Is it better to marry a person you like to talk,or someone you are physically at

1. 60

   akuiglaposted 13 years ago

   Is it better to marry a person you like to talk,or someone you are physically attracted?

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2. 81

   Hendrikaposted 13 years ago

   Physical attraction tends to wane and is not a good basis for a marriage. You have to like the person and love spending time together.

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   Zubair Ahmedposted 13 years ago

   I'd agree with Hendrika, but also add that you need to have both if your going to marry a person - initially you need to be attracted to a person to consider marrying them and for the longevity of your marriage you need to make sure that you get on with the person. 
   
   What you need to remember is marriage to a person is not the end but the beginning of a wonderful journey - how that journey plans out depends on you and the other person.  Make sure you pack your journey with allot of 'Give-n-Take' and 'Forgive-n-Forget' for it to be an enjoyable trip.

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4. 61

   kristenaugustaposted 13 years ago

   We need people in our lives that like us. People that we like to be with. On a day to day basis physical attraction can only go so far. Find someone you enjoy spending time with. Someone who knows how to make you laugh. If you never look beyond the surface appearance of an individual you may miss out on a true treasure.

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5. 34

   edhanposted 13 years ago

   I love to have a lasting relationship if I am to marry the person. So, it has to be a person that I am able to communicate as well as being attracted to.
   
   That way, it will be 100% of love and affection. Though people may say that it is hard to have best of both world but I am happy to say that I have found my love that has both.
   
   It may sound incredible but then it is true as we have been married for more than 27 years and still growing strong as we do things together and talking the same topic as well as shopping for things we like.

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6. 64

   Lisa HWposted 13 years ago

   I know this doesn't answer the "which is better" question, but I say people ought to hold off until they find someone with both qualities.  There are a lot of physically attractive creeps and jerks out there, but it's pretty difficult to imagine wanting to be married to someone who offers great conversation but isn't someone his/her spouse is attracted to.
   
   Of course, what this question doesn't address is the fact that there's such a thing as people who are great to talk to AND are physically attractive to the other - who still are people that "other" should not marry.
   
   There needs to be mutual love (of the right kind) and respect.  If those two things are there, one reason it is  is usually because the person is someone who we find "great to talk to".  Also, if that right kind of mutual love and respect are there, even people we'd find all that physically attractive can seem to become surprisingly more so.

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7. 59

   WindMaestroposted 13 years ago

   You need to enjoy spending time with them, conversing, laughing, just enjoying their company. You need to have some physical attraction to them, to have a good, proper, successful relationship. But you cannot base a marriage entirely on looks. It just doesn't work. And besides, looks fade, and physical abilities diminish. The soul is the thing that stands strong throughout the good, the bad, and age. You need to love a person for who they are, not what they are, or what they have. You need to love a person in a way so that if all else fails, you will still love being with them. Looks are not deep, they are shallow, and I am afraid my friend, that relationships are an ocean.

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8. 57

   cblackposted 13 years ago

   I think you have to have both if you want to stay happy.

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9. 66

   KateWestposted 13 years ago

   I think you are going to have to initially be attracted to that person, at least. Even if passion fades, it's important to have had it there in the beginning, otherwise you're really missing out.

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10. 78

    ginjill ashberryposted 13 years ago

    Start with one, end up with both. I have a bunch of friends that I enjoy talking to; some on certain subjects, a few are good conversationalist in just about every topic under the sky. Yet, I cannot imagine another relationship that is more than platonic with them. In my experience, when you get physically attracted to a person; a conversation is unavoidable. And when you DO love a person, you care about their interest and dreams, vice versa and the sharing begins. I have known people who loves their spouse deeply, yet all they do is spend time together without a lot of talking.
    
    Mr.X is reading on the porch, Mrs.X sits next to him, knitting. Mrs.X puts down her knitting and stepped into the house. A couple of minutes later, the sound of soft music drifted out to the front. Mr.X smiles and place his book on the side table, he stood up and turn to the front door as Mrs.X walked out. Both smiling, Mr.A open his arms in a welcoming gesture as Mrs.A moved in to the steps of their favorite dance.
    
    Sometime, the deepest bond isn't all about spoken words but the easy understanding and knowing you are perfect for each other.

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11. 60

    zduckmanposted 13 years ago

    What a silly ...and pointless question. If you are going to marry someone...you better be getting the full package...or it is destined to fail.

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