Would you date a homeless person if you found that you were sincerely attracted to him/her?
Not all homeless people look like what you might think...
Imagine that you are in a social setting, and you meet a nice guy or girl that you find that you are physically attracted to him/her.
You see that person in several other social settings and you start getting to know one another, and then you find that you are emotionally attracted to him/her.
Then when you meet up in a one on one situation, you find out that this person (although well dressed, well groomed, intelligent, and emotionally stable) lives in a homeless shelter...
What would you do????
First things,first, I think I'd help him find a place somewhere. I'd bring him job lists help him sign-up for monster and some other sites. And once he had a job, I'd give him lists of apartments. If he got on his feet, at some point I guess we cold get to know each other. If he wasn't making an efforts himself, I don't think I would take it further. There are plenty of guys, that are working on themselves, who are available.
Seriously, if he's just had a turn of bad luck and was out on the streets then I'd have no problem in dating him if we were "soul mates" or really seemed to hit it off on so many levels. I'd even let him live with me BUT he has got to eventually get a job to help pay the bills. And if he looked like that pic, he might not even have to work. KIDDING! :0) But if he is homeless just because he has a high IQ and doesn't think he should have to work or feel it's beneath him then no.
I tried dating a homeless girl once, everytime we made love we kept falling out of the box.. you know how embarassing that is rolling onto the alley butt naked.. even the alley cats shook their heads in disgust...
Maybe, I think each situation is unique to the person. Just like people fall in love with felons behind bars, I think you can date someone determined to not be defined by their present situation. I mean in this economy, it's a wonder not more of us aren't homeless.
Although I'm more than aware that perfectly fine and mentally healthy people can find themselves homeless, I'd probably not want to start up a relationship with the person at the time. Regardless of what's someone's problem/obstacle/challenge is, I generally think it's best of hold off on starting a new relationship before getting the biggest "complications to life" out of the way first.
I certainly wouldn't rule out the idea of dating the person later. Besides getting the "complication" of homelessness out of the way, that would also offer more time to get a better reading on whether this individual actually WAS as wonderful and well adjusted as he appeared to be
When I left my marriage I was left by the court without a place to live. The last thing I needed or wanted in my life was to date someone. If I'd met someone I liked at that time I probably wouldn't have liked to do things like meet that person for coffee every once in awhile, but a person who has no place to live really needs to put his focus on doing whatever it takes to have a place to live and live a normal life before bringing new, major, elements into that life. (Just my opinion and way of operating, of course. Other people aren't quite the sticklers for cleaning up one mess before opening the door to another one, or else before bringing their mess into someone else's life, that I am. LOL )
In any case, if that wonderful homeless person I met didn't think the same way as I do about this particular situation, I wouldn't want to date him anyway; because I'd think he wasn't as good at minimizing life complications as I am (which would mean he wouldn't be right for me anyway).
I dated one and ended up married to him... on the serious side of things
sometimes in our life we have to say no.. to certain things. else in the long run
it might haunts us.... homeless person need loving too, but, in the first place why are they homelesss. , that a sign a red flag, and nope .. sorry
Anyone can end up homeless these days. There are all types of situations that may be out of this person's immediate control. If they are worth pursuing might take time for me. Do they really have goals they're working toward? Are they trying to dig themselves out of their current situation? Is there actually going to be a future with them, or am I just dreaming? It should take time to see if they're going to get out of it.
I would start dating--whether with a homeless person or not--with friendship and test to see what the potential is. People all have issues--they just look different. The homeless person has one issue--and the guy who lives in his parents basement by choice due to laziness has another issue. The rich man with a home that treats women as an object or a prize has another issue. Friendship first will help determine if the person is right for you and if the person is mature enough (assuming you are mature and want to be in a mature relationship) to take wise steps. When I used to date, I would only date someone that was marriage material because otherwise why get attached to somebody I know is not going to work out anyway? The key is not one's home--but one's heart. I'd take the homeless guy who made a few mistakes or some unfortunate circumstances that was humbled, learned from them, and determined to use the experience to grow over the rich man who is selfish, immature, and prideful. But I'm married--so it's all theoretical for me anyway. People in "love" tend to make up their own rules of engagement.
It honestly depends on the situation and WHY they are homeless. I mean I know stuff happens but...I probably wouldn't start actually dating that person until they got back on their feet. I'd be glad to be friends with them and help them get back to where they need to be as much as I could but their would be no romantic involvement until that happened.
I would still go for it. A person is defined by the way they are and treat you, not by the home in which they live in. Everyone goes through hard times, no reason to abandon someone because of their hardships. If someone did that to me, I'd be a bit hurt.
I'm in Sacramento, CA right now and I kinda took a step backwards. I had a place in Pontiac, MI, but stupid me let it go because I felt like nothing else was going for me so I decided to get a fresh start. I didn't expect to be set back this much.
