Is love an emotion or a decision? Your thoughts, please.

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  1. Cellebrate! profile image59
    Cellebrate!posted 14 years ago

    Is love an emotion or a decision? Your thoughts, please.

  2. profile image0
    TypingTornadoposted 14 years ago

    no one decides whom they will love.  love is an emotion.  like hunger.  you don't decide to be hungry.

  3. rvsource profile image59
    rvsourceposted 14 years ago

    It's both;
    You can have an emotion and feel love towards someone, but not act upon it.

    At the same time you can act like you love someone, when you don't (yet) and the feelings can develop over time. If you didn't "act" like you love someone it's possible that the "love" would never develop. So

    in summary it's both.

    Just my opinion...based on experience

  4. profile image0
    Megan Anneposted 14 years ago

    Love isn't a degree on a scale that when reached you can say, "Oh, I'm in love now." It comes in varying forms, amounts, and types.

    If it were so simple that you could boil it down to one thing or the other, bookstores wouldn't have a "self-help" section.
    Love is an emotion, but the decision to act upon it, to work with it, to strengthen it, or to end it lies with you.

    You can love a friend, even love someone long enough that you might see yourself happy with them. That's where love becomes a decision. Or you can meet someone, and suddenly, at the most obscure moment, you realize without them you feel empty and alone.
    You can also have "puppy-love", where you seem to fall in love at first sight, but really it's just a strong attraction that will most likely crash and burn at the end of two weeks. Sometimes you might at first despise each other, and then after a civil conversation, realize you like them- maybe even love them. (Hand to God I've seen it happen...)

    Unfortunately, there's no accurate description of love. I generally expirience a sensation in my chest similar to if someone were blowing up a balloon inside me, I lose all ability to focus, and suddenly what I say to this person becomes the most important thing in my life, because if I say something stupid it's the end of the world...

    I hope that helps!

  5. Susana S profile image92
    Susana Sposted 14 years ago

    I think both. Loving feelings and loving actions often go hand in hand but not always. For instance, I may do something loving when I don't feel like it. I think love often takes effort, whereas loving feelings take no effort at all. While I'm washing my husbands underwear I'm not thinking Oh I love you so much but I'm doing it because I do love him.

    I wrote a hub which covers some of this that you might like to read: Save my marriage - why falling out of love should not be the end of your relationship.

  6. stricktlydating profile image82
    stricktlydatingposted 14 years ago

    Love is an emotion...It can make you  cry like crazy with either happiness or sadness..

    But when you mention it as 'a decision' - that still has the posibility to develop into emotion. For example, in many countries there are still arranged Marriages with happy outcomes.

  7. Masciocchi profile image60
    Masciocchiposted 14 years ago

    The dictionary has a million different definitions for love, but I'm not sure I completely agree with any of them. I think many times people confuse love with emotion or feeling. If love is just an emotion I don't want it. Every human has emotions and feelings that are up and down and different with each passing moment. To me love is the willingness to give up anything and everything for the well being and happiness of another. When you do that for someone you then obtain the emotional connection with them. I would never question a LOVE like that.

  8. Miss D profile image60
    Miss Dposted 14 years ago

    I think that love is most definitely an emotion. We have control over the decisions we make, but are held hostage by our emotions.

  9. rsmallory profile image68
    rsmalloryposted 14 years ago

    I believe love is both an emotion and a decision. The decision is your commitment to the love you feel. It's very easy to say 'I love you', but there has to be a commitment that accompanies those words. If the commitment is not there, those words mean nothing.

  10. Mekenzie profile image79
    Mekenzieposted 13 years ago

    The deepest type of love is based on a decision and a commitment you make to love a person. In a relationship, I believe we  are drawn to another (at first) based upon attraction and yes, feelings.  But feelings cannot be trusted for the long haul.  Emotions come and go like a roller coaster and if we depend on our emotions we will be falling in and out of love all of the time.  I also wrote a hub on love called "true love" and it explains the three levels of love.

