Can a gay man be attracted to a specific girl, but not women in general, and sti

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  1. profile image0
    Kingslayercrowposted 6 years ago

    Gay, straight, and bi are labels for our sexuality, and not everyone is going to fit under a label. I don't think its too crazy to think someone who is usually attracted to men might be attracted to a woman.

  2. Besarien profile image85
    Besarienposted 6 years ago

    Of course! I am straight but find Angelina Jolie attractive. Just not as attractive as I find my husband. I am monogamous, happily married, and have never had a relationship with a women but then again have never fallen in love with one either. If I were not married and fell in love with a woman, I would act on it. Love is too precious to ignore in whichever shape it may come. BTW my husband agrees with me, that Angelina is attractive, I mean.

    1. Dudley Doright profile image61
      Dudley Dorightposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Sure, Angelina is most certainly eye candy. Her husband is easy on the eyes as well, but even if I were single I'd not be interested in having sex with him.

  3. chaitanyasaivb profile image69
    chaitanyasaivbposted 6 years ago

    Sometimes, we will see some people, loving a man, who were not bi. But, it depends upon the behavior of that man with that specific girl. And it must be something special with that person, that made her like him, even though, she knows him, that he was not bi.

  4. Dudley Doright profile image61
    Dudley Dorightposted 6 years ago

    This is a very interesting question, I've read through many of the answers given and was struck with the notion that most people think everyone is just like them. If for example you say you are gay but married to a person of the opposite sex and are attracted to that person you are in fact bi-sexual. And this thing where people say that we are all a little gay is nonsense, the person thinking it may be a little or a lot gay but that doesn't mean anyone else is. For example I've been married for a long time, I have many male friends who I really like as people, I play sports and shower with these people are not not the least bit attracted to them. Not a bit, not a little and not at all curious. I'm not at all homophobic, and really don't care what others do, so let's not pretend we know that everyone has to be a little gay or completely straight or not bi-sexual.

    1. Emmyboy profile image81
      Emmyboyposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Great! I just can't understand why some people here who may be secretly bisexual now wants everyone to believe everyone is just like them. That's utterly BS. I am a guy. And I have never and will never be sexually attracted to another man!!!

  5. clivewilliams profile image86
    clivewilliamsposted 6 years ago

    from yuh love a gal yuh not gay, prob bi

  6. Peter Grujic profile image60
    Peter Grujicposted 6 years ago

    Depends on your definition of being attracted. If your are attracted sexually then you might be just curious or actually bi. Just be you and don't worry about some ambiguous designation or label.

  7. profile image0
    Stargrrlposted 6 years ago

    I suppose he can...people can be bi.  Women are bi, so men must be bi as well.

  8. AnnemarieMusawale profile image61
    AnnemarieMusawaleposted 6 years ago

    the obsession with labels is what trips you up. there are many 'straight' women who have been in love with a woman and many 'straight' men who  have experienced the same. sex is sex and the pleasure one derives from it does not necessarily emanate from the sex of the giver or recipient. That's why 'gay' people can have relationships with the opposite sex for years. at the end of the day one chooses to be attracted to one's own sex or the opposite sex. other people decide not to make that choice and derive sexual satisfaction from whomever they feel attracted to at the moment. stop trying to cram people into boxes and you'll find that your dilemma is solved.

  9. profile image0
    MrDanielAbramposted 6 years ago

    If you are attracted to both sexes, then you are bi.

  10. profile image54
    aivaras pinikasposted 6 years ago

    if a homosexual person is attracted to any girl he is automaticly bi

  11. JordanAsh profile image61
    JordanAshposted 5 years ago

    I think that trying to put labels on sexual attraction is far too narrow minded. Take for instance (on the extreme scale granted) that there are people who lust after plants/trees, animals, and inanimate objects. There are people who can only be excited by videos of other people sexually engaged but not by the real thing. To place a label on someone's attractions is incredibly limiting not only to the individual themselves but also to the viewers of that individual. Once given the label, there comes the potential of people being upset when the individual steps outside that label; i.e. in your character's case being attracted to the single individual outside their usual attraction's gender.

