Is it the distance or is it really not right??? She loves me, but not as a coupl

1. 52

   Nemps7posted 14 years ago

   Is it the distance or is it really not right??? She loves me, but not as a couple..
   
   I moved to Berlin in August when I met my ex. We were friends from August-January, when I finally asked her on a date. It was great for about a month, and then she moved back to Denmark. We visited each other for a month or so before she decided it was "too difficult" with her big work load at her new job and finding out she will be there for the next 3 years at least. We love each other - is it just bad timing or more?
   She wants to move to NYC (planned before me in the picture), where I will be after that. She says she doesn't know how she will feel then.

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2. 75

   stricktlydatingposted 14 years ago

   It takes a really strong love and solid relationship and committment to make it work one member of the couple moves to a different country.  She's already decided it is "Too difficult" after only a month or so of visiting eachother, so it seems like she's not prepared to continue your boyfriend/girlfriend  relationship now that it's become long-distance.
   
   To answer your question, it's probably the distance that's causing her to end your relationship but you weren't together as a couple for very long before she moved back to Denmark, so it's also probably partially to do with not having a long solid history together.  In saying that, if she really wanted to be with you she would probably still try to make it work.
   
   Best wishes.

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3. 58

   kelkel7posted 14 years ago

   I’m sorry but it might be something more than the distance. Put yourself in her shoes. Would a heavy workload ever affect how you feel about her? What I mean is : are you making more of an effort to see her than she is to see you? What your probably feeling is your gut telling you that she is slipping away. If you truly love someone, and your out of your mind crazy about them the words, “I’ve got so much going on right now,” or “We will see how this goes,” never comes out of your mouth. If this is a long relationship, I would question rather you both can handle living apart without seeing other people. A lot of people can do this, but they both have to be one hundred percent committed to the relationship. If your gut is telling you your loosing her, you should defiantly have a serious talk with her. Sometimes no matter what the other person says we can feel this shift, or change that was different than before.
   
   Do You Feel Like This?
   
   When you feel your partner is falling out of love with you or is drifting away from the solid bond you had once had it almost feels like a bad dream. Have you ever had a dream where she wouldn't answer the phone for days? Or just dreams where she broke up with you?
   
   Having the feeling someone your with is acting differently towards you can be a devastating feeling. It’s feels so strong that you feel no matter how many times you kiss who your with; there just not…there anymore. It is almost if before there was this light behind their eyes that you never knew was missing until the moment it was gone.
   
   That moment when the shift and flow of affection changes into deafening normalcy. The normalcy is so dead and shifting, the feeling almost knocks you off balance. What was once solid beneath your feet, the feeling you thought would never leave is escaping.
   
   In any case, relationships are hard especially long distance. I would always follow your gut.
   
   P.S- If you suspect she’s cheating; I would use your tax return money to hire a private investigator.
   
   All jokes aside good luck! I hope you guys get it together, or get happy with other people.
   
   Love is hard; especially when feeling pain from love feels better than feeling nothing at all.

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