Because in relationships we are often thinking with our heart instead of our head. We may not want or agree with something that comes up within our relationship, but we can feel torn/confused/frustrated/disappointed etc due to our feelings of love for the other person. Life is complex at times and the same can be said for keeping our relationships running smoothly.
Oftentimes problems arise when there is a lack of communication. The first thing needing to be established in relationships is open communication. One cannot be afraid to express oneself to a lover. If it is difficult in the beginning then somebody needs to recognize that and either fix it or get away from it. Smoothing over or letting things go for the sake of saving an argument or problem always comes back to bite the complacent partner in the ass. Because such behavior only empowers the other person to feel control over the other, and it will continue. And if not addressed early the relationship will eventually suffer from resentment, bitterness and hopelessness.
One must always be strong enough to defend potential deterrents to healthy self-esteem. A relationship is only as complicated as one's self-esteem and desperation permits it to be.
Relationships become complex in my mind simply because we make them so. They do not have to be. It would appear that the majority of us in our endeavour to attain something we desire only believe we have the best when we have had to struggle to get it.
We do not go out of our way to plan to complicate our relationships it is almost a natural response. I believe if we follow 3 basic rules we are less likely to fall into this trap.
1. Before entering into a relationship try to find out as much as you can about the person you want to relate to. I am a firm believer in purposeful dating i.e. not dating someone for just the sake of it but dating with the desire for a long term meaningful relationship.
When you find out the key things that matter to you, it will help you to know from the outset what you are getting into. Of course you can never be 100% sure the person is telling you the truth but usually there will be an inner conviction that will guide you.
The more you know at the beginning about the person the more it will help to make it less complex later on when you face the normal challenges relationships can enter into. In short there should be less surprises!
2. Being real. If you enter a relationship with an agenda other than being yourself you most definately
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