What is the right thing to do when a single mom of four; 2 on autism spec. date

1. 72

   abbykorinneleeposted 7 years ago

   What is the right thing to do when a single mom of four; 2 on autism spec. date or not to date?
   
   When you are divorced a couple times, biological father isn't visiting, stepfather might stay around, both are military fathers...what is the right thing to do regarding dating?  If you are on your own and lonely and your life is surrounding your children, you stay home to be their for them and you are the only one that is parenting autism, living in poverty line, what is healthier?  Does being alone and not dating benefit if you are miserable and lonely? Explain if you have been through anything similar

   report
2. 75

   cobrienposted 7 years ago

   Definitely date!. Be up front with any potential suiter about your children. If they run, they are not right for the job. You can find appropriate suiters through Parents without Partners, local parent of special needs support groups and and other special needs programs like Special Olympics and special equestrian programs.
   As for your poverty, to your children, a stay at home parent is worth more than any amount of money you can make. However, you must meet your own needs, including your social needs, until you can give your all to your kids. Getting out and socializing with others in the same situations may open doors you didn't see.
   Good Luck to you!

   report
3. 72

   abbykorinneleeposted 7 years ago

   Thank you; after my first divorce I was told not to date let alone marry for at least a year and I had been friends through the unit and FRG leader for a short time of a soldier that was the only one who would help me move out of an abusive boyfriend's house (my house he wouldn't move out though I think hes doing much better now) and my exhusband didn't want me staying thirty or fourty miles away alone. He had taken me to the emergency room, let me keep my insurance until mine kicked in and he really saved me from doing something stupid.  I was suicidal at times and getting out of the house was necessary.  My friend stayed with me and we ended up dating for a short four weeks and got married.  I was instantly in love with him and he was the only one I let all the way in and I will love him still until I die.  BUT he and I are divorced and since he is deployed and I need time to get over the dibilitating heartache:) I am not dating.  But, I was so worried about if it was the right thing to do.  My kids depend on me, only me, I am all they have.  I was the one that fought for my son's diagnosis and fought for custody to get him away from someone who wanted to delete the real mom and that spanked him with a belt without my ex's knowledge...a kid that was lost in himself.  I fought for him and he doesn't have what other kids have.  Grandparents either.  Once I left...that was it..my ex's family hasn't visited, maybe once in a blue moon if I call her; they talk to their grandmother.  My mom isn't involved and is too busy with her life and visiting my sister she hasn't come to see us in six or more years.  My dad is having health problems and struggling on his pay to put my brother who is 12 years younger through college so they are missing out on a family.  John is their father.  He said to them he would be even after the divorce; he is the one that helped ME learn better parenting...how do I break their heart if I date and they get attatched and it doesn't work?

   report