What Is The Best Advice For Dealing With A Bully Coworker?
What Is The Best Advice For Dealing With A Bully Coworker?
There are a variety of ways to deal with this. Depending on your personality it might be best to call them out on their ways with a couple of witnesses who will vouch for you. Often, when brought to light, adult working bullies realize that putting food on the table and keeping a roof over their head is more important than feeling like king of the hill.
Trying to avoid a bully at work can be difficult when you are forced to be in the same places so I don't advise that unless you have thousands of coworkers and are allowed to run about avoiding people.
If this is not your style you might go the route of complaining to higher ups but be sure to have at least one or two suggestions for resolving the issue, whether the person should be moved to a different department, have a private discussion with higher ups and the bully, or fired altogether.
This is a tough issue that if left unchecked can lead to workplace violence, people calling out sick, or high turnover. If you go to higher ups, make sure that you bring up these facts. Do not leave this nonsense unchecked because it negatively hurts you and the company if it is. I wrote a hub about adult relational aggression, it might have more options for you.
This actually happened to me a couple of years ago. Initially, I tried talking to the bully, explaining that I didn't appreciate his behavior. He apologized, told me that he was "under a lot of stress" and that it wouldn't happen again. Unfortunately, it did happen again and in front of a customer (we worked in a retail environment). I immediately went to my supervisor, who told me to speak with upper management. Long story short, the bully happened to be a manager (not mine, but the manager of a neighboring dept) and upper management ended up siding with the bully. It reflected negatively on my next evaluation. I quit out of frustration and was able to collect unemployment because the Texas Workforce Commission investigated my claim of harassment and determined that I had indeed been harassed. Can you guess what retailer this might have been? If you guessed Wal-Mart, then you're correct. I've been out of work since (which gives me more time to write), and when I look back on how stressful the situation had become I'm convinced I did the right thing.You should never have to put up with a bully under any circumstances. Hope this helps!
A person tends to be bullied when they do not stand up for themselves. I do believe that it is best to stand out for yourself when you encounter a bully. If the bully sees that you are weak, he will take advantage over you.
Confront the bully and show no fear.
If this employee is not over you or your boss then I wouldn't feed into their behavior... ignoring ignorant people usually works!
Another tactic is to go to your boss... explain the situation! This may or may not work depending on the relationship between the bully and your boss! If they are big buddies then this is not an option!
A person has to learn to take up for themselves! It's different when it's a child... it's the parent's and teacher's place to keep an eye out for the bullies of the world... but grown people should be able to take care of themselves when it comes to bullies! Just stand up and tell this person they are NOT your boss and you don't have to listen to anything they have to say...then ignore them when they speak! Walk away... keep working... turn away.. whatever! Just ignore them but tell them to leave you alone!!
You should not be intimidated by your bully colleague. If you are meek, he will bully you and make your life a hell. You must be affirmative and confident enough to be able to handle him and when he sees that you cannot be taken for granted, he will cross your path.
Obviously, the ongoing difficulties posed by bullies has no pact solutions. When I was growing up, I was told by my parents to ignore them. With technology today, ignoring a bully is ineffective as anonymity gives the abuser a sense of protection. Ignoring the bully usually escalates their hostility, anger and tactics.
Since many individuals are intimidated by bullies, there is a reticence to risk interceding in fear of becoming the next target. This lack of backup often leaves the target of abuse "on their own". Depending on the personality and self-confidence of the abused, they may continue to ignore the bully to the detriment of their self-esteem or confront the bully to the detriment of their physical safety or mental health.
The prevalence and devastating consequences of bullying on the victims has instigated awareness and interventional programs aimed at educating children and adults. Parents, teachers and those in authority are learning to watch for signs and devising methods to deter abusive behavior and initiate consequences for perpetrators. When a bully feels justified in his/her actions, or is consumed with hateful thoughts, it is difficult to make an impact. Change is difficult, even when it is desired. This makes changing bullying behavior a difficult challenge.
People will pick out the weaknesses in you that they are most self-conscious of themselves. By picking on you they make themselves feel better. Never stoop to their level, hang your head high and endow them with kindness. I've made enemies friends.
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