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jump to last post 1-8 of 8 discussions (17 posts)

My live in partner cheated on me twice, should I stay or go?

  1. Crypton profile image61
    Cryptonposted 4 years ago

    My live in partner cheated on me twice, should I stay or go?

    I love this girl with all of my heart, I have my own flaws but before I realize the things that I lack of she already has someone else the 1st time and she hid it from me for 2 mo's, we used to live in the same roof for 3 yrs, the first time she cheated was during our 2 yrs and 10 mo's of living together, and she left me, the day I left our home was a month before our 3rd year living together.  Then I searched for her and we reconciled, but after we reconciled we are having communication challenges, we only see each other twice a week that time, after 2 mo's she has another lover the 2nd time.

  2. jlpark profile image85
    jlparkposted 4 years ago

    The fact that you are asking this question, in the way in which you are asking it, says to me that you know what you need to do in this situation.  But, if you are looking for people who agree with you to help bolster your courage...here goes:

    It sounds like she is not in this for you. She is in it for her, and what she can get out of it from you, as well as another.  She obviously does not feel strongly about you, or as strongly as you do, or she wouldn't need to cheat.

    I'd go.

    1. Lapse profile image59
      Lapseposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Amen.

    2. Crypton profile image61
      Cryptonposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      jlpark, I still think that it could mean that I have something that I lack of and this is the result, I was a better man before but because of hardships we were facing she had lost the faith in me, and we were having communication problems.

  3. dashingscorpio profile image87
    dashingscorpioposted 4 years ago

    "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."
    - Oscar Wilde
    Clearly if someone is cheating on you they don't believe YOU are "special". You said; "the (first time) she cheated was.....Then (I searched) for her.....etc"
    Only (you) can determine what (your) "deal breakers" are.  Odds are if you think this the best you can do then you are going to keep pursuing someone who believes (she) CAN do "better.
    The underlying definition of soul-mates is two people who share the (same) values, want the same things for the relationship, naturally agree on how to obtain those things, and last but not least there is a (mutual) love and desire for one another.
    In order for her to be "the one" she would have see you as being "the one". There are over 7 billion people on this planet. Do you really believe this is the BEST you can do?
    There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships: we either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Don't expect your mate to change! People only change when (they) are unhappy with the results (they're) getting.

    1. Crypton profile image61
      Cryptonposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      I would want to stay with her and help her specially that she has no one now, except the fact that when I was not there, there is this man that likes her and comforted her and so she was vulnerable w/ all the problem and that made her feel guilty.

    2. dashingscorpio profile image87
      dashingscorpioposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Crypton, Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse This woman cheated because SHE wanted to. Whatever man she spends time with is because SHE wants to. Refusing to acknowledge this is lying to yourself. Don't get used again.

    3. Crypton profile image61
      Cryptonposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      I hope Lord will give me strength to face the truth, and I hope Lord will heal this pain, but I will help my self even though it is really hard for me.

    4. dashingscorpio profile image87
      dashingscorpioposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Crypton, I know this is hard to believe but you will get through this! Just about every man or woman has had their heart broken. Most of us heal and find others to love. Best of luck! http://dashingscorpio.hubpages.com/hub/ABreakupMethod

  4. klw1157 profile image87
    klw1157posted 4 years ago

    Two strikes and she is definitely getting close if not already striking out. The heart is a funny thing and it is hard for others, not in your shoes, to tell you what to do. I am with jlpark however, it sounds like you might already know the answer to your question.

    1. Crypton profile image61
      Cryptonposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      She was having problem w/ her parents and family when she cheated on me, its just that we have commucation problem and its a long distance relationship when she left our home. I am saving money for us to startover again.

  5. Alphadogg16 profile image91
    Alphadogg16posted 4 years ago

    In my opinion you should have left after the first time. The fact that she hid it from you for 2 months shows it was intentional and premeditated, a mistake happens in one night and one time, if you learn from it. Obviously she has not learned from her mistakes. More than likely if you stay, it will happen again.

  6. Kemet Musiq profile image73
    Kemet Musiqposted 4 years ago

    It depends on if you enjoy/don't mind being cheated on. If you don't like it, then get out. It isn't ever going to stop. You showed this person it is ok. You have become the safe partner. The person that will always be there. They have you, and they have something new and exciting whenever they want. Why would they give that up? Having cake and eating it too. I am sure this person has cheated on you more then twice. I would leave if I were you. Or start seeing other people as well. I know, easier said then done, but it is your best bet.

    1. Crypton profile image61
      Cryptonposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      The guy is almost ten years older than her, sometimes she will say she wanna break up w/ me then later she would tell me that she loves more than that guy, then would cry and say please take me home and put me back to the girl I was.

  7. duffsmom profile image61
    duffsmomposted 4 years ago

    You should go.  The gal in question obviously does not respect you. When you love and respect someone you don't cheat...and if she finds she is not happy with you, then she needs to be respectful and have the courage to tell you she wants someone else. At this point she lacks honesty and integrity.

    Sir, at this point, from that you have written here, there is not a lot to admire about this woman.  There are women out there who will treat you right and you deserver that.

    1. Crypton profile image61
      Cryptonposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      I realized that she did this out of her problem, I would be honest she has no home, no family, no money, no work and so while I was away a man who likes her saw that opportunity, she fell and during that time I was not able to help her.

  8. DDE profile image25
    DDEposted 4 years ago

    You have been cheated on twice  don't stay and look in need for your partner. Cheating won't stop and you deserve better.

 
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