    Speaking bluntly, I think we can all admit that there are men and women alike whom we can rank right along the same scale of personal attraction to with gender being a not all too important variable. Personally, I am a straight woman. However, that being said, there are certainly women I find far more attractive than some men I have met. Now whether or not I would take that attraction to the sexual level, not likely; I dont find women's body parts sexually exciting. But then there is a big difference between attraction and sexual excitement. Perhaps that something you should define in your character's actions/behavior towards the person of interest.

    In addition, Id say to consider that people are simply sexual creatures, animals really and when it comes right down to it, attraction and sexual excitement are all based on the right chemicals (emotions) and brainwaves (psychological states) aligning at the right time along with someone else' right alignment. Gender, sexual preference, age, race, nationality... these are all just broad categories we use to try to classify an immensely complicated group (human race) into subcategories (the boxes we use to describe each other by). These categories are essentially as meaningless as lines on a globe or colors on an elementary school map, in the end, we all know that Texas isnt really pink and Florida isnt really blue, and you arent about to just be walking along and find a line in the dirt marking out the edge of an entire country. The degree of possible variance between and within those categories is in fact limitless.

  12. profile image53
    pattymcblackguyposted 5 years ago

    Bisexuality is a bitch most people think its a gay man afraid to come out or a straight man looking for attention in all honesty I've had a couple living in my apt for a while and the girl I've easily fallen in love with while the guy I've had mixed sexual feelings toward fpr a long time, this being said I could never last with either, like a straight guy gping to a strip club, we all know it'll never work out, but I love both of them so the simple answer is yes you can love both but a relationship with either will never last. So either way yes its possible but it's hard and awkward so don't try it but in the land of fiction ot makes a great story

    1. profile image53
      pattymcblackguyposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Btw switch the p's for o's and I consider myself as bi however bi as in equally interested in same and other gender's (male, female, and trans) anyone who says otherwise is a closeminded douche who will never have a 3way ;-)

  13. profile image59
    peter565posted 5 years ago

    Why people would be gay...you need to ask psychologist.  We know there are certain lesbian women that can be attracted to certain men and certain straight women can be attracted to certain lesbian women.  Gay men on the other hand...don't know

  14. lolaestrella profile image78
    lolaestrellaposted 5 years ago

    I think there are people who look pass a person aside the gender. If you are talking about being attracted to personally rather than sexually, this can happen. Most people (not based on research, don't quote me on this) are attracted through personality. If only the culture around us doesn't specify that men should date women and vice versa, I think there'll be a huge difference in our life. Once restricted, we tend to look at gender, however, if you look pass gender and focus on personality, I think, there's a lot of chances that gay men can be attracted to women. Stereotyping isn't making our life easy.

  15. GizSleep profile image72
    GizSleepposted 5 years ago

    I would say it was possible for a gay man to fall in love with a straight woman (and vice versa) as love is an emotional connection. I would say some sort of attraction would be possible but most likely in a more emotional sense than a physical sense.

  16. profile image0
    vhaywardposted 5 years ago

    Sexuality is a deeply personal identifier that is different for every person. As human sexuality and relationships have been studied it has been found that sexuality is less of a classification system and more of a scale. This means that it is possible for someone with strongly homosexual tendencies to still have sexual desires for members of the opposite sex as well. That is why things such as "women crush Wednesday" and "man crush Monday" can be used by both men and women, gay, straight, bisexual or any other point of the spectrum.

  17. Chriswillman90 profile image98
    Chriswillman90posted 5 years ago

    As many have said the lines of sexuality are very blurry. Usually hetero or homosexuality combines both a physical and emotional connection to one particular gender, but not always. I guess this is where being bi plays a role as I've encountered many people who have felt attraction across the genders.

    However even those people tend to identify more so with one gender over the other making them either gay or heterosexual. So a specific attraction over one girl or boy can be an isolated event when on the broader scale the main attraction is towards one gender. Thus the individual could still be considered gay, not bi even if they liked a specific female despite being a gay male.

    If there is truly an even split among the genders, then that's when I feel the person is actually bisexual.

