How do you respond to a person who verbally attacks you when you tell them they have hurt you?
Some people do this out of habit, I think! There's not a whole lot to be done except to withdraw from the fight. This can happen in two ways. The first way is by placing my own concerns on the back burner while I let them say all they have to say, give them as much understanding as I can, and then ask them to help me see that they understood my point. If that does not work, I usually will say something like, "I won't try to discuss something with someone who isn't listening to me" and start recognizing that they are defensive and unwilling to treat me as an equal - maybe just for now, maybe in general.
Simple: I don't EVER tell anyone, "You hurt me." To do so would mark me as...well, an easy mark. My wife goes that route, or at least tells me she's been hurt by this or that person.
I can just see it now. A guy gets tossed in prison. Nastiness ensues. Victim tells the perpetrator(s), "You hurt me."
Bad guys respond, "Yeah, that was kind of the point."
My analysis is the following but it is very hard to do. Do not respond! I am not a master at this, but I have learned that usually the more you say the worse it gets. Here on HubPages and in the world as it stands today.
People who attack others usually have a problem within themselves and they are lashing out at others. No, it is not the way it should be, but anyone who will purposely hurt someone else will only continue with their bad behavior until they decide to work on their inferiority complex by getting some type of help with personal growth, life coaching or self help.
Ignoring those who are making the attacks will get to them far worse than saying something back, and by not lowering your standards to their; you are a better person yourself. Nothing you can say will change their mind; it would have to come from within themselves. Being strong enough to turn the other cheek is hard. Sometimes almost impossible. But....in the long run; you have said all their is to say about their behavior. Meaning their behavior is not worth you wasting your valuable time to try to get an apology,
I have always been a believer that eventually; somewhere they will meet with the event that "what goes around, comes around." Not maybe, not usually, but always. When someone, somewhere makes them feel inadequate or hurt; they will remember their treament of others.
Keep your chin up and believe in yourself and let nothing or no one destroy your own foundation. You know the truth....live the truth and the truth will set you free.
Talk to them like a child and kill them with kindness. Ex. " I understand that you are upset over the truth but your behavior is childish. Maybe you should take a time out."
Do I hear crickets.................................................................................. well that's what they should hear after their performance!
by rikabothra 18 months ago
Hi everyone,Here's a thought...We have been taught to speak the truth, but it is right to do so in the cost of hurting/harming someone? Especially if that someone is a person we care for? It is one of the biggest dilemmas, what do you think?
by Audrey Selig 15 months ago
How do you handle a close relative who keeps putting you down for no reason?
by jaydawg808 2 years ago
Is it better to lie than to hurt someone's feelings for being honest?
by G. Diane Nelson Trotter 2 years ago
How do you respond when commenters make personal attacks on you about your faith or your comments?Do you argue? Is that profitable? Do you report the offender? Is that loving?This relates to Hubs that are decidely about Christianity.
by Sabrinna. 7 years ago
Shouuld You Tell The Truth, Even If You The Truth Could Hurt?
by Valerie F 7 years ago
When is someone being verbally abused as opposed to just too sensitive?How does someone know if they're in a verbally abusive relationship or if they are just too thin-skinned?
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