Knowing me I would probably take him home with me. I guess then he would not be homeless! LOL! But really it depends on the guy. It would not be a deal breaker to me as long as they had the potential to not be homeless. Now, if they were homeless because they just did not care about having a good life, that would be a different story. But then I would not likely be attracted to that type person anyway.
Due to me not thinking I ended up homeless in Sacramento, CA. I've been looking for jobs, but no luck yet. It would be easier if I had a stable address. It'd be nice to date a good female. Not even for a place to stay, but simply for the love.
As some of us have already stated, this would depend enormously on the reasons the person in question is homeless. Are they unable to hold down a job because of a debilitating addiction? Or are they simply out of luck in this terrible economy? Two opposing extremes.
Yes I would. If I truly loved someone and he loved me then it wouldn't matter where he lived.
if he don't have a home then you can take him home hahaha joke3x...i think the guy needed a home that is why he is all around the social cirlcle or function..i mean homeless yet wow in funky cool clothes and all that..he must be using the charm to get something..i don't judge just stating my opinion towards this scenerio cos it is odd for a homeless person to be swinging all around so called social function,he should find work to earn money and rent an apartment, there is something wrong with him..attraction is just first impression..but it will not go on in the long run..it takes more than attraction that will make a relationship..it is not his being homeless,why he homeless and for the fact that he is homeless,,he get so busy with socializing than doing more productive stuff that will get him a home or to make him a better person!!!..now if you want to help him,and it is not where he lived..what kind of person he is..there is something wrong in this..don't be all gullible.."love is easy to feel" but hard to maintain!!!..
No. I crave stability in the person I am with too much to date someone whose life is in a place of homelessness. I was homeless as a child at times, and I don't want that to be a part of my life again. I want to be with someone who can provide me with a sense of strength, purpose and security.
No...think about it. I thought it would be shallow to not want to live that sort of life or try to build him up to live differently but either way you look at it, if he loves you - he would do better for himself. If you love him, you would allow him to do better for himself.
For me it definitely would depend on the reason he was homeless. As mentioned before, this economy has made many people homeless.
If he was just stagnant and not trying to better his circumstances then that would put me off. However, if he was doing everything he could to get back on his feet then I would have no problem being with him.
It's not so much that he has to have a home, it's more about the desire to have a home that says a lot about the person.
My superficial self says no way but my caring side would want to help in some way depending on the situation.
it would all depend on what made them homeless in the first place. some people are forced into homelessness, others bring it on themselves. if it were forced and they had goals and ambition; definately!
I suppose it depends why they are homeless, if they work, how long they have been homeless etc. A man made homeless through disaster (hurricane?) probably wouldn't be an issue, one made homeless through his own action probably would. I may be open to dating a homeless man (theoretically) but definitely wouldn't be moving them in!
That is vary much true not all homeless people look filthy dirty and bad in fact you could maybe even know a person who is homeless but no realize it because they don't look dirty I think it's fine to fall in love with a homeless person I mean I did
It's not that he's homeless cause he dose have a home and a family who supports him but where he lives ... He lives in a small little house almost underground it could almost be a basement and the house is FALLING APART every day but by bit he doesn't have a lot of food of GRATE CLOTHING he doesn't have sofas he has chairs and sleeps on the floor and his entry door if half broken so u can see everything in his house so it's not like he's homeless but more like broke he doesn't have a lot if money AT ALL but I don't know how he did it but I love him we met we talked and I knew that right there something had happened ... Do you believe in love at first sight? Well I do! Cause it happened to me and him and we have been together now for 4years I love him to bits and maybe JUST MAYBE we might even think about getting married and moving into a big nice house! <3
I don't want to be overly religious, but I find wisdom in the teachings / times and life of JC. I have to say I would open my heart [not let my brains fall out], and date a homeless women with compassion, wisdom , sensitivity, and all that could be described as love. JC was homless when he was born.
I have dated women whom struggle with mental illness, and loneliness. Its to bad , but she couldn't believe in a relationship lasting. I would have stayed with her . I know what its like to see and even experience rejection, being made to feel you are a burden for some reason [I"m not]. My heart will remain open to that special one whether she walks into my life from off the street or from within a church or anything between. I know this is love, true love and love will find a way.
I would date a homeless women - if she did not have some terrible disease and did hot have a severe mental illness and if she was not a criminal of some sort. But that is because I am a man. In general, men care about what a woman looks like. Women care about how much money a man has. That is the fundamental difference. That is probably why you see more homeless men than homeless women on the street.
l would rather want to know his background... because first of all l would not want any one that lies to hid anything as to why or how he became homeless.... l mean he might have had a bad relationship, or drugs related issues or wife beater.... But yea who wouldn't want some handsome ..... but l wouldn't take on someone that l would not know what he is really like.....
If I truly liked them then I wouldn't mind. I mean I am attracted to you not your house.
Unreal, do you have standards? You really don't mind dating DOWN. Smart people date the same or UP, not DOWN!
