Is it naive to think that there is 'the one'?
and I'm not talking about the matrix. It seems highly unlikely that in a world populated by 6 billion people that there is one perfect person out there, or is it? Does fate compel us to find our perfect partner or do we just settle with what's in front of us?
Oh, that is the question of the ages! Romantics will say, YES...there is the perfect ONE...and fate will lead you to him (or her)...(just watch the movie Serendipity for the perfect example of this)...realists on the other hand would say we just sorta "settle."So the question REALLY is...are you a romantic? Or a realist?
I have a "one" because I chose him. I don't think there is a perfect person out there for anyone. Every relationship requires work, communication and compromise. But when you make a commitment to someone for the rest of your life you are deciding that they are your 'one and only'. It will take work to keep the the love, affection, romance and partnership alive. It's your choice.
Realistically, every person is potentially compatible with an incredible number of other people, some of whom they will meet and others whom they will never know. Who each person will end up with, particularly on a semi-permanent basis, is based more upon when and how people meet, as well as which life stage each person is in at the time, rather than the actual identities/personalies of the people involved.
It sounds more like a romantic than someone who is naive. It also depends on what you define as perfect.
I think there are soul mates that are not always romantic interests and that some people you just connect with magically. True love comes in so many different forms.
well thought there was the one until i met my boyfriend online 2 years ago. I think u feeling happy w that person. It can be what ever u think and feel .
no some people just happen to fall in love with a very compatible person by chance. the chances are, someone even more compatible is within 50 miles for each one of those people
I always believed that there must be a 'one' out there for me somewhere.
BUT...I spent many years in a string of very poor, erratic, unloving relationships. I actually gave up, deciding it was easier and happier to be on my own, and then wouldn't you know, I met my 'one'
That was 2 years ago, and I couldn't be happier or feel more secure and loved if I wrote the book myself!
It has took me to be 46 years old to find this happiness.
What changed? I don't think people appear in your life until your at peace within yourself. The people you are with/attract are usually chosen by you, and they project subconscious faults within yourself. I myself had subconscious issues with trust and commitment, so the men in my life always were untrustworthy and didn't want to commit for one reason or another, but I chose them.
Don't feel downhearted, but be strong and don't go for a second best is what I would say, He will come along one day, if you stay true to yourself and keep your hopes and dreams. :-)
There should be more than one.
It is the timing that is not right yet. So, this will make a person feels that it is only one.
But when the right time comes, you will know that there is always more than one.
I don't think you just settle, but I also don't think there is just one person that you are suited with.
You find someone that you are compatible or happy with and you make it work. All relationships take work. No one person is perfect.
No. There are multiple the ones.
For every person there are several people that you would categorize as the one for you.
relative to infinity, you already are the one, for yourself. you are doing "you", perfectly. so is everyone else. in terms of frequency, there is a "one", who resonates at a highest, (and lowest) frequency as well. by comparing ones insides to others outsides is perhaps foolish, or at least, a poor measuring guide that will always be flawed. by seeing us as separate is where most feel disconnected, when we are not. energy and matter cannot be created nor destroyed, they only change form, all there is, is transformation. go big on that universal law. the partner you "settle for" is perfect, for that time. we will fill our lives with either high values/priorities, or lower ones. there is constant instantaneous equilibration of all life at all times. since all life is made from light as a basis, it is a frequency wave half positive and half negative always balanced out-pain/pleasure-support/challenge-happy/sad-nice/mean. your "soul-mate" is either in the form or one person, or many right now anyway. Dr. Mike
It may be all in the way that you look at it...
I feel I found the ONE when I found my best friend ...
My husband and I have been Married for 4 years but most importantly we have been friends for over 6 ... It is the greatest feeling of all to know that I will always have someone to turn to!
I think that there is a soul mate out there for everyone. Its a question of finding the right one for you. I was married for 20 years and split up 4 years ago. 3 years ago I met the man of my dreams, he is my best friend, soul mate. We are both on the same wavelength and just seemed to connect., I feel that I have known him all my life. We both feel the same about each other. For the past three years we have been living together, working together and spend a lot of time together. We never tire of each other and never run out of things to say. We have both had a tough time and gone through a lot of bad things at the beginning, but it has made us stronger.
It's not "naive" but rather "unrealistic" to believe there is ONLY ONE person in the whole wide world of (almost 7 Billion) people who would "get you", love, adore, and appreciate you for who you are. My guess is there are thousands of people across the planet that would fit that bill if you were able to get around to meet them.
However the truth is most of us set up our own limitations/requirements. We naturally seek to "exclude" rather than "include".
We say she/he has to be of a certain race (that eliminates billions of people right there), they have to be of a particular faith (another group of billions are eliminated), they must be from my own country, (this also narrows down the field), they must already live in my town or at least same state.(Another large segment of the world is eliminated)
And then we start to list our "personal requirements" such as (age range), height, weight, education & income level, hair/eye color, never been married before or does not have children. We then look at their habits (smoking, bad credit/debts, drinking, drugs...etc), their friends and family, shared goals/dreams in common, chemistry, sexual compatibility, and Does the "timing" coincide with what we want to accomplish?.....etc Last but not least we are always "evoling" (Mr/Ms Right) at age 21 may not be our ideal type of mate at age 31 or 41.
Then there are times when you have "found the one" however they don't believe YOU are the one. Therefore by default that makes them NOT the one.
I don't think people "settle". I believe with age comes wisdom and we learn to be "practical". We also come to realize that we're not "perfect" either. You come to realize when it comes to relationships it's not so much about "right" or "wrong" but more about "agree" or "disagree". Finding someone who wants what you want and agrees with you on how to obtain those things is the basis for a long-term relationship or marriage. For the most part "like attracts like". Most of us don't look like movie stars and most of us are not going to end up marrying someone who looks like one either.
"Don't expect to sit next to the moon unless YOU are a STAR!" One man's opinion! :-)
by kandylena5 years ago
Why have women lowered their standards so much?
by Annie6 years ago
Is there someone for everyone, when it comes to finding the right partnerSometimes it easy to play hard to get, instead of getting involved with the first person you met. what do you think?
by Kenneth C Agudo3 years ago
Do we really have soul mate? The person that was destined to us by God?Do you believe in soul mate? If yes then prove and explain.
by jessyferari110 months ago
How do you forgive yourself for being so naive.He took away my virginity and three weeks later slept with another girl, but tells me I'm his all and it was only sex. I was a virgin till I almost turned 21 and intended...
by DIYweddingplanner6 years ago
Let's say you're strongly convinced the love of your life has come and gone, but you don't want to be alone forever. Is it ever OK to settle for that reason?
by Jacqui5 years ago
What brought you to your religion? Any religion (or for those who have fallen out of belief - why?)I'm interested in people's stories. Those who were brought up in the same religion they follow now, those brought...
Copyright © 2018 HubPages Inc. and respective owners.
Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners.
HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc.