Is it ok to feel sad but act as if everything was ok?

1. 61

   Neon_Lettersposted 14 years ago

   Is it ok to feel sad but act as if everything was ok?
   
   Sometimes acting as if everything is ok makes me feel good but the sad feeling always come running when I am alone.

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2. 60

   MissInvisibilityposted 14 years ago

   In some cases I guess it is ok to pretend everything is alright. An example would be a death in the family but you aren't going to mope about if you have a job and children to consider. I do, however, think that society has killed our need for emotional sustenance and that we're suffering for it.

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3. 73

   miss_jkimposted 14 years ago

   Well Neon_Letters, I think that every human being deals with sadness in this way. It actually is a good way to deal with sadness for several reasons.
   
   If you feel sad most of the time and act the way you are feeling, you will find that people won't want to hang around you. Then you will be sad and lonely, a very bad combination.
   
   If you feel sad, but act like everything is ok, you'll have a greater chance of finding people and activities that will help you over the "sad" feelings and into a more positive frame of mind.
   
   If you are feeling sad most of the time, you might need to seek some help. Depression is a very real condition that can be serious if not dealt with. I hope this is not what you are dealing with, but if so, go to your doctor and start getting better.

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4. 61

   rdsacposted 14 years ago

   feeling  sad  is  just  state  of  mind.....this  feeling  will  be gone  after some time.......but   in this  mean  time  try  to  find  reason  behind  why  you feel  sad....and  if you  know  the  answer ...... try  to  work  on  it.....and   be  happy....
   
   acting  as  if  everything  was  ok......is  also  not  good  beacuse   that  would  create   problem   latter........but   act  as  everything  is  ok.....and   if   you  found  something  wrong  just   say   it   in   two  three  sentences.......so  other   people   will   know   that   some particular  thing  you  do not  like.....but   your  are  trying  hard  to  like  it......
   
   try  to  find   some  way   that   you  express   your   both   feeling ......feeling   sad  and   feeling   good......both  are  important.....and   your   behaviour   should   be  combination   of   this   two................................its  okey  to  be sad   when  you  are  really  sad...........but   when   your  happy ......do  not  let  go  that   moment.....try  to  catch   that   moment   in  your  mind.......
   ....................................................................................
   when  your  are  alone.....sad  feeling  comes....to  mind.......this  thing  happens  with  everyone....when  someone  is  alone   sad  feeling  comes...............try   to  share   your   good  feeling   with  your  aloneness..........
   
   if   you  will  stay  alone.....sad  feelings   bound  to come  to  you..........
   
   please   reply  if  possible....!!!!!!!!!!!

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5. 61

   A la carteposted 14 years ago

   It depends on too many factors to give  decent answer to this.

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6. 64

   ThunderKeysposted 14 years ago

   In cognitive behavior therapy acting like you feel better than you do is actually a core clinical strategy. It's called "acting in spite of yourself" or in spite of your feelings of sadness and/or anxiety. The idea is that by acting (getting back to healthy positive activities that are often avoided because of these feelings) in spite of how you feel, you're mood will improve or catch-up to your activity level and quality.
   
   Science also shows that how you act and what you say to yourself can positively (positive self-talk) or negatively influence how you feel. So if you smile and lift your eyebrows a little while getting back to doing things and hanging out with people who care about you; and you talk to your self in a nurturing gentle way, your brain starts to feel happy because of how your mind and body tells it it's feeling. Other people will treat you in an even nicer way when they see you smile and act even if you are just pretending at first, which will also help you to actually feel like smiling and doing things more spontaneously!
   
   So its about taking positive healthy action despite your feelings and the outcome these actions generate.

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7. 61

   ChristineVianelloposted 14 years ago

   I believe it can be harmful to your body to hold in your sad emotions. But, while at work your not sopossed to show any emotions. If being around people makes you feel better, then be around people as much as possible.

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8. 62

   cobrienposted 14 years ago

   I learned in therapy that there is a time and place to display emotions. I take that to mean that there is a time and place not to display emotions.

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9. 61

   6hotfingers3posted 14 years ago

   Its okay to do what you can to manage your sad feelings. People feel sad for a number of reasons. To be sad around friends and family on a regular basis is negative and definitely depressing. I think it is alright to share your pain with a few people. If your goal is to find a way to deal with the pain. If you just want to be sad, that is like spreading a disease. In the meantime, "put on a happy face" while you are trying to get past your pain.

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10. 79

    Relationshipcposted 14 years ago

    I personally think that acting like everything is okay may make you feel worse in the long run. You are not being completely honest with yourself and your outlook on whatever it is.
    
    The best thing you can do is be honest with whatever it is and take action to actually make it okay. Then you don't have to act like everything is okay - it just will be!

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11. 61

    Dave Mathewsposted 14 years ago

    Neon_Letters: absolutely "NO" it is not ok. Not only do you lie to somone else you are also lying to yourself.

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12. 61

    Neon_Lettersposted 14 years ago

    Thanks to everyone for your answers. will keep in mind your comments and try to get through this.

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13. 0

    reeltaulkposted 14 years ago

    No decption kills......in more ways than one!  Even if you take some time and get away to think things out, so that you won't hurt or affend anyone due to what you're going through.  It's best to get whatever you have off your chest than carry it around as well to have it steal yours as well as everyones joy
    
    Vonda G. Nelson

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14. 70

    marketingskepticposted 14 years ago

    I would suggest telling a close friend when you're feeling blue since it must suck having to keep all your sadness to yourself. That way, whenever you're down, you'll have someone there who understands what you're going through and will cheer you up
    
    Good luck!

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15. 61

    Dmianposted 14 years ago

    Talk about it with someone close to you if you been feeling sad for a long time you should get help. Depression is not something to take lightly.

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16. 60

    mariefromsfposted 14 years ago

    I know this feeling, However, i find it exhausting to pretend.  The extra energy it takes to pretend can wipe you out. I don't think people were meant to be alone. I think at some point you have to find someone to talk to who can help.  This may be difficult. Hopefully, you have someone? But never thought to express your sorrow?  I hope your sad feeling goes away.

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17. 61

    Penny Gposted 10 years ago

    Keeping it in only causes you to feel that way longer. Even if you just write it on a piece of paper and throw it away.

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