  18. Nicole Grizzle profile image89
    Nicole Grizzleposted 5 years ago

    You should research the differences between sexual vs romantic orientation. But to answer your question, yeah. If you subscribe to the belief that you can fall in love with your friends, then their gender identity doesn't matter I suppose.

  19. profile image0
    Joshtheplumberposted 5 years ago

    Gender identity issues are common with reincarnates. The specific girl would have to have some sort of past life connection that is being relived for some reason... probably something reciprocal. Put something in the story like a dream that helps the characters rectify the past in the present.

  20. Caroline33Thomas profile image55
    Caroline33Thomasposted 5 years ago

    Pansexuality is a defined like gender blindness. I think it is completely possible to overlook someone's physical appearance in favor of their "soul." I have heard of gay men sleeping with straight women, without inciting a relationship, just because they loved them and had so much fun with them but they didn't consider themselves straight after...

  21. prettynutjob30 profile image89
    prettynutjob30posted 5 years ago

    I believe it is very possible for a gay man to be attracted to a woman, and still be straight, as long as the attraction hasn't actually been acted upon.

  22. cperuzzi profile image96
    cperuzziposted 5 years ago

    It all depends how you measure gayness on the Kinsey Scale.

    Alfred Kinsey in his homosexual/heterosexual scale measured it in six degrees "0" being 100% hetero sexual and "6" being 100% homosexual. "3" is perfectly bisexual.  "1" and "2" were measured as incidents of homosexuality on a predominantly heterosexual.  And "4" and "5" were measured as incidents of heterosexuality on a predominantly homosexual.

    Kinsey measured people as having various degrees of homosexuality before having one absolute or the other - so, once again, it depends on how you define your gayness.

    If you define absolutes, then no.  If you measure by predominantly homosexual or heterosexual, then yes.

  23. marchie profile image61
    marchieposted 5 years ago

    Yes. I have known several gays and they have a wife and children too. And they really love their wife. Being born physically as a male, this situation is not impossible. ^_^

  24. MichalWrotter profile image60
    MichalWrotterposted 5 years ago

    To be in love and actually love are two different things. A gay man can love a girl for her character, look etc. But if a gay man love a girl and actually make love to a girl is obvious he is not 100percent gay.

  25. Dakk profile image85
    Dakkposted 5 years ago

    Sexuality is very much an individual thing. People worry a lot about labels, but often ignore that attraction is not always related to appearance or the sex of a person. I know people who are almost exclusively heterosexual, but have/had homosexual attractions for a special someone that they like. There's nothing wrong with that, and its a far more normal thing than most people like to believe.

    Ignore labels such as gay/straight/bisexual. You are attracted to people you are attracted, and sometimes sex and gender don't have much to do with it, and there's nothing wrong with it.

  26. sparkster profile image88
    sparksterposted 5 years ago

    This is a good question. When it comes down to it, everybody (regardless of whether they admit or acknowledge it or not) is bisexual to some degree. It is impossible to love another person without learning how to love yourself first and that in itself requires a small amount of bisexuality (if you are heterosexual). Self-love (narcissism) also ties in with assortative mating in this respect - seeking out a partner who you are likely to have healthy offspring with. So yes, I do believe it's possible for a gay person to have an attraction to a member of the opposite sex without being straight or bisexual.

  27. AshlyChristen profile image83
    AshlyChristenposted 5 years ago

    yes! we can not fight our nature ...not really...and the heart wants what the heart wants and this is true no matter male or female, gay or straight or whatever. passion and love is not definable by race or gender

  28. John Galve profile image69
    John Galveposted 5 years ago

    I know a lot of gay here who impregnate women, mostly their friend or very close. If you are a man, you'll always be a man. You can't change that, same for girls.

  29. voodoomagick001 profile image58
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  30. Patricia Nicolina profile image72
    Patricia Nicolinaposted 5 years ago

    Yes. That man may ascribe any label to himself that he is comfortable with. Sexuality is fluid. It is highly possible to just be attracted to just one person of a gender you are not typically attracted to.

