Have you ever disliked someone out of loyalty?

Jump to Last Post 1-12 of 12 discussions (16 posts)
  1. dashingscorpio profile image87
    dashingscorpioposted 5 years ago

    Have you ever disliked someone out of loyalty?

    Maybe this person hurt a friend, sibling, or co-worker in some way (but) they have never been anything but kind towards you. Should your friend's enemies be your enemies by default? Is it (mature) to allow your friend's experiences with someone to effect your behavior towards them?

  2. profile image0
    JThomp42posted 5 years ago

    As adults, I do not think it mature to not like someone just because a friend has a problem with this person. Especially if they have never shown any disrespect toward you or shown any problems with you whatsoever.

    1. dashingscorpio profile image87
      dashingscorpioposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      I agree.

    2. profile image0
      JThomp42posted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you dashing.

  3. peachpurple profile image83
    peachpurpleposted 5 years ago

    Yeah, I don't think it is wise to dislike someone although that person did not hurt you indirectly but somehow, the person who had been hurt gives  you the negative information and you will naturally be on guard of that  person. It is human being's natural habit.

  4. relawshe profile image72
    relawsheposted 5 years ago

    I think if the person has always been kind towards you, then it is appropriate to be kind in return to them.  If you have a friend who does not like or associate with that person, then you can do your friend a favor and not put both of them in the same room together, because that would be awkward for them, but there's no reason why you cannot remain friends with that person on your own time. 
    And even if you want to remain loyal to your friend and not associate with the offensive person, that doesn't mean that you have to be mean or rude to them.  You can still be courteous to them while limiting your interactions with that person.

    1. profile image0
      SandCastlesposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      It really depends on what the person did to your friend. Did a man brutally beat your friend and put her in the hospital on several occassions. Is he a remorseless monster but is nice to you? Would you be polite and kind to this man?

    2. relawshe profile image72
      relawsheposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      I agree that it depends on what the person has done to your friend.  I was operating under the assumption that since the question was asking about "disliking" someone, I assumed that we were talking about more "minor" infractions like gossiping.

  5. profile image0
    The_Idea_Galposted 5 years ago

    I thought about this and here's what I've found to be true.  In my experience the people who have been unkind to my friends and family usually are not nice to me either. I have never had someone be extremely nice to me and not treat the people I care about well.

    If I were to encounter someone who was good to me but treated my close friends and loved ones badly, I guess I would have to question their integrity, as someone who is not in line with the people I share the same values with. 

    Usually you can read a person and get a gut feeling on whether they are genuine or not. With that said, I treat others with the same respect and kindness that they extend to me.

  6. djdaniel150 profile image61
    djdaniel150posted 5 years ago

    My answer, yes! If my best friend don't like you, then I don't like either. Its nothing personal either, but I'm not going to pick sides between someone I do not know and my best friend. Friends win out in the end. Loyalty can go a long way. Its a matter of trust. Would you trust someone you hardly know, or your best friend you've known for 16 years? Think about that!

  7. Babytech profile image79
    Babytechposted 5 years ago

    Yes! A few times. When I care for someone, it is hard to stand and watch how someone else is hurting my friend. I know, it's not the best way. But I like to defend my loved ones. I don't think it's a mistake to dislike someone out of loyalty, but we all must assume responsabilities for our action. I'm loyal. I like to defend. I assume my actions. With no regrets.

  8. profile image0
    SandCastlesposted 5 years ago

    It depends. I don't just jump on the bandwagon. It depends on the situation. In situations where someone is envious and they try to get everyone to hate a target, that is a different story. These people are usually narcissistic and want to be the boss and they pressure people. I don't go in for that; I will not simply dislike someone because someone decides that I am not supposed to like them, "Okay nobody is allowed to talk to Molly because she looked at me funny". These types use people to punish other people and play the shunning game. No thanks. That behaviour is not mature at all and it is downright cruel and I think people who go along are spineless. They are so eager to be accepted that they quickly hate whoever the 'boss' tells them to hate-which is pathetic.

    If someone is hurtful and cruel to someone I care about; that is a different story. To be friends with this person is disloyalty. People have to make choices; they can't always sit on the fence. People who do this are often looking for the best deal for them; they don't want to burn any bridges so they don't take sides. They don't even stand up or say anything. This is cowardice and being self-serving. But it all comes down to the situation.

    If someone is cruel and hurts you (they've hit you, they've slandered you, they attack you, etc...) and your 'friend' does not have your back, they are not a friend; they are a self-serving rat fink. 

    But if someone just doesn't like someone and they want to lead you around by the nose, they are not respecting your free will. They are using you like a guard dog. Some people are control freaks. You can't even smile at the person they've decided to dislike. You can't be polite or engage small talk. You have to scowl at them. No-in those situations, the person who is 'hating' is wrong and unreasonable.

  9. LoisRyan13903 profile image81
    LoisRyan13903posted 5 years ago

    Yes I tend to do that as well.  Usually the one who is doing the hurting is not my friend anyway.  I know as a Christian I should not do that but I guess my human nature takes over.  But if my friend does not like someone for a petty reason but the other person didn't do anything to my friend, I won't dislike her.  When I dislike the other person, I will just not talk to her-I won't be mean or anything

  10. WalterPoon profile image79
    WalterPoonposted 5 years ago

    Actually, I am not the best person to answer this question because I never believe in loyalty. If you are right, you are right, and if you are wrong, I will tell you straight in the face. But I must admit that I've mellowed with age. What is the point of confrontation, if I can avoid it. After all, not everyone likes me, so why should I be holier than thou?

    So coming back to your question... if that person is kind to me, I will ask him why he did what he did and listen to his explanation. If I find something wrong with his explanation, I will be on guard. But if it's just a misunderstanding, then I will tell the other party accordingly. But I will never make my friend's enemy my own.

  11. step2cs profile image67
    step2csposted 5 years ago

    The multiplicity of the question makes it hard to answer. If the question is, do you dislike someone JUST BECAUSE your friend has a problem with them, then the answer is no unless you are still child. If the question is do you dislike someone who you know for a fact emotionally HURT your friend or loved one, then it is probably right to stand-by your friend.  If we are talking about wife-beaters and violent people physically Hurting your friend or loved-one, then its quite obvious that you have reasons to dislike the offending person regardless if they are "nice" to you.

  12. jdw7979 profile image81
    jdw7979posted 5 years ago

    Yes, I have. We humans are flawed, and often at that. However, most of us take friendship and family very, very seriously on a personal basis. If a person shows the capability of backing you up in certain scenarios you are more likely to take their word on something regarding a stranger or someone you hardly know.

    Sadly, we do this. All I can say is in regards to over coming this. Just be open minded, unless said person your loyalty is geared against is truly known to be a bad person or evil, make up your own mind while explaining such to your friend.

    You may however upset the status of your personal relationship with the individual you share loyalty with. So, be careful.

    We all judge to some degree. Sometimes justifiably so and most times, not so much. Life is nothing but curveballs, so swing away and when on base, put forth some smarts and make good, thought out instead of rash decisions. Though, we do not have a 1st and 3rd base coach to help us..

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)