Based on recent research and studies, less people are getting married, cheating is becoming commonplace, and the tradition of monogamy itself has become questionable.
What has caused these changes?
It would be nice to see that research. Got a link?
Monogamy isn't for everyone, as evidenced by the fact that it fails or makes people who try to force it extremely unhappy most of the time.
I think there is just so much temptation out there.
Simple. People's expectations have risen. I'm in my fifties and my parents were in their forties when I was born, so I have a good insight into how former generations thought.
In my parents' day, you met someone, you fell in love, and you got married pretty quick because sex before marriage was naughty and living together was unthinkable. So there wasn't time for the initial "glow" to wear off, or for either partner to have second thoughts.
Once you were married, divorce was also unthinkable - not because of any religious concerns, but because it was such a shameful and embarrassing thing to do. You had to be really, really, really unhappy to even contemplate separation: only crazy people like film stars did it. If an ordinary person got divorced, they became a social pariah.
So people of your grandparents' generation stayed married through thick and thin. My father and mother both had several brothers and sisters, and I can think of several aunts and uncles who could barely stand the sight of each other, yet were still married after thirty or forty years.
Even more recent examples: when my first husband left me, his mother didn't speak to him for five years - because she "couldn't hold her head up in the bowling club" because he was divorced. And my older sister kept her separation a secret for years, too - she went back to live at home, and pretended she'd done it to look after our aged parents instead of to get away from her cheating husband.
These days, the stigma of divorce has gone, so there's no need to stick it out in a relationship if you're unhappy - so people don't.
It is because marriage is it's own worst enemy. It started out as a deal-making end-run around the power of women and has been steadily twisted and perverted by both law and organized religion ever since.
Marriage is not such a requirement anymore. Meaning, before you had to get married or you were shunned by your family, friends, and church. Now, you can date and live with someone and it is perfectly acceptable to most people.
The cheating aspect...I don't know. I personally think cheating is a choice, so people are just making more decisions that involved cheating. Whether they believe it's okay, or feel more stress and less structure in their relationship, I couldn't even begin to guess.
I think that while the Internet has done wonders connecting the world, it has also allowed more people to connect on different levels as well. That may also be a factor towards the desire to cheat.
This is my view:
Marriage is kinda pointless when it's easy to divorce (at least in the legal, sense maybe the moral/emotional/financial sense for some).
Society is less uniform, and people are less similar, and tend to not know each other as well.
People don't feel a moral impartitive to remain "faithful," open relationships aren't shunned.
I had much longer relationship in the pass, you would think "age" would make us wiser. It's an age of throw away products and now it's throw away relationships. Unnatural
We all have our work,cut out for us to change that. I'm starting with building my home small with all natural materials. Next, find a natural girl to be naturally happy with.
I think it depends on their upbringing too. My sons won't date gals who 'get around' not to forget they have to be wary of STI 's especially since antibiotic resistance is a concern also.
A- Marriage isn't needed anymore
B - People have become lazy
C- People don't communicate
D- People fail to take care of their spouse's needs
E- There is no longer the traditional roles of marriage that gave both people a seperate role that filled the other's needs.
Marriage was quoted twice out of the 5 points
Marriage is more for breeders and can understand, it for that reason.
I don't need to be more taxed or choked by threats of divorce or Religion to have a romantic relationship without kids. Who needs more kids after age 40.
This ultimate love is between two adults, to share their lives together. Their relationship makes them both stronger together than apart.
I would change the thought of needs to want. I want to be in love forever.
Everyone has needs. Emotional needs are just as important as physical for some people. I guess I am a breeder which does help me understand it more. Some people are meant to be in commited life long relationships while others aren't. The piece of paper has nothing to do with it. Marriage is much more than that paper.
I think that people are less committed to the concept of commitment. What I mean by that is people are less focused loyalty, sacrifice, and acceptance of each other's imperfections. There is also less emphasis placed on traditional roles and values that make a relationship last. There is more emphasis put on "I, me, and mine" than on "we, us, and ours." I also think there is less emphasis on spirituality as in becoming one in marriage, therefore not as important to get married. I agree that the internet has played a role in the disconnect.
We missed a great chance to improve this issue when gay people were insistent on being able to get legally married. I think we should have solved their concern by eliminating marriage as we have it set up now entirely.
Marriage is a religious event. It should have nothing at all to do with contract law. Want to get married? Fine; find a religious entity which will agree to do it and exchange the rings. Live happily ever after and so forth.
Contract Law in the US is substantial, versatile, and well tested. Legal age adults can contract with each other to do, or to forbid the doing of, any legal activity. The contract is legally enforceable and can self prescribe the penalties imposed for breach of that contract. Contracts are constant and cannot be changed without the agreement of all parties to the contract.
A marriage is the only contract which is essentially; signed in blank. Because a couple gets married under the laws Now - but they get divorced under the laws of the unknown future Then. This is a deeply flawed system. Which really seems illegal to me on several levels. For one the separation of church and state. For another the fact that a blank contract is being imposed on those becoming married.
It should be that any adult could contract with any other adult to do whatever they want. Every aspect of relationship interaction could be detailed and discussed and spelled out in every detail - and agreed to in advance. Everyone would know and agree to them - and would also know the penalty for behaving in non-allowed ways.
We don't need Gay Marriage for gay people - we need Logical Marriage for everyone.
I don't know how to answer it except it does say in the bible this will happen.
For me, I don't know either because I am a loyal and faithful person and it takes a lot to lose that from me, and even when I have been burned over and over I am still loyal. I forgive everyone for anything. I love everyone and I give all I have and I accept and don't judge and never can it be returned. I have been in five relationships and two of those were marriages. My frist husband cheated 14 times. My second one left me for a married soldier as he was a soldier and while leaving me with no money or anyway to drive my kids and no place to when he walked out then deployed and had sex with her the whole time prior to our divorce being final. I didn't do anything until after it was final because I had to be true to myself.
I have two really geat men in my life but becaues the friendship has been for so long and their are issues like one is a godparent to my oldest...we won't risk any of that and feel its better to be what we are.
I want someone to love me, to want only me, to accept the bad things about me no one else has and not abuse the good. Because I am a good person and I feel like I am not worth anything to someone else if it means they have to love and cherish me.
I am divorced twice and the last time I even tried to stay when he started abusing me because I didn't want to divorce again.
If you figure out the answer let me know
I am not agree with you, can i have the exact link or statistics of the same.
I am in a very stable relationship with an amazing lady and for under 3 years now and growing. Put the person in your love life first and never deviate from this goal. She should be the first and the last. that is how everlasting love works. I am only in my 20's but I am sure this is how it works.
I met her through Hub pages. So it can't be that hard surely for someone to fall in love with someone special. If the person is feeling the same feelings and both love each other, then love is the beginning of this amazing relationship. I thought there was nothing beyond Love, but I have found that there is a lot more beyond just loving her.
It becomes easy when we stop making excuses...
by dashingscorpio 3 years ago
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by mdawson17 11 years ago
In the recent years I have seen more men come out of the closet after being married for more than 5 years. This concerns me becuase I think of the spouse that has dedicated her complete life to him!I have seen children lives tour up and even worse the children involved become very confused.I have...
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