  31. Amanda Holzinger profile image82
    Amanda Holzingerposted 5 years ago

    I have had 1 very flamboyant and very gay man in my entire life tell me. he was soooo attracted to me and in the same breath saying he is super gay but omg he cant stop looking at me. my other gay friend on scene said...uh oh youre gonna turn a gay man striaght! the guy then stated i would probably get with you just once but im too gay to fall in love. i think it's more of a natural human instinct to process beauty as what you think is beauty regardless of sexual orientation.

  32. profile image53
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  33. importantopinions profile image59
    importantopinionsposted 5 years ago

    Attracted, innocently. If he is bisexual, yes he will very much even marry that woman. If he is gay, he loves and adores her as a sister.

  34. profile image53
    pamela whittenposted 5 years ago

    yes, I think it could happen it would be a beautiful thing

  35. profile image54
    Asher Kabirposted 5 years ago

    Gays are usually not interested in females, I should think so. Because, a couple of friends of mine are gays and they will keep talking about cute and sexy boys rather than dashing, beautiful girls or women around.

  36. profile image52
    shelbykoneposted 4 years ago

    Based on your description, I would say the character isn't bi. Sexuality is never concrete. It's possible for someone to be sexually attracted to a single gender, but romantically attracted to all genders, or something similar to that. Think of it this way: if a gay male loves another male, would he still love that male if they spontaneously turned female? In most cases, if it's true love, the answer is yes.

  37. Evane profile image64
    Evaneposted 4 years ago

    I think so. I have observed that too with my gay friends. They seem to like a woman and can even go out a night with her but then, the feeling dissipates afterwards so easily. It is just liking and doing S but with no commitment.

  38. Edge Valmond profile image60
    Edge Valmondposted 4 years ago

    It all has to do with the symmetry of the person. I covered this in another damn topic so in short. Depending on the facial structure of the girl it can cause chemicals to be secreted from the brain to cause an attraction. Thus they are not gay anymore. Bi at best,but not gay. Though I could never understood how someone can go from being gay,to straight(literally exclude the same gender) and then back to gay(excluding the opposite sex completely). Which in short I just think it has to do with their mental state. Since some would go through those phases before deciding which gender they prefer.

  39. profile image49
    Sands66posted 4 years ago

    It's possible and it's impossible because gay and straight and bisexual don't really exist, aren't just three things, so we're dealing in words here, ie what does a particular person mean by the words, because people don't agree.  Human sexuality is a spectrum, and for a lot of people it's situational, so that it's entirely possible for a previously only gay person to turn straight or vice versa, due to a particular person they've met.  Some would say they're bisexual, I wouldn't personally. 

    You've also got to factor in that someone can have different sexual and romantic orientations.  People can be in love with people they don't physically desire.

  40. profile image0
    JDWilhiteposted 4 years ago

    If a 'gay' man can be attracted to the opposite sex, than the whole argument that the homosexual condition is NOT a choice becomes questionable, and supports much research that indicates that homosexuality is in fact a choice and that one can change their attraction tendency.

    1. pruntcess profile image60
      pruntcessposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      I'm curious to see some links to the "much research" you reference ... how reputable are the sources? Because I've never seen anything posted in a peer-reviewed, scientific journal that sexuality is a choice and that one can change their sexuality.

  41. profile image57
    Kayla Glazeposted 4 years ago

    Yes because just because you like one women doesnt mean that you like all women. Because you dont so you are still gay even if you like a women its not your having sex with them

  42. profile image51
    sreshthiposted 4 years ago

    As a writer I don't think.. As if he was attracted to a girl he would have found one..

  43. profile image59
    Rei of sunshineposted 4 years ago

    I've done a little bit of research in the topic of sexuality, and I found out that there is such thing as "homoflexibility" and "heteroflexibility".
    Homoflexibility, as the name implies, refers to a man or woman who is primarily attracted to the same sex (a gay man or woman), but can possibly be attracted to the opposite sex.
    Heteroflexibility, just like homoflexibility, is when a man or woman is primarily attracted to the opposite sex but can also be attracted to the same gender.
    The difference between these sexualities and bisexuality is the fact that bisexuality is often considered more of a spectrum and hetero/homoflexibility is considered the borderline of hetero/homosexuality and bisexuality.

