Why is it harder for people to maintain relationships in todays' world

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  1. RichusFridum profile image60
    RichusFridumposted 11 years ago

    Based on recent research and studies, less people are getting married, cheating is becoming commonplace, and the tradition of monogamy itself has become questionable.
    What has caused these changes?

    1. A Troubled Man profile image58
      A Troubled Manposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      It would be nice to see that research. Got a link?

    2. profile image0
      Peelander Gallyposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Monogamy isn't for everyone, as evidenced by the fact that it fails or makes people who try to force it extremely unhappy most of the time.

    3. lorddraven2000 profile image90
      lorddraven2000posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I think there is just so much temptation out there.

    4. Marisa Wright profile image86
      Marisa Wrightposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Simple. People's expectations have risen.    I'm in my fifties and my parents were in their forties when I was born, so I have a good insight into how former generations thought.

      In my parents' day, you met someone, you fell in love, and you got married pretty quick because sex before marriage was naughty and living together was unthinkable.  So there wasn't time for the initial "glow" to wear off, or for either partner to have second thoughts.

      Once you were married, divorce was also unthinkable - not because of any religious concerns, but because it was such a shameful and embarrassing thing to do.  You had to be really, really, really unhappy to even contemplate separation:  only crazy people like film stars did it.   If an ordinary person got divorced, they became a social pariah.   

      So people of your grandparents' generation stayed married through thick and thin.   My father and mother both had several brothers and sisters, and I can think of several aunts and uncles who could barely stand the sight of each other, yet were still married after thirty or forty years. 

      Even more recent examples:  when my first husband left me, his mother didn't speak to him for five years - because she "couldn't hold her head up in the bowling club" because he was divorced.   And my older sister kept her separation a secret for years, too - she went back to live at home, and pretended she'd done it to look after our aged parents instead of to get away from her cheating husband.

      These days, the stigma of divorce has gone, so there's no need to stick it out in a relationship if you're unhappy - so people don't.

    5. profile image53
      Poodle Head Mikeyposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      It is because marriage is it's own worst enemy.  It started out as a deal-making end-run around the power of women and has been steadily twisted and perverted by both law and organized religion ever since.


  2. Relationshipc profile image87
    Relationshipcposted 11 years ago

    Marriage is not such a requirement anymore. Meaning, before you had to get married or you were shunned by your family, friends, and church. Now, you can date and live with someone and it is perfectly acceptable to most people.

    The cheating aspect...I don't know. I personally think cheating is a choice, so people are just making more decisions that involved cheating. Whether they believe it's okay, or feel more stress and less structure in their relationship, I couldn't even begin to guess.

    I think that while the Internet has done wonders connecting the world, it has also allowed more people to connect on different levels as well. That may also be a factor towards the desire to cheat.

    1. RichusFridum profile image60
      RichusFridumposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      right Relationshipc, i think the web has contributed a great deal to peoples desire and ability to cheat

  3. eternals3ptember profile image60
    eternals3ptemberposted 11 years ago

    This is my view:

    Marriage is kinda pointless when it's easy to divorce (at least in the legal, sense maybe the moral/emotional/financial sense for some).
    Society is less uniform, and people are less similar, and tend to not know each other as well.
    People don't feel a moral impartitive to remain "faithful," open relationships aren't shunned.

    1. RichusFridum profile image60
      RichusFridumposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      "People don't feel a moral impartitive to remain "faithful"

      thats a critical point

  4. Ciax profile image58
    Ciaxposted 11 years ago

    HubPages forums!

  5. RichusFridum profile image60
    RichusFridumposted 11 years ago

    very clever Ciax, very clever, lol

    1. Castlepaloma profile image75
      Castlepalomaposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I had much longer relationship in the pass, you would think "age" would make us wiser. It's an age of throw away products and now it's throw away relationships. Unnatural

      We all have our work,cut out for us to change that. I'm starting with building my home small with all natural materials. Next, find a natural girl to be naturally happy with.

  6. Dame Scribe profile image57
    Dame Scribeposted 11 years ago

    I think it depends on their upbringing too. My sons won't date gals who 'get around' not to forget they have to be wary of STI 's hmm especially since antibiotic resistance is a concern also.

  7. peeples profile image90
    peeplesposted 11 years ago

    A- Marriage isn't needed anymore
    B - People have become lazy
    C- People don't communicate
    D- People fail to take care of their spouse's needs
    E- There is no longer the traditional roles of marriage that gave both people a seperate role that filled the other's needs.

    1. Castlepaloma profile image75
      Castlepalomaposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Marriage was quoted twice out of the 5 points

      Marriage is more for breeders and can understand, it for that reason.
      I don't need to be more taxed or choked by threats of divorce or Religion to have a romantic relationship without kids. Who needs more kids after age 40.

