When someone close to you has lied or used you, how do you handle the situation?
You need to look at the reality of the relationship. Were they truly your friend or close to you at all. People lie to protect themselves. Remember it doesn't reflect on you. Based on the true nature of the relationship you have to decide if this was a deal breaker. They can be around you but not a part of your intimate circle if they can not be trusted. Like a relative who will always be related. But sometimes you have to forgive them so the anger and hurt don't eat at you from the inside out and move on without them in your life. You deserve only the best, Good luck. Life lessons are never easy.
I wrote a hub on this issue "I'm Angry - Don't Mess With Me." In a nutshell, set limits on your relationship to protect you from it happening again. Forgiving helps you - not necessarily them.
The first thing I would ask myself; "Is this a deal breaker?" In other words do I want to end all contact with this person? If the answer is (no) then I try to imagine myself being in their shoes. (I would only do this if we were really close). It is highly unusal for someone who is "close" to you to "intentionally" do something to hurt you. By close I mean someone you have a track record of having established honesty, trust, loyalty, love, and respect over the years.
There are two basic reasons why people lie:
1. To avoid the pain or repercussions of dealing with the truth. This includes causing someone else pain, dealing with their anger, hurt, and disappointment.
2. To keep the thrill alive. Whatever they are doing behind your back they don't want to stop. Therefore they lie to avoid being pressured to stop.
When someone has lied to us, used us, or betrayed us we are hurt and insulted but most of all we regret allowing them to become close to us in the first place. We start to wonder how many times they've lied to us, were we ever really close in (their eyes). Generally speaking if someone close to me hurts me it will either create some distance between us or I will let them go altogether. We get to (choose) who we spend our time with. I can't think of a reason why I would invest a lot of time and emotion on someone who is not trustworthy. One man's opinion! :-)
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