Marriages in the past were very different arrangements than they are now. But one of the traditions that still exists today is asking the woman's father for his permission/blessing before proposing. Is this still considered common courtesy, or is it part of outdated gender roles?
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A lot of "chivalry" was rooted in sexism!
Women were seen as the "weaker sex" and needed to be sheltered and protected like children. The important decisions were left up to the men. "Don't worry your pretty little head". Being "special" is weak.
I see what you're saying, but "blessings" and "permission" are two different things. "Are you comfortable with our getting married?" If he said no, then I would have to say "tough luck."
My perception and opinion differs. Being "cherished" is wonderful. Chivalry is not dead, and I have tried to model that behavior for my daughter and son. My wife tells me I've succeeded.
I'm guessing your family structure is very different than mine. Possession of her father? Dollar signs? What about the love and respect between a father and daughter? Or the fact she was was raised properly to observe certain courtesies?
That's exactly what I'm talking about. Where is the "courtesy" in treating a grown woman like a child? Why does the father get all the respect?
A mature woman does not need her father's permission; however, if their relationship was healthy, she would likely want her father's participation, joyful support and approval without a dependency upon it.
Of course, but what does that have to do with getting his permission? My 21-year-old granddaughter's fiance probably didn't ask permission, but they asked for and got his participation in the wedding. My son had hoped they would marry.