Making Peace With An Aged Parent

1. 83

   gmwilliamsposted 13 years ago

   Some of the most rewarding and oftentimes contentious relationships we have are with our parents.   The relationship between parent and child goes through many stages ranging from love and adoration of our parents as children, to rebellion against and individuation from our parents as adolescents and young adults to finally coming to terms with them in our middle age.  It is so important for us to make amends with our aging parents if there are any deep seated animosities.    If not, we can never achieve complete peace.  What do you think about this?

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2. 56

   Dame Scribeposted 13 years ago

   It's a two way street one cannot find peace with the other if it is not reciprocated or respect is non-existent. I'd have to say, let the stones fall where they may when a course of action has been chosen against another. Amends can only be gained if confession to one's wrongdoing is acknowledged. Forgiveness can be found but I'd guess, when they are ready.

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   1. 83

      gmwilliamsposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, there are circumstances when a parent is less than positive e.g. an abusive or disrespectful parent.  Then it is best for the child not to interface with such a toxic parent for his/her sanity, self-esteem, and peace of mind.

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3. 56

   Dame Scribeposted 13 years ago

   I would think that if such a break occurred between child and aged parents - the child was abandoned long ago. They (child) would have learned to deal and come to peace of some sort, learning to live with it altogether. Re-establishing contact may not be a thought after having gone through such a major emotional upheaval.

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4. 71

   getitriteposted 13 years ago

   I believe you have basically made a generalized statement.
   
   Sometimes I believe that it is best to remain estranged from a parent, or parents.
   
   Are you assuming that at some point in the child's life there was a time when there was a harmonious relationship?
   
   Sometimes children are treated so badly by their parents, that the last thing they should do is continue, or later, resume a relationship with them.
   
   If the parent showed no love, and never even bothered to bond with a child, then that child doesn't even know that parent...and only knows the pain of not being loved.
   
   No affection. No bond.  Where does one go from there?  There are no amends to be made.

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5. 83

   gmwilliamsposted 13 years ago

   getitrite: I totally concur with you.   What I was addressing that children who had a somewhat harmonious relationship with their parents.  If a child was abused or not loved by his/her parents, it is best for the child to divorce that parent.

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