If you caught a friend cheating or being cheated on, would you say something?

1. 81

   Bk42authorposted 11 years ago

   If you caught a friend cheating or being cheated on, would you say something?
   
   

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2. 60

   fpherj48posted 11 years ago

   Say "something" to whom?   If I'm really good friends with someone, I probably have at least some knowledge or at least a suspicion that he/she is cheating.  Since this behavior would disappoint me and my friend would probably know this about me, It's fair to say we would avoid discussing it.
   Friend or not.....it's not "my business."   
   Should I discover that a friend of mine is being cheated on, I'd take the same position.  I am not the "Infidelity S.W.A.T. leader."  This is an extremely personal issue that can become a volatile one.  It is also one that I believe should be dealt with by the individuals involved.
   Being an "informant" in such situations rarely ends up in a positive light for anyone.
   My advice?  Remain mute.  You may wish to lend an ear or a shoulder.....but HOLD the tongue.

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      Bk42authorposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      That's exactly what I said. I've known ppl who have spoken up when they knew a their friends significant other was cheating & it ended up being a "shoot the msgr" situation. Too many emotions involved & none of my business.

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   wychicposted 11 years ago

   If I was friends with the person who is cheating, then I'd say something to that friend. Not about how I think they need to change their behavior, because that's not my place to say, but how I can't continue associating with them based on that behavior. If they'll betray the person they profess to love, then I cringe to think what they'd do to a mere friend like me. I don't feel that it's my place to say anything to the cheated person, regardless of how difficult it can be to stay silent.

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      fpherj48posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      wychic.......Very astute of you!  You are so wise.  How would one trust a cheater to be a loyal friend?  You really can't.

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   2. 81

      Bk42authorposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      That is a good point!

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   tsmogposted 11 years ago

   Wow! A tough question. I would first ask what does "cheating" mean or define it first. I think I would first discover what that means for that friend well before I confess any knowledge of this or that.

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      Bk42authorposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Good question. It could mean different things to different people. I think for a lot of people though it would include any kind of intimate physical contact.

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   old albionposted 11 years ago

   You might be desperate to help a friend but at first say nothing. See if it comes out in the future and then perhaps you can speak. The problem is that is if the couple fall out after your revelation, it might be they get back together. You will then find yourself without a friend.
   Graham.

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   Bishop55posted 11 years ago

   I probably would NOT.   As adults we make our own decisions, although I don't agree with infidelity, I understand there are often many reasons for it.  I'd be supportive if I could if/when that friend ever found out.  But I would not be the bearer of that news.  I don't think it would be my business or my place.

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   dashingscorpioposted 11 years ago

   I tend to stay out of other folks business for the most part. If my (best friend) or a (close family member) was being cheated on I would let them know what I saw. However I would not walk up on anyone and make a scene.
   Most likely no one is going to "thank you" for being the messenger. If I was not spotted by the cheater odds are I would let things unfold naturally. People claim they want to know and then they turn around and throw (you) under the bus as they attempt to work things out with their mate! The truth is seldom pretty or popular.

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   Alphapxposted 11 years ago

   Being a courageous in this manner is being a good friend to him/her. We can do shameful things in bad way, we can also do shameful things to do good things. This is the time so ashamed of telling the truth just for the sake of love to your friend.

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   tehgybposted 11 years ago

   First I'd call them out on it - right then and there.
   Then I would tell their (apparently not so) significant other.

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   1. 81

      Bk42authorposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I've done that before, but it's never ended up well, for anyone. As others have mentioned, people think they want to hear the truth but at the end of the day that's not the case & the one delivering the msg gets blamed.

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