  11. profile image0
    reeltaulkposted 13 years ago

    Neither.....I consider it an action.  Actions truly speak louder than words, an unconditional behavior, which sometimes doesn't grant you favor due to sacrifice.  Emotions do change, you can't love one day then the next day you don't feel like it or choose to "LOve someone else.  Neither can you decide to love because........(whatever you have chosen to fill in the blank with).  Love is not a random decision.  Love is consistency, forgiving, understanding, patient, kind, sacrificial, all of which is done without thought or decision.  If I truly loved you, I would be consistent with my behavior, actions, motives, etc. come what may, regardless of what you do, my Love will never fail you, neither will it dessert you.  In some cases, for self preservation you may dessert someone you love because they are not respectful of your love or they don't deserve it!  Just like anything that is precious to you ie: diamonds, your children, your assets, you wont leave it in the hands of someone that is irresponsible, the same goes for Love it is not only precious but powerful and isn't something to be taken or given lightly.

    Vonda G. Nelson

  12. profile image50
    jacksmith3299posted 13 years ago

    None of these "Love is a Feeling that tends you to care your beloved unconditionally".

  13. danielthorne profile image41
    danielthorneposted 13 years ago

    If you make the decision to be in love...then you must be nuts...

  14. gg.zaino profile image72
    gg.zainoposted 13 years ago

    A state of mind... a hook!
    and r we talking about love in the eastern or western sense? an often mistaken jumble of emotional lust... w/a lack of common sense, arriving at the wrong decisions....just sayin! smile

  15. MJFande profile image64
    MJFandeposted 13 years ago

    I think love is an emotion more than a decision. You can decide to take actions that will affect how another person feels about you, but I don't think that you can decide to or decide not to love someone. It's something you feel if you have it, and you don't if you don't.

  16. DeanKeaton259 profile image61
    DeanKeaton259posted 13 years ago

    Love is a raging fire sparked by emotional fireworks. Once the initial blast has faded, it takes a concerted effort by both parties to keep the fire burning. Communication, commitment, and respect are the most important things to consider. Always appreciate the one you love and demand the same in return.

    Falling in love is easy. Chemicals facilitate it. Staying in love is very difficult. Love is perfect, but we live in a very imperfect world.

  17. Squidmom profile image60
    Squidmomposted 13 years ago

    I think it begins as a feeling but that feeling won't last forever without the decision to make it do so. In a marriage for instance, you know you won't stay in the type of love you may have felt when you first met or even when you first got married. When people say they no longer are in love with each other this I think is what they mean. When that stage is over you have to make a decision to love if you want to stay together. I know you can't force love. But you can build up a relationship and turn it into, if not that googly eyed you're perfect and I'll make out with you anywhere without thinking love into something more friendship based, something perphaps deeper and longer lasting. That leads to attraction and better intimacy in and of it's self.

  18. bibi16 profile image59
    bibi16posted 13 years ago

    Love although the attainment of it is often a conscious effort, the biochemical reaction that spurs the emotional state, is more akin to a feeling, or emotion of you like the word. My answer, emotion. BB16

  19. freedomringz profile image60
    freedomringzposted 13 years ago

    It can be either depending on why your in the relationship. if its because you have become dependent on the person you may have just decided to be there.

  20. Ruchira profile image66
    Ruchiraposted 12 years ago

    It is both.

    Love starts off with emotions and then when we feel that the person is not good or is good...then it is decision time IF we want this relationship to last but, alas there are some who let their emotions conquer their decisions and could suffer from a bad relationship if it turns out to be such...

  21. elordmayor profile image59
    elordmayorposted 12 years ago

    It is both, but the decision side of it should take upper hand than emotion.

  22. bloominglily profile image59
    bloominglilyposted 12 years ago

    It's totally emotion based upon chemistry.

  23. profile image0
    msorenssonposted 12 years ago, real love is neither an emotion nor a decision. It is complete and total compassion that does not distinguish between anything or anyone at all. It is not given and therefore asks for nothing in return. It springs from the hearts of those who have completely renounced their egoistic demands.
    If you mean romantic love, it is dictated by our karma and quite complicated.

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