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Are Internet Affairs Considered Cheating If You're in a Relationship Example Ex Senator Anthony Weiner

Updated on July 29, 2011

Online Affairs

Senator Anthony Weiner

Texting, Online affairs While Married Is It Cheating?

I am sure you have heard the latest news regarding New York State Senator Anthony Weiner. If not let me refresh you on the story. He has a twitter account and a Face book account and for a few seconds a very lewd photograph of him was posted on his Twitter account. He had claimed someone had hacked into his account and had no idea how it happened. Now he has come to terms with the truth because the woman he posted it for came forward. He claims he is very sorry and admitted he has lied but has done nothing wrong as far as upholding his career holding a seat on the Senate. He is married and did apologize to his wife on national TV. As far as I am concerned can he still do a great job? I think when you hold an important job that others look up to you for, you should be accountable for your Ethics and morals. Is it ok to cheat, lie and still be able to uphold an important position in office?

Is it ok to have cyber affairs with women when you are married, even though you are not physically touching or seeing one another. What actually is cheating this is what the Encyclopedia has to say:

Some couples simply believe that cheating constitutes doing anything, whether verbal or physical, that one would not do in front of their significant other. Such examples would include: expressing attraction to another person, electronic communications, texting, data, kissing, making out, and sexual relations.Many people consider cheating to be any violation of the mutually agreed-upon rules or boundaries of a relationship, which may or may not include sexual monogamy. For example, in some polygamous relationships, the concepts of commitment and fidelity do not necessarily hinge on complete sexual or emotional monogamy. Whether polygamous or monogamous, the boundaries to which people agree vary widely, and sometimes these boundaries evolve within each relationship

What I find interesting is each person views boundaries of a relationship in different ways. Some people find that its ok to have internet emotional relationships because they are not physically meeting. " Were just talking or texting" Have you heard this before? There are many personalities in this world and everyone has different view points. You need to discuss in your own relationship what are the boundaries. If you are doing something that you would not do in front of your spouse than you shouldn't be doing it. This would constitute some form of cheating. People that make excuses only justify their behavior. They know deep down it's wrong but they do not care and will go to great lengths to lie and cheat. Most people that need this electric charge and are not fulfilled in their own relationship stems from childhood. They crave the attention and seek it in different ways. The net has been a place where some people think it's harmless because its just the computer. It is not harmless it will become very emotional sharing things with someone on the net when you should be sharing with your spouse.

Being a wife myself I would be very hurt if I found my husband corresponding with women on the net. Exchanging emails or texting. He has a Face Book and has many people on it. Bottom line I trust him and trust is earned. I have no problem giving him my passwords to my email accounts, hub-pages, or Face Book. There is nothing wrong with having one but if it is too tempting for someone than I would suggest not having one. This example are boundaries you need to discuss with your spouse. Hiding and not sharing is one reason why people divorce. It's a broken agreement, this is what divorce is. Open and honest communication will go very far in your relationship. When I went to church one day I was so surprised to actually see a door at the alter. The Pastor walked up to it and said look see this door. He said as he shut the door. You never open this door to intimacy with someone other than your spouse. You and your husband and God has the key to this door. You share and confide in each other. You can share and have friendships but emotional love and intimacy is only shared with your spouse and God. That always stuck with me. There have been times in my life where I have been tempted too and the same with my husband. Staying true and placing and cherishing your relationship is key and God can help you get through any temptation. he will not let you take what you can't handle if you come to him and pray about it.

What do you think? Please feel free to leave comments!



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    • sandylongman profile image

      sandylongman 5 years ago

      No I don't think its respectfull when your married. My husband and Igo out with other couples Its different when your single. My husband doesn't have any female friends he hangs out with me.

    • profile image

      lovedoctor926 5 years ago

      This was a very good thought-provoking hub by the way.

      "Is it okay to have cyber affairs with women when you are married, even though you are not physically touching or seeing one another?"