I wasn't going to reply being this post is so old....Your attitude is precisely why anyone with a brain would lie about their circumstances. Some can't but some can. Homeless doesn't mean no income. It can mean not enough for a place to live or other reasons. I have a female friend in this situation & she won't tell anyone the truth. Why would she with this viewpoint? As a convicted felon I know telling women the truth about my past virtually guarantees no relationship. And no, love doesn't conquer all. We live in a very judgmental society. I encounter a few women smart enough to do background checks but for the most part once they get to know me they realize I'm a great guy and don't feel the need to "check me out". I wish it were different but it isn't. As for my friend, why ruin what could be a good thing? And she doesn't know the guy well enough to tell him. Truth isn't what it's cracked up to be.
As a man who has been homeless let me
Just chime in
Most of the people on here are assuming that people are or go homeless because they lost their job or just broke with someone
But from my experience it comes from just not
Making enough money
And living out doors or on the road costs more money so you're in this perpetual hole
And you would expect friends and family to help but in my experience the time it took me to save enough to get a place and live paycheck to paycheck immediately again
They just end up using you and treating you like the plague or a burden
I mean personally when my car broke down . Or all four tires went flat or whatever no one called to
Ask If I was alright to pick me up anything
But when they need something like they're gonna lose their house if these repairs aren't made immediately
And spend like four weekends driving 4 hours for a ridiculous amount of money like $20
So you can't sleep outside and sleeping in a car is painful after three nights
So you rent a room and pay someone 90% of their rent and and honestly I've never rented a room from someone and felt comfortable
Whether they want you to sleep with them
Or come in and turn the lights out constantly on you
Or people stealing
You're still in this plague burden disposition
And I don't call that having a home
What it comes down to
There are different levels of homelessness
Personally when I pass people pan handling I'm disgusted
They sit on the street and beg people for money
And try to guilt trip me into giving them a dollar
A lot of the time I didn't have a dollar to my name
Like screaming give me a f$&& dollar
No matter how hungry I was
And I've almost starved
I've never stolen a dime a cookie
And begged someone for a bite to eat ( excluding one time to an ex girlfriend , begged for a can of soup )
Interesting comment. I hear your frustration. I came close and have been homeless. I was living with family and felt I was a burden on them all of the time. It wasn't like that was my goal in life; nevertheless, you aren't answering the question.
I am achually in this situation myself. It saddens me what a judgemental world we live in. I do understand that dating a homeless person isnt for everyone. That is fine. But its not nice when others judge others for thier choices . I am in a tempoary accommodation place due to the fact my family couldnt cope with a physical illness I have mixed with Cogntive issues. I was severly depressed at one point. They couldnt deal with this either. I have met a lovley guy in the place. Never did I imagiene this happening but life is unpridictable. He is here due to having depression and possibly aspegers. This had caused him problems getting on in the world. He cant help being ill. Its sad that people are expected to not have love just because they dont are in a difficult situaion. My partner has worked very high up jobs in the past. He was really tried but does find life hard. As do I. We both have adhd and suspected aspegers so I guess in that way we are quite different. As in we dont go along with the social norms. Part of me disires normality and stablity and we have nearly broken up just over the fact I worry about what people will think but I do love him. He is very caring, loving, completly accepts me for who I am. Yes the situaion is ideal and I never saw this happening to me but life works in strange ways. So obvisily my answer is yes and I am currently in that situaion. I think people should remember its achually quite easy to become homeless in this society. And no one really wants or asks to be homeless. Apart from a rare few.
No. Homelessness is an unfortunate situation and while I am compassionate rather than dating, I would think that person needs to focus on rebuilding their life. Can't trust people in extremely bad situations and take them into my life/world. In my opinion people without resources will tell you anything for food and shelter therefore I can't believe in one's sincerity because of their circumstances.
Is that person homeless due to unfortunate circumstances?
Are they homeless because they smoke crack and rob? (then I date them and my stuff comes up missing?)
Are they homeless because they just got out a few months ago for murder?
I've lived life to long to believe in the lady and the tramp situation. Never seen that play out well 9/10.
It's so unfortunate that society thinks every homeless person is a drug addict/drunk/criminal/deadbeat. This is very said that people have such a low opinion of others and are so judgmental. We live in such a judgmental society. As I stated in another post, homeless doesn't mean no income. These attitudes only serve to make people dishonest. Because for some reason, people who think they will never be in this situation, think people in a homeless situation don't need/require/deserve love and affection. Attitudes like this only serve to perpetuate lies and dishonesty. As my mother used to say, "By the grace of God, there go I" meaning all of us are only a hair away from being homeless.
I don't date anyone who is homeless. They have nothing to offer me and are a handicap. If s/he lives in a homeless shelter and is "well dressed" and "emotionally stable" I would question them on if they are writing their thesis or are they working with the homeless or something along that line. Listen, a bum on the side of the road holding a brown bag to his mouth is: a drunk. A person with needle marks is: yes, a drug addict.
If you want to help raise the status of a homeless person, go ahead and take them home. They have a lot of baggage - do you?
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