What do you think is harder to get over: divorce or death of a spouse?

1. 60

   Sheila Leeposted 13 years ago

   What do you think is harder to get over: divorce or death of a spouse?

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2. 72

   thesingernurseposted 13 years ago

   I think the latter. Because in divorce, you have all the time making things better with your spouse. Death means a loss forever...
   
   *Only my opinion*.

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3. 62

   Lisa HWposted 13 years ago

   Fortunately, I haven't had a spouse die (but my mother did, and she was only in her fifties when she did and when my father died at sixty-two). I have, however, lost loved ones (like both of my parents), and I don't think any divorce (that a person doesn't want) could be any worse than losing a loved one.  On top of that, there's the whole thing that people who lose spouse through death have added complications tied to both death of a loved one and a devastating and unwanted change in one's life and plans for the future (as well as a lot of other issues associated with being widowed).
   
   I think the main reason a divorce would be hard to get over would be if one spouse loved the other very much and didn't want the divorce.  With that, though, real love is supposed to be about wanting the other person happy - not about what we lose.  So, if we really love someone; I'd think that at least knowing they're happy should help ease the sense of loss (IF the love we have for them is whole and real and what genuine love is supposed to be).  A lot of love, though, isn't as whole and real as people think it is.  A lot of it is more about what the other person brought to our life and to us.  The sense of loss isn't about sorrow over what happened to them.  It's sorrow over what the person left behind lost.

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4. 70

   dashingscorpioposted 13 years ago

   Death as an ending to a relationship is probably much harder than divorce.
   This assumes the couple was happy in their marriage.
   Although divorce can be tough especially if you did not want the marriage to end but at least the decison to end it was made by someone (in the relationship). Eventually self love kicks in and you realize you deserve to be with someone who (wants to be with you). Death on the other hand can leave you feeling incomplete. Most likely it would be tougher to get back into the dating scene. It's much harder to let a dead spouse go emotionally in my opinion.

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5. 71

   lburmasterposted 13 years ago

   Death of a spouse. When you get a divorce, the other person is still alive and you can get away from them. If your upset at them, it is easier to move on. If they died and you adore them, then there is more to upset you and more to face. Bills, funeral, family (on both sides), kids (if you have them), depression, moving, the will, etc.

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