  Yes, many babies were oopsie babies.  The attitude of many parents towards their children show that these children are INTRUSIONS & WERE PERHAPS NOT WANTED.  Parents are happy when their children go away to camp in the summer, they are happy when their children go to school in the fall.  Parents see their children as burdens somehow.  Parents scream at their children.  There is also child abuse.   Most parents DIDN'T want their children.  They had them because of OUTSIDE pressure.

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         1. 77

            Kathryn L Hillposted 5 years agoin reply to this

            Sadly, gm, most people are too lazy to deal with children. Just too lazy. They don't want to do what must be done, which is harder than it seems:
            WAKE UP!
            
            They don't want to wake up to the kid tugging at their eyelids in the morning.
            "Aaahgh!... Is it time to deal with you? I can't! I won't! But I guess I have to ... Let's see, let's get some milk and cereal." And that's a good start ...
            
            But kids need even more than the basic necessities of food, shelter and clothing. They need things to DO and focus on so that they can develop the skills they will need to survive in this world. They must become capable and talented at doing SO MANY THINGS!  And what special mission have they come on this earth to do ... are the parents going to help them find it?
            
            For instance, a six year old child I was looking after was quietly working on an activity on the kitchen table. Her grandmother, who she lives with, was not at home and this usually very physically active child was doing something I had never seen before: concentrating on writing numbers on a white board, using markers and small carrdboard shapes. She was coming up with her own math problems. When the grandmother pulled up, I went out to greet her and told her to come in quietly so as to not disturb the child's concentration.
            
            So the grandmother tiptoed in, but after five minutes, she could bear it no more. She blurted out "Stop that! you need to do your home work!" If you do your home work you can go outside and play with the neighbor kids!"
            
            The child wasn't even thinking about going out to play. She was happily working on something that interested her. Her grandmother did not respect her interest, or marvel at her ability to concentrate.
            
            Also, the grandmother is apparently in the habit of sending this little girl out to the street, so she won't be a bother in the kitchen. That this grandmother cannot find a way to allow the child to help her in the kitchen is baffling to me!
            ... and where is her (single) mother?
            Working.

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            1. 83

               gmwilliamsposted 5 years agoin reply to this

               Exactly, the MAJORITY of people AREN'T parent material.  Most parents are IMMATURE parents.  People have children because of OUTSIDE pressure, not because they innately want children.  They secondly have children to EXERCISE POWER...………...think on that!   There are hardly any sincere parents who take joy in parenthood.  They are FORCED to have children & then use their children as THEIR POWER BASE!

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