      This ultimate love is between two adults, to share their lives together. Their relationship makes them both stronger together than apart.

      I would change the thought of needs to want. I want to be in love forever.

      1. peeples profile image90
        peeplesposted 11 years agoin reply to this

        Everyone has needs. Emotional needs are just as important as physical for some people. I guess I am a breeder which does help me understand it more. Some people are meant to be in commited life long relationships while others aren't. The piece of paper has nothing to do with it. Marriage is much more than that paper.

  8. janshares profile image92
    jansharesposted 11 years ago

    I think that people are less committed to the concept of commitment. What I mean by that is people are less focused loyalty, sacrifice, and acceptance of each other's imperfections. There is also less emphasis placed on traditional roles and values that make a relationship last. There is more emphasis  put on "I, me, and mine" than on "we, us, and ours." I also think there is less emphasis on spirituality as in becoming one in marriage, therefore not as important to get married. I agree that the internet has played a role in the disconnect.

    1. Castlepaloma profile image75
      Castlepalomaposted 11 years agoin reply to this


  9. Drive By Quipper profile image57
    Drive By Quipperposted 11 years ago


  10. passthejelly profile image71
    passthejellyposted 11 years ago

    I'm being 100% serious right here.  Rap music.

  11. profile image53
    Poodle Head Mikeyposted 11 years ago

    We missed a great chance to improve this issue when gay people were insistent on being able to get legally married.  I think we should have solved their concern by eliminating marriage as we have it set up now entirely.

    Marriage is a religious event.  It should have nothing at all to do with contract law.  Want to get married?  Fine;  find a religious entity which will agree to do it and exchange the rings.  Live happily ever after and so forth.

    Contract Law in the US is substantial, versatile, and well tested.  Legal age adults can contract with each other to do, or to forbid the doing of, any legal activity.  The contract is legally enforceable and can self prescribe the penalties imposed for breach of that contract.  Contracts are constant and cannot be changed without the agreement of all parties to the contract.

    A marriage is the only contract which is essentially;  signed in blank.  Because a couple gets married under the laws Now - but they get divorced under the laws of the unknown future Then.  This is a deeply flawed system.  Which really seems illegal to me on several levels.  For one the separation of church and state.  For another the fact that a blank contract is being imposed on those becoming married.

    It should be that any adult could contract with any other adult to do whatever they want.  Every aspect of relationship interaction could be detailed and discussed and spelled out in every detail - and agreed to in advance.  Everyone would know and agree to them - and would also know the penalty for behaving in non-allowed ways.

    We don't need Gay Marriage for gay people - we need Logical Marriage for everyone.

  12. abbykorinnelee profile image52
    abbykorinneleeposted 11 years ago

    I don't know how to answer it except it does say in the bible this will happen.

    For me, I don't know either because I am a loyal and faithful person and it takes a lot to lose that from me, and even when I have been burned over and over I am still loyal.  I forgive everyone for anything.  I love everyone and I give all I have and I accept and don't judge and never can it be returned.  I have been in five relationships and two of those were marriages.  My frist husband cheated 14 times.  My second one left me for a married soldier as he was a soldier and while leaving me with no money or anyway to drive my kids and no place to when he walked out then deployed and had sex with her the whole time prior to our divorce being final.  I didn't do anything until after it was final because I had to be true to myself.

    I have two really geat men in my life but becaues the friendship has been for so long and their are issues like one is a godparent to my oldest...we won't risk any of that and feel its better to be what we are.

    I want someone to love me, to want only me, to accept the bad things about me no one else has and not abuse the good.  Because I am a good person and I feel like I am not worth anything to someone else if it means they have to love and cherish me.

    I am divorced twice and the last time I even tried to stay when he started abusing me because I didn't want to divorce again.

    If you figure out the answer let me know

  13. lovendar profile image60
    lovendarposted 11 years ago

    I am not agree with you, can i have the exact link or statistics of the same.

  14. Astra Nomik profile image63
    Astra Nomikposted 11 years ago

    I am in a very stable relationship with an amazing lady and for under 3 years now and growing. Put the person in your love life first and never deviate from this goal. She should be the first and the last. that is how everlasting love works. I am only in my 20's but I am sure this is how it works.

    I met her through Hub pages. So it can't be that hard surely for someone to fall in love with someone special. If the person is feeling the same feelings and both love each other, then love is the beginning of this amazing relationship. I thought there was nothing beyond Love, but I have found that there is a lot more beyond just loving her.

    It becomes easy when we stop making excuses...


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