What are the danger signs given by a friend who is in an abusive relationship?

Jump to Last Post 1-7 of 7 discussions (7 posts)
  1. K9keystrokes profile image87
    K9keystrokesposted 11 years ago

    What are the danger signs given by a friend who is in an abusive relationship?

  2. sasanqua profile image80
    sasanquaposted 11 years ago

    There are many signs, some more obvious than others. One of the most obvious are physical signs of abuse which the person tries to cover up. If you ask the person what caused the injuries he or she may become anxious or angry, or give excuses that just don't sound right. A person in an abusive relationship may also become withdrawn from his or her family and friends, take lots of days off work (to hide physical signs of abuse), and become depressed or anxious.

  3. dashingscorpio profile image84
    dashingscorpioposted 11 years ago

    As sasanqua  mentioned there are many signs. One key is major changes in their personality. Creating distance between close friends and family members. Showing a lack of interest in things they were known to love doing. Taking on the persona of a child when they are around their mate. Unwilling to disagree with their mate or remaining quiet during discussions about "opinionated subjects". A typical "happy go lucky person" seldom smiles or laughs about anything anymore. Physical signs are a lot easier to spot.

  4. juiwei2000 profile image60
    juiwei2000posted 11 years ago

    It is hard to tell, people in abusive relationship do not like to tell.

    Research prove, the main reason that cause a woman to be in a relationship, is due to unreleastic expectation cause by something professionals refer to as "Response Shaping Process", it is a form of method, of persuading a person to believe in a particular believe when they are yet to have the opportunity to develop an opinion of their own, it is extremely effective amount children.  The reason is because when you have lesser understanding, it is easier to persuade you, because you do not have the require knowledge to contradict what you are been persuade to.  Communist and Nazi also use these to brainwash children too.  Girls in the west, are frequently been taught by their mother a problematic point of view about what true love and true happiness is and what is the necessity of life and because they were children,beliving in that, true love is romance, knight in shinning armor, Cinderella style fairtale romance and that having a man is necessity.

    As a result, some woman who do not have a man, would settle for a substandard male, even an abusive one, believing having an abusive man, is better then having no man.  Some will go out of their way to find romantic relationship, some of these relationship can be both romantic and abusive in the same time, but the girls choose to stay in this relatioship anyway.  To keep a woman with him, the abusive man, will also frequently attack their self esteem, in regards to their physical appearance, low self esteem in their own physical appearance, make them fear not able to get another man, if they leave this relationship, a lot of these attacks are rather vage. 

    It is difficult to tell if a woman is in an abusive relationship, the first step to help them is get them to understand, it is alright not to have a man.  That fairy tale are just stories, they are just fiction, not reality and they need to let go of their believe in regards to fairytale = happiness.  Remind them that while in story such as Snow White,say the princess live happily ever after, they never give a justifiable reason why, if Snow white's prince is a funny guy who love her, then it might justfy happily ever after, but if he is a man who lock her in the dungent and whould chop her head off is she don't give him a mle heir, well if that is true happiness then we rather don't want it.

  5. jkat31 profile image59
    jkat31posted 11 years ago

    Wow, thanks everyone. I am so glad this hub is here. These are all warning signs of abuse as well as cancelling appointments, breaking dates with friends. Also when you do see your friend, he or she may seem very paranoid or feel the need to call to "check in" often.  Most people in abusive relationships are pulled away from close friends and family members by their abuser. This is one mechanism of control. Abuse is about power. Unfortunately, these things can even stick around years later. Mentally, I wanted to "check in" with my current husband and walked on eggshells for years before we discussed this and I am now glad to say that with help, I know that he REALLY loves and cares for me and these behaviors were learned through four years of control with my abuser.

  6. Jarn profile image60
    Jarnposted 11 years ago

    If you're out with this friend, and suggest you go do something, he/she will become anxious and pre-face his/her decline with mention of the abusing boyfriend/girlfriend. Because they fear their supposed loved-one, every action they take starts with wondering whether or not it will anger that loved-one. Hence, an abused person will often say something like, "So-and-so doesn't want me doing that."

  7. Reyna Urduja profile image59
    Reyna Urdujaposted 11 years ago

    I'll try to enumerate as much as I know:

    1. Distancing from friends, even cancelling on agreed date with friends up to the last minute.
    2. Always checking her mobile phone for a message with an anxious look on her face.
    3. Facial grimace when grabbed by the arm. (Either unconsciously she knows what's next or she have some bruises on those arms you accidentally grab hold of)
    4. Too much make up; attempting to cover a bruise or wound that she allegedly gained from falling down the stairs.
    5. Boyfriend/husband always checks on her. All dates with friends are subject for husband's approval. No approval, no going outside.
    6. She gets hospitalized at least once a month for "falling from the stairs, slipping at the bathroom floor, hitting her head from a light post" and other excuses.
    7. Starts neglecting self.
    8. Rationalizes and even boasts that she's happy with her present boyfriend/husband.
    9. Everytime you try to call, husband/boyfriend answers. If she does, she speaks in a hush tone.
    10. Describes her relationship in a fairy-tale like manner.
    11. If you will ask her neighbors, they tell a very colorful story - most of it true.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)