Is it ok to date multiple people while searching for Mr./Ms. Right?
A lot of people have an automatic "monogamous mindset" when it comes to dating. They assume they're in a relationship if they see someone frequently even if they've never discussed being "exclusive". If there has been no discussion of exclusivity is it cheating to date others?
A typical company interviews several candidates before offering the position to one of them. However no candidate (assumes) he/she has "the job" unless an offer has been made. I believe communication trumps (assumption) any day. If there's been no talk of commitment don't assume the person you're with thinks you are.
I think it is okay to date multiple people if one is not exclusive. It is not considered cheating if both are free to date others. If there is no strings attached meeting and dating other people should not be a problem. No one is tied down.
I see nothing wrong with dating multiple people...IF honesty, diplomacy and integrity are made clear from the very beginning.
For example, when i traveled alone to Hawaii years ago, i was laying on the beach, and i was approached by a man who invited me to have a drink with him. i sat up, looked him in the eye, and i said, 'Let's make it clear right now: I am NOT a pick-up, I do NOT engage in sex with a stranger, and i do not drink. If you are comfortable with that,. I will join you for a coke."
I think anyone who is dating multiple people should tell the person, "I am dating multiple people...' from the very start.
That being said, your question, 'is it okay to date multiple WHILE SEARCHING FOR MR./MS. RIGHT? - i personally do not believe in 'searching' for a Mr./Ms. Right.
I think Mr./Mrs. Right most of the time comes as a surprise. My nephew spotted 'her' across the room at a party...they are now married. I spotted my Mr. Right in a garden chasing a little girl visiting his home; My daughter spotted her Mr. Right during a handshake in an office.;
MANY PEOPLE who have fallen in love have shared that when they first met it was instant chemistry. My best friend's daughter called her up and said, 'I just met the man i am going to marry."
I would find 'searching' to be extremely frustrating. I think those who just live their lives have great surprises in store...because when he/she meets Mr./Ms. Right, they won't even see it coming. It becomes a very glad surprise. Blessings, Sparklea
A person might not search but they do have to get out there and meet people and in the process of meeting others, some might end up finding 'the one'. You have to go to social events. You're not going to meet someone if you stay at home. So in a way, going out and mingling and going to events is searching, not directly, but it puts you out there. For reserved people, how do they find 'the one'? Will it just hit them light a bolt of lightning? And where do you go to meet the person? A bar isn't a good place to meet 'the one' I don't think. Someone mentioned that she met her love at a party and that her nephew met his loved one at a party as well; well that's not just chance unless you wander into the party of a stranger and don't know anybody. Usually there is some 'setting up' going on, "You have to go to this party, so and so will be there". And there is a safety in attending the party of known people (those invited have been checked out, somebody probably knows their family). So it is not just a case of zap, like you'll meet your true love at the grocery store. More likely, you'll meet a predator looking to steal your purse. People shouldn't simply following their hearts; what looks good might not be very good at all. Searching also means making sure the person is okay-getting to know their family, where they work; their history and background. Were they in jail for assault for example? Women (or men) who just fall for a guy (or girl) they meet (with no knowledge of his background or family) could end up getting together with a con artist.
Should you date multiple people while searching for the one (getting to know them, going out to dinner or a movie). Of course. That means you don't choose the first person you meet. You want to make sure the person isn't a nutbar. My opinion.
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