Is there a way to deal with difficult people effectivelY

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   pstraubie48posted 10 years ago

   Is there a way to deal with difficult people effectivelY
   
   You know the ones. They do not listen when you speak, they turn around what you say so you are the one who is at fault or causing the problem, they try to intimidate you with each encounter. You are unable to avoid them because they are a co-worker, a boss, a landlord, a relative. What do YOU do?
   
   

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   DDEposted 10 years ago

   Great question I don't like dealing with such kind of people so don't have these people in my life. One should be direct and let them know how you feel but in an appropriate way to keep the  relationship but to make different choices in their lifestyles, not only for you but aslo for others

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   Mercia Collinsposted 10 years ago

   The principles of dealing with difficult people are the same whoever they are,
   
   http://merciacollins.hubpages.com/hub/H … -Colleague

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   Maggie Bennettposted 10 years ago

   I wrote a piece on Emotional Vampires you might find interesting.  Difficult people are a tremendous problem and more and more people are being affected.  Seems almost chic for some people to be bullies.  Reality TV anyone? 
   
   I try to eliminate them from my life.  Sometimes I will take drastic measures.  My emotional health is worth too much to be around people who are negative and cause derision, and erode the fabric of my physical health as well.  Stress kills.
   
   Sometimes it isn't easy or possible to get rid of them, but you can limit your interactions with them.  You can mentally suit up before meeting with them and thereby quell your reactions to them.  They do the baiting, but we have to bite.  People who behave this way get little respect or recognition from me. That conscious thought keeps what they say from personally affecting me.

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   jjackson786posted 10 years ago

   I like to remain as professional as possible while at the same time, eliminating personal interaction or decreasing the amount of time I spend with that person. Just because this is a person that you're forced to interact with doesn't mean that you have to go out of your way to do it. Remain pleasant and communicate your needs effectively. This will lessen the amount of time the two of you spend interacting. Personally, if I know that I have to spend time with someone who really grinds on my nerves, I remind myself of two things: 1) I am an adult, and when I feel that the interaction is over, it's over; and 2) I am allowed to walk away from the conversation and deescalate if needed. Respect yourself enough as a person to realize that forcing yourself to interact with people you do not get along with is counterproductive. So, limit interaction; terminate the interaction if the person is attempting to belittle or intimidate you; re-approach the situation when you have deescalated; realize the futility of forced interaction. Good luck!

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   Ericdierkerposted 10 years ago

   I graduated from a public safety school and worked in private security quite a bit. That scenario almost takes the ability to walk away out of the picture. So you get good training and deal with it.
   
   Here is the best lesson I learned for myself. I have to think back and see some of what I have done in life. Some of it surely mimics much of the description here. How did I change? From negative results. Bad feelings, others hurt, damage to productivity and just plain being unliked.
   
   My brother once said to me: "Eric you cut a wide swath and impact people, pay attention to what that impact is". So I reckon the best way to deal with these folks is make real sure they understand the damage they cause. If that does not work and you are stuck --- poison them ;-) Who knows how many people you will help.

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   carol7777posted 10 years ago

   Excellent question...And all of us have encountered people with one or more of these traits...When people don't pay attention..I kind of stop talking and allow them to talk if I have to .  Those who blame the world for everything are most annoying..and sometimes I just say "I appreciate how you feel".  Which says nothing , but they don't know that. Intimidation is the most difficult..and I try to avoid these people if  I can.

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      pstraubie48posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Me too there are just times when they are in your life and you have to deal with them....thanks for your comment Carol.

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   breathingposted 8 years ago

   There is hardly any one among us who have not dealt with such a person in their lives. Yeah I completely agree that these persons are really impossible to handle. They will make you fully irritated. They will not listen to you in anyway but always continue to express their feelings. But from my experience I can tell you that if you become a little more technical, you can accomplish this difficult task quite successfully. Here are a few steps for encountering these people:
   
   1. First try to identify the turning point due to which they are always in a mood to speak to others but not hear from the other end. If this is their childhood habit, then you will need act very smart in order to cope with the respective individual. Try to interrupt at times when they start the conversation. This can happen by changing the topic of conversation, by asking related questions to the topic that the person is talking about, by displaying a very dull and gloomy face showing that you are being very much bored etc.  If you continue to do so eventually there are big chances that the person will lose interest in you or change habit while talking to you.
   
   2. If this nature has developed later o his life then you will need to identify why or in which environment this habit developed. You will need to do everything so that every aspect of that environment is prevented. Then you can gradually change the person’s mentality.

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