      No, it's not okay. I consider it cheating. Mutual respect is important in a relationship whether married or uncommitted. You might not be physically touching or seeing one another in person, but you can do so over the phone, through messenger, webcam and Skype. I consider cheating to be a violation of all the boundaries that you listed with the exception of looking or glancing. Your man is not blind and beautiful women and good-looking men are everywhere. My view is that when you do get in a relationship, you have to set firm boundaries. There has to be trust and communication. It's okay for him to have women friends just as long as he introduces you as the girlfriend or wife. As far as the ex girlfriend or girlfriends, if you don't agree with him communicating with them, then you should address it in a way that is not too demanding such as I feel uncomfortable when you talk to her because even though you claim that you are only friends it makes me feel insecure... It's good to show vulnerability.

      One last thing and sorry for this long message. You state that you wouldn't like it if your husband corresponded with women on the net. Are you okay with him having girl friends just as long as it's platonic? How about in the workplace and here on hubpages? just curious.

    • sandylongman profile image

      sandylongman 7 years ago

      I say If your married instead of wasting time and energy online pursuing long distant relationships maybe spending time with the one's you love that are around you is the best choice!

    • profile image

      waxi 7 years ago

      Hi Sandi and all thoes who followed this Hub

      I found an interesting article which augements the Hub and it does support Sandy's point of view Its worth reading so I decided to share with all the participants -Waqxi

      Homepage >Relationships

      Provided by

      Secrets to a Long-Distance Relationship

      PrintSend to a friend

      Relationships can be difficult and adding the considerable strain of long distance can make it considerably harder. But if two people love each other enough, then distance shouldn’t matter, right? Yet despite all the ways technology can help us stay in touch, long distance relationships frequently fail to work out. We sat down with leading relationship experts to find out the secrets to maintaining long distance love and why it so often fails.

      Solving Communication

      According to clinical psychologist, Dr. Rob Dobrenski, the largest barrier of long-distance relationships is lack of face-to-face communication. Couples invariably need not just emotional and physical intimacy, but also the ability to resolve conflicts. This is significantly easier when you can see your partner's facial expressions and non-verbal communication. Phone, text, email, Skype, Morse code, Instant Messaging, Facebook updates and carrier pigeons all still require a lot of guesswork to really gauge what's going on with your partner. This is especially true if couples aren't already the greatest at directly and confidently stating their feelings. Video chatting is a better option than a traditional phone call, as it allows you to read some of your partner’s non-verbal communication. Aside from just talking to each other regularly; use technology to do other things together, like play games online – this is a creative and fun exercise that can promote bonding. 'Loneliness will happen but it is important that you acknowledge and attempt to alleviate those feelings. Phone sex works wonders!'


      Dr. Barton Goldsmith PhD, says 'one of the things that keep a relationship together is real chemistry. Touching keeps the brain chemicals, like Oxytocin (also known as the cuddle hormone) and Serotonin (as well as several others that make us happy and feel connected) flowing through our brains and bodies. When you don’t get to connect, it’s harder to feel the love because you’re not able to produce enough these happiness chemicals to make you feel good and most people start to look for ways to get their ‘brain-chemical fix’ from those who are physically available.' This is why it is essential to keep the physical chemistry just as alive as the emotional chemistry. Plan to see one another as often as possible. That may mean costly travelling every now and again so you can tend to your long-distance relationship. It’s not easy and both partners need to commit equally but in the end you might be grateful that you did.

      Increasing Trust

      Unfortunately, over time, many long-distance relationships experience a degradation of trust and confidence. As you and your partner develop increasingly independent tendencies, your roles in each other’s lives will change. New friends and colleagues will be entering both your lives and this can lead to partners quickly becoming jealous. Jealousy can lead to fights, resentment and eventually the demise of your relationship. It is important to prepare for these changes early on and commit yourself to becoming as trusting and as trustworthy as possible. The increased independence can be a good thing, if you let it, enabling you to continue growing as individuals while still remaining a couple. Eventually, the goal is for one or both of you to relocate to be together and, if you have trust in each other, you can get there.

      Keeping a Plan

      Maintaining a healthy long-distance relationship is all about establishing and sticking to regular achievable goals that you have mutually agreed upon so you both feel like you are working towards something. Never make promises or agree to goals you can't keep. Your word is your bond. A healthy plan and set of goals should include: a daily schedule for communication, a mandatory minimum on Snail mail and small gifts per month, frequency of virtual dates, a schedule for somewhat regular visits and, most importantly, deciding on your monogamy. Remember, things won’t always go according to the plan you’ve set so it is important to anticipate changes and deal with them together as they come up. While, absence may make the heart grow fonder, don't let your relationship linger in this state for years – have an end date in mind in case neither of you can relocate back to the other within a reasonable timeframe.

