Why would anyone want to get married again if last marriage was torture?

Jump to Last Post 1-5 of 5 discussions (5 posts)
  1. mariefromsf profile image58
    mariefromsfposted 7 years ago

    Why would anyone want to get married again if last marriage was torture?

    Wouldn't it be wise to never marry again if your last marriage was many painful years of emotional hell and torture?

    https://usercontent1.hubstatic.com/5005898_f260.jpg

  2. ii3rittles profile image78
    ii3rittlesposted 7 years ago

    Coming from someone who is engaged to be married for the first time this Fall, I think it depends on how it ended...

    To me, marriage is a physical and spiritual connection, after all, we become one under God once we are married. It opens the door for two people to create a firm foundation for family making aka having kids.

    If say, a women marries a man who was false about who he was, and once married, he lied, cheated, ect. Yes I am sure it would be hard... My mom is friends with a women who is on her 4th marriage. While, I don't agree with why she left any of them, she still had to courage to go thru it again, and again, and again, and finally, once more.

    Also, I know two people, my fiance's mother and her boyfriend (His step dad) who were both married once and vowed to never be married again. His mother went thru an abusive marriage at a young age. Her husband was an alcoholic and abused her. She had every right to leave. My fiance's step dad, on the other hand, had a wife who cheated on him, with not a man, but a woman, and to me, that's enough for a man to feel marriage is the enemy.

    We can't look at marriage as being at fault for what happens, if a marriage should fail. If people don't connect on a spiritual level in any aspect, I can tell you right now, it wont last. Many people ignore this and become selfish in their own hearts and marry that person anyways and 9 times out of 10 it fails.

    I am no expert on the matter, but I think one can't blame marriage for a failed relationship when the rock wasn't firm in which two people stood on.

    So is it wise, it depends on the approach, but love doesn't always have knowledge. In speaking, Love is blind, we have to rely on a strong heart and follow our own beliefs instead of settling for someone else's. When we settle, we fail.

  3. mcrawford76 profile image83
    mcrawford76posted 7 years ago

    I would have to say optimism. That perhaps that first marriage was just with the wrong person. You have to believe that the next one wouldn't the the same.

  4. profile image0
    Jussara Scottonposted 7 years ago

    If the first marriage was a disaster, doesn't mean the second will be bad. If you get married for the second time you probably  won't make the same mistakes 'cause you'll bring maturity to this new relationship, and you'll probably marry a different person so why do you think there will be torture again? It's a hole new context and everything could happen.

  5. dashingscorpio profile image86
    dashingscorpioposted 7 years ago

    It's not "the institution of marriage" that was the problem in the previous marriage. Most likely it was (selecting the wrong mate) that led to the demise of the marriage.

    If you go to the grocery store to purchase an apple and buy an onion instead...Whose fault is that? Do you lay the blame on the grocery store?

    Each of us selects our own friends, lovers, and spouse. There is no way of getting around this fact. Instead of saying the problem is "marriage" the real problem is with us not knowing ourselves well enough to select "the right person" to spend the rest of our lives with. (When you're not good at something the easy thing to do is to slam the process or throw in the towel. Our lives are the result of decisions and choices we've made over the years.)

    A lot of people don't invest the time to do some introspective thinking to determine what is most important to them in a marriage/relationship or they don't spend enough time getting to know if their future mate has those traits. Many people get engaged during the "infatuation phase" of a relationship.

    Both people have to want the same things for the most part in order for a relationship to last. They have to be growing in the same direction.

    Another possibility is YOU weren't "ready" to be married.
    Getting married for the wrong reason is a recipe for disaster.
    Awhile back I wrote a hub titled "5 Reasons Why Men Should Not Get Married." It could also apply to women as well.
    http://hubpages.com/hub/5-Reasons-Men-S … et-Married

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)