  44. profile image0
    Nudelyposted 4 years ago

    Likely not too much to add after five years, but in 2016 we know beyond all reasonable doubt that sexuality is a two- possibly three-dimensional spectrum. On the x-scale you might have Hetero-Heteroflexible-Bi-Homoflexible-Homo while on the y-scale you have something like (Comfortable with my gender)-(Like acting cross-genderish)-(cross dresser)-(Transvestite e.g. chick-with-a-dick, or guy-you-can-ply)-(Transsexual.) The z-scale would encompass the range from asexual to hypersexuality. You therefore might have a male becoming female who wants females, or a male becoming female who wants males... or both. or possibly neither! He may act on his desires a lot or very little. You have the TVs who look female, sport a hose, and swing just one way, both or just the other.... all the time or infrequently. So labels to suit 7,000,000,000 different people may be a very uphill task!

    Regarding our own sexuality, what we can't know is, "what would we be like without parental, peer, or mass media pressure bearing down on our psyches? What IS our natural sexuality? Does our NATURAL sexuality change over the course of time?" I have only adopted the heteroflexible monicker recently, having considered myself pure hetero in the past. I'm married, am faithful to my wife, but would not object to extramarital play IF the missus was on board with it. I would love to intimately entertain another person or couple if she could open herself up to the idea. She has a very narrow view of societal propriety, however, and so this will never come to pass.

    Back in the 70's, when I was starting in junior high, kids relentlessly teased others about being queer, gay, fags, homos, or jotos (Mexican, 'HOE-toe.) Well, one instantly knew that to be socially accepted they couldn't be seen as leaning toward the homo end of the spectrum, and we insulated our minds accordingly! But what if that pressure had never been there? What if the media's preoccupation with placing one or more gay characters in every drama, comedy, and sit-com had never materialized... would we innately feel different toward others one way or the other?

    The O.P. ponders "I'm wondering if it's possible for..." whatever. That's the beauty of fiction--if you can imagine it in your own mind, and happen to be a good communicator, you can get your audience to believe that it's possible.

    1. Dont Taze Me Bro profile image60
      Dont Taze Me Broposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Nudley,u seem knowledgeable about LGBT(& now Qs).Tell me,if B is for bisexual;meaning someone who has sex with 2 genders,then why have they ignored people who believe they actually are both genders in one person?that'd be bi-gender.

    2. profile image0
      Nudelyposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Yeah, some people refer to themselves as non-binary, so that would be LGBTQN. I think I've seen variations of this ludicrous acronym 8 or 9 letters long. Maybe we need a superscript 3 to indicate B-cubed, you know, Bi/Bi-gender/Beastiophile

  45. Milanosvc profile image60
    Milanosvcposted 4 years ago

    i think no. he must be bi to feeling this

  46. profile image54
    frumpletonposted 4 years ago

    Maybe it isn't a sexual attraction at all.  It might be only that they wished they looked like that person they are attracted to.

  47. Tyty Matthews profile image61
    Tyty Matthewsposted 4 years ago

    Yes, It isn't about sexual orientation. In fact, it is the values and characteristics that you like in a person.

  48. Ivan Tod profile image60
    Ivan Todposted 4 years ago

    I don't believe it's possible if you are looking at it from a distinctive point of view of  gay is gay, straight is straight and bi is bi...etc. However, that being said, I would say that a man who believes he is gay but who is attracted to a woman is actually bi-sexual. Sometimes folks are so entrenched in one aspect of their sexuality that they never give themselves the chance to know who they really and fully are. Personally, I dislike the whole distinctive categorization thing. We're people not lab animals and being multifaceted in all our being, including our sexuality no matter where it leads us, is part of being human.

  49. Lovey McLaughlin profile image61
    Lovey McLaughlinposted 4 years ago

    I used to wonder this same thing .. I was a music major in college and I swear all of our gay friends would have sex with a girl if the mood was right. I almost even started dating one of my "gay" friends: I don't know what you call it .. Love is fluid ?

  50. Eric AEP profile image61
    Eric AEPposted 4 years ago
 
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