I think you have to ask why you want to have sex on the first date.
If you just enjoy having sex and that is what you would like to do, then I would say go ahead and enjoy it. Have fun and know that there is not likely to be a second. Maybe there will but not likely. You and your date already decided what was most important which was sex.
If you want to have it because someone would expect it and you really dont want to do it, then dont. Easy as that. In fact stay away from these type of men.......The longetivity of the relationship will be short. There are also a bevy of things that go with short-term frequent sex/
So the bottom line is if it is exciting and that is what you want.......ie sex not a relationship, go ahead. If you want more than one date and you like ther person, then dont.
I think often we think about an unwritten sexual protocol.......Rules of engagement if you will. All I can say is follow your own rules.
I think the quality of my relationship is far more important than sex but that is me and that would be my personal choice.
After I was divorced in my mid 30's, my favorite dates were 1 night stands. If the chemistry is there, what's wrong with bringing joy and satisfaction to both on the first date? I loved the ladies, I loved consensual sex, I loved the animal passion of 2 bodies locked in wild, hot, crazy and delicious sex! I can find nothing wrong with that.
I agree, dating has moved onto a whole new level altogether, what with online communication, skype etc. Even before a proper 'date' in person, lots of people these days have already moved through that initial awkward stage because of web cams. Not saying, it's the same as meeting in person, but just that if one's relationship has progressed for a certain time already online, then when you do meet in real life (and there are no rude shocks!) it's not very hard to get physical with each other the very first time.
Not saying it's right or wrong either way, but just that it happens...
sometimes it can feel right, again that depends on the persons and circumstances. It felt so right between me and my husband and we never left each other ever since (well, apart from when we broke up last year).
It all depends on what you're looking for as a person when you agreed to have a first date to begin with. Having sex with someone you barely know can be exciting, fun and if you're not after any sort of commitment and you both feel an instant attraction to each other, then why not? On the other hand, if i'm in a stage in my life in which I'm aiming for a little bit more than just a fling and I feel serious chemistry with my date, then I'd try waiting a few more dates. When sex is in the middle so soon it can make things complicated when they're really not. As a woman, I find it quite hard to separate feelings and expectations of my date with the actual sex intercourse, and I wouldn't want it any other way!If I have to compare my greatest sex experiences with someone I have just met and with someone I've been dating for a while, I'd rather the latter, even if eventually the relationship didn't work. Besides, having said that, first times with strangers can be fun, but they can also be awkward. As for on line communication, the same thing applies. Maybe this sounds just like an old fashioned girl thing but if I really like the guy and I have some basic interest in the person further than mere physical pleasure, I will wait.
An honest man will tell you that if he has sex with a girl on a first date, he may enjoy it, but he probably won’t want to date her seriously because the mystery and the challenge are gone. Men are hunters and enjoy the chase, and the longer the chase goes on, the greater his respect and the more likely a woman will win his heart.
Often when you refuse to have sex too long, he will leave because he feels you don't like him. He has needs too, you know. And it's not about the physical aspect of it (though it's certainly attractive).
So be careful, playing coy can backfire big time. You have to take into account his needs too. That's what's relationship is all about, no?
If the mystery and challenge are gone after sex on the first date, there wasn't much there to begin with. I would have to say the mystery and challenge would be to see if it happened again on the 2nd date?
Haha, this is called me not reading what I wrote. I'm not a big supporter of online dating and didn't want to get into the whole 'sex on first date since we have talked 'dated' online for 5 months' thing. Some people find it a touchy area....bad choice of words on my part.
I'd say definitely not, for me, because I like to know that a guy will work hard for that particular privilege . However, that said, since online was brought up...I have had sex on a "first date", though it was after six months of talking to the guy online and it was his first day here after giving away nearly all of his earthly possessions and moving thousands of miles to be with me. I think he already proved he was willing to work hard for it. And I married him a year later, so I guess it worked out just fine .
It seems the more male and the more mature male favor sex on the first date. The more burned by love, the more eager for quick passion.
The women, some seem to marry whoever they have dated longest without having had sex. Some seem as if marriage was a trap set by the male they dated.
Others warn of the dangers of diseases from those too keen to wait.
So, what would it be. I think it depends on the relationship. If you know someone and like them then the shift from friendship to a sexual relationship could be one that is a natural progression. For those who have waited until they were in a deep committed relationship, just to find that in bed there is no passion or joy or fun or desire....
So what can be the sign of a relationship set to bloom?
And are all relationships meant to be those that last for life?
There are a few very stereotypical male responses to what they expect of women, whilst they may pressure for the opposite and then project an image upon the female that may in fact be their own.
Possibly, boys should be educated in how to woe a girl and develop good relationships rather than the did you get any... does she put out?
Which, for some has resulted in a boy bumbling his way forward with a girl who had no desire give that part of her to someone wanting to prove his manhood to his friends in the playground.
And that is it. At that age, it is still a playground - teach boys respect and girls freedom to choose.
The atypical response in regards to having sex on the first date is either it is not okay for moral reasons or it is all right.
There is no middle ground. I do beleive that people should do what the believe is right not what they are led to believe.
You bring up a good point. We as males have been socialized in the sexual sphere. "Did you get it?"......... is a common thing that we hear. In fact we are socialized to believe that verility is so important. ie frequency, size, longetivity ect.
Sex on the first date for most is a "one night stand". For most men a one night stand is stroke of their virility. I think if someone is interested in developing a relationship they should refrain from making sex the most important part. There will be sex at some point and it may be real frequent but at that point it will part of the relationship as opposed to some social necessity.
I think that if you love someone, if you truly have feelings for them, then that is the standard. Sex is a natural and beautiful expression of two people in love. Call me a prude, but I find the idea of casual sex both cheap and empty. I realize some people are able to separate sex from emotion. I have never been able to do that.
But, sure, if I see a beautiful woman, I'm prone to turn my eyes over her once, albeit discreetly. ;-)
that is an easy trick - love for the moment, suspend disbelief and pretend you are both in some tacky bodice ripper - worked for me in my 'working' days, every time now of course I am a sober well behaved gentleman
If you've known someone a long time, and this first date is more like a "tryst" - go for it! But sex with someone you don't know very well is always a very, very bad idea - don't make yourself so vulnerable - even being alone with someone you don't know very well is a bad, bad idea!
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