jump to last post 1-5 of 5 discussions (5 posts)

How do you tell a friend you told her so in a unhurtful way when she found her h

  1. GlstngRosePetals profile image77
    GlstngRosePetalsposted 6 years ago

    How do you tell a friend you told her so in a unhurtful way when she found her hubby cheating?

    You knew her husband has been cheating and she didn't listen to you but a year later she found out he was.

  2. moncrieff profile image78
    moncrieffposted 6 years ago

    Why would you need to tell her "i told you so"? I think it only indulges your vanity, surely making you feel superior because your were right. But that "i told you so" reminder wouldn't make you a better person. Just my opinion.

  3. GlstngRosePetals profile image77
    GlstngRosePetalsposted 6 years ago

    I guess I shouldn't say told you so. I don't feel superior I guess a little bitter because when I told her she went behind my back and told him what I said and it started a confrontation between him and I. I should also add that her and I are no longer friends because her and her husband used me for money. I guess I'm just hurt because I really considered her my friend untill she stabbed me in a back. Maybe this will show her that i wasn't lying to her or trying to start trouble I just didn't want to see her hurt and now the truth came out and she is hurt. Thanks for responding.

  4. Escobana profile image73
    Escobanaposted 6 years ago

    I think it would have been better to express how you really feel. That you're hurt because of everything that has happened. Being right or wrong is no issue when you're friends.

    I'm sorry to see you lost a friend over it, but maybe there is a way to make things right. If the friendship meant a lot to you, why not try and fix it?

    Even if it's not your call to start a conversation. I've learned over the years that friendships can have their second chance. If that doesn't work...the friendship is really gone.

    When time has passed, the tension isn't there anymore and it makes it easier to talk things over. Good luck and I hope you'll get your friend back or that you'll find closure in a way....

  5. dashingscorpio profile image86
    dashingscorpioposted 6 years ago

    Rarely does the messenger receive a "thank you" for telling a friend the love of their life is cheating on them.
    This is especially true if the couple is married. Knowing "the truth" puts the friend on the spot. They either have run to the court house to file for divorce in order to appear "strong" or they have to deny it's happening in order to keep the dream alive.

    Give anyone a choice between believing a friend or their spouse...most people are going to give their mate the benefit of the doubt for as long as possible. The spouse has more influence or mind share. All they have to say is the friend is "jealous" or never approved of the union to begin with....etc

    I suspect your friend clearly remembers you told her long before it was thrown in her face in such a way that it could no longer be denied. Since your question begins with "How do you tell a (friend).....etc" Probably the best thing you can do to put this behind you is (be her friend). Send her birthday/Christmas cards and other things that friends do during the course of the year. I suspect one day she will confide in you on her own how she felt when you told her and she kicked herself for not wanting deal with it or believe it at the time. Once that happens you can open up about how hurt you were when....etc In order for her to be receptive she will have to open up first.

Closed to reply