Thats the glue that holds something together! If your dating before and don't say it then I doubt they get married. If you've been married a long time that is no excuse to not tell someone that you love them. It is extremly important to say 'I love you' especially in a marriage.
In a lot of ways, we never stop being children. It is just as important to hear that you are loved and to feel physical touch for a marriage than it is for children. Children who have this confirmation of love and affection flourish as do marriages that have it. Marriages that do not have often look outside of the marriage to get it or are at least tempted to do so when someone gives them this type of attention.
My husband died young. When this happens to anyone, it is natural to wonder, doubt, and wish you would have done things differently. One thing that I did not have to go thru was wonder if he knew how much he was loved. I called him love, amor. Kisses everyday. No regrets.
It has importance but if said too much and too often it becomes quite generic and loses its real meaning. Especially in longer marriages.
I believe it varies from person to person as well as marriage to marriage. Ideally those who want to hear it should choose a mate who expresses themself verbablly. Strong "silent" types or so called "practical" types rarely become romantic gushers. One of the main purposes of dating is conducting"due diligence". That's the time to determine if this person is (the kind of person you want to spend your life with). Unfortunately too many people become engaged or married before they have seen their mate's "authentic self".
To me it's very important, not only in marriage but with everyone that I love. I never leave their presence without saying I love you, and I never close a conversation without saying I love you...without that, I would feel a bit of emptiness.
The partner who is auditory, or whose love language is "affirmation" needs to be assured as often as possible. Say it. It takes so little energy, none at all on some days.
It is good to be said as a present thought to each other,BUT, it is also known by the action and reaction of spirit ,which say it best....and words then,have no need to be spoken.
It is extremely important to feel loved, but that does not mean you have to hear the words ILY. Behaviors and facts speak much louder than words.
I've seen people ending every telephone call with "I love you", and turn around and cheat on their spouse.
Even if I love to hear "I love you", I prefer loving gestures and deeds than words.
It is always nice to hear those 3 special words, but as they say, "Actions speak louder than words". I would rather someone show me how much they love me than to just give me lip-service. :0)
by Jewels2940 3 years ago
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