    • sandylongman profile image

      sandylongman 7 years ago

      Great comments! As to texting, flirting, and your across oceans apart it is still a form of cheating. If my husband was giving his choc bar to another woman online or in person he is OUT OF HERE!!!!! As far as Senator Weiner I agree with Samsons1 he was an elected official and should be accountable for his actions. He has a great job and is in the public and his position is looked up too. He is not an actor or is he??? Was he texting and misusing his time where our hard earned tax dollars go to pay him to do a job. This is why he is being investigated.

    • profile image

      waqxi 7 years ago

      A convincing argument by Samason


    • samsons1 profile image

      Sam 7 years ago from Tennessee

      Some people still miss the point. If he is in an elected position, it is NOT a private or personal issue. If he was doing his job is one thing, if he is 'playing around' on the job is another...

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 7 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      I think that if you find you are hiding communications from your spouse you might have something to worry about;)

      Wiener - he lied about his behavior - to his wife. Lying by omission is lying too;). Excellent topic!

    • profile image

      waxi 7 years ago

      Good point by Justsilvie


    • profile image

      Justsilvie 7 years ago

      Sorry Sandy should have added that above.

      Should Anthony Weiner Resign?

      I think this is something between him and his wife I reall have a problem with everyone else sticking their nose into a couple personal life.

    • samsons1 profile image

      Sam 7 years ago from Tennessee

      Hi Sandy, and yes he should resign! He was not elected to do texting (or sexting) was he? No one seems to care that anyone in this position, if they were doing their jobs adequately would not have time to do this. Elected officials should be held to a higher standard. It appears that if one 'gets by' with something, it is okay. What about all his initial lying to cover up his activity. He is like all the rest of the dirty politicians that feel they can justify their activities with their personal explanation of what happened. When caught in a lie, then they tell the truth with a slant or try to blame George Bush for it. Enough is enough! Throw the bum out...

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 7 years ago

      Quite simply, yes it is cheating. As for Weiner, he should resign. His judgement and behavior are twisted and his constituents deserve better.

    • profile image

      Justsilvie 7 years ago

      Yes it is cheating ! I can speak from experience.

      This kind of behavior can kill a relationship, because unlike the Gentleman who commented above, it is usually done behind the other partners back.

      And as much as my partner assured me it was NOTHING when I did find out, they still took it to real time. Now their tryst is over and all I could ask was “WAS IT WORTH IT” and I can assure you he does not feel it was. People rarely do!

    • profile image

      waxi 7 years ago

      Hi Sandy I have been a reader of your Hubs longer than you can imagine but this is my first response to your Hubs

      I partially agree with your thought provoking Hub and partially disagree I ll leave comments on where I agree and so I ll discourse on where I have the honor to dispute

      First we have to take into account the players who are involved in Texting sport Are the players geographically situated in close proximity ? this makes a one-one meeting more potential after the Texting reaches an emotional stage if they are across the ocean this diminishes the chances but you could challenge my contesting point by saying that across the oceans still have a chance of arranging a meeting and emotions on both sides damages the players relation with their respective spouses -Fair enough but log distance texting is less harmful albeit still not acceptable

      Further more -what if the players partner doesn't care less ? Is it the rule that any texting between opposite sexes will culminate in a romance ? I say No not always

      I ll tell you a case study ten years ago I met a married lady from Switzerland and we began the introductions with childish teasing I started calling her a rice pudding and she called me a choc bar boy [she is White European and I am brown from Asia ] and from that day to this we havnt met but we are best of friends we have spoke on phones hundereds of times She showers me with gifts and even candies for children in neighbours and gifts for my mom Some of my friends who know about this relation envy me and teasingly say "Cant you find us one as well ? " Her hubby is a train driver and has sent me many invitations to visit Switzerland

      This lady and I even had our hip moments in sazzy chats and some naughty emails Her hubby has no problem I look up to her as a great soul friend and nothing more cos she is my lovely Rice pudding and I am her Choc bar

      How would you define this relation on Cyber ? save from the fact there is some madness which she and I